Congratulations, your baby's born! This means you have a reason to celebrate, but this could also be the start of an overwhelming situation for both of you and your wife/partner. The whole "having a baby" thing is not as easy as it may sound. You have to make sure that you have loads of disposable income to spend on milk, diapers, etc., which let's be honest; many people may not have. Once you see your baby, you'd probably look for an instruction manual, but guess what? There is none. Will you be a good parent? Will you be a good provider? These are just some of the things that you'd think about. But there's one, often overlooked side of this life-changing event, your wife/partner. An instruction manual for the baby may be an obvious need; the instruction manual for your wife probably wasn't on your Christmas List. But worry no more, MummySG is here to help.
Here are some things new dads need to know about new mums:
1. New mum feels unattractive
She may believe that she is the most amazing creature to walk the earth. Who wouldn't? At one point she had 2 heads, 4 hands, 4 legs and 2 different beating hearts. However, there are so many conflicted feelings about how she looks right now. She feels gross due to her stretch marks. Her clothes no longer fit her. This is the best time for you to be very vocal about how you feel about her appearance. When she's in tears because nothing fits, look her in the eyes and tell her all of the things that make her beautiful.
2. New mum is madly in love with her baby
Even if PPD is taking control, she still thinks this tiny thing is pretty cool and will be taking photos and posting them on Facebook even before you know it. She's like a school girl under a love spell, and she can't get enough. You, as the New Dad, will probably feel like a third wheel for a little bit. It's hard but it isn't personal. So instead of being the jealous husband, support her all the way!
3. New mum feels uptight
There are a lot of advices and opinions from everyone. Her sister thinks she should immediately go back to work. Her mum thinks she should exclusively breastfeed longer. Your mum seems a little too eager to let her know she's doing it all wrong. These things are making her feel scared, and she already feels like this is a testament to all of the things she's doing wrong. She might be a defensive mummy after all these. Cheer her up and remind her to just go with her gut. After all, this baby was given to her and not to anyone else.
4. New mum needs a punching bag
Her house smells like milk, she can't sleep, and she wakes up at 2 in the morning. Are you the reason behind all these? NO. But this is the best time for you to be her punching bag because she can't get mad at the baby. She can't throw her tantrums to this adorable, precious, sweet baby no matter what. oops, we hope that you dont't take this literally. Simply put, your wife, as a new mum, may need to release her angst and frustrations at someone else but the baby. And yes, that can definitely be you. Remember, through thick and thin?
5. New mum loves watching you become a dad
It may not look like it, but when you spend time with the little human, you're spending time with her. She loves it when you tell her about how this little human is changing you. She really loves you.
There you go, New Dads. We do hope this makes this experience a little easier, if not painless.