Have you seen a doctor for your condition?
This is a discussion on 30, still single. Any advice? within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; Hi, I am already 30 this year and still single. Would appreciate any advice you ladies would give. In fact, ...
I am already 30 this year and still single. Would appreciate any advice you ladies would give.
In fact, I've never even been on a date before. This is because I am urinary incontinent since secondary school and need to wear adult diapers all the while. I've always been too embarrassed about my condition to go out with any guy.
I guess my main problems are
1. When to break the news to the guy? I dont't think the first date is an appropriate time?
2. I think many guys like to touch their girls bum? I can't afford to let this happen because once he touches my bottom, he will definitely feel the diaper. Any way to prevent this?
3. What to do if he finds out and decides time break up? What if he tells everyone about my diapers.?
Actually, I am sort of resigned to the fact that I will be forever single, but seeing that most of you ladies have experience, I thought I will just ask around.
Have you seen a doctor for your condition?
I am not sure how to go about your situation. But there is one thing that I am certain: there are still decent guys out there. You know, if and when you decide to go out on a date, i think this is one of the things that you have to tell from the very beginning, so that your date will understand. If he is mature enough and really finds your company amusing, your condition won't matter. Besides, your condition isn't that bad: It is like having a heavy menstrual period, thus, for the use of the diaper.
So there. Just go out sis, and fish...there are soooo many good guys out there. And if they dont't end up as your partners...you can add them to your friend's list. And then you can fish again... try and try as they all say.
Never be ashamed of your situation. Nothing there to be ashamed of. (: Cheer up and be the confident woman that you are. Hence, the question #3 won't matter. Just be honest from the very start. If he breaks up with you(hopefully not), may it be for other reasons, because if a guy calls it off just because of your situation, girl that guy is a j*rk. And you wouldn't for sure wanted to be with a guy like that.
Remember...you are worth it.
Last edited by SarahGurbuxani-Carpio; 14-11-2012 at 09:05 AM.
Thanks for the encouragement
Just to share, I met my hubby online thru the MIRC chatroom (during those days when chating online was still quite decent). I am very overweight (100kg +), bad temper. My hubby was very skinny. In fact, think I fell down and fractured my ankle on our 5th outings, he told me, the moment he saw me fell down, he knew that it was impossible between us cos he felt so helpless and he couldn't hold on to me at all (cos his wt vs mine).
So we just began as two chatters, going out, sharing each other companionship. Then one day (about 3 mths later), we felt that we had a special feelings growing, not long after, we became attached. It was not smooth after, we quarrel, fought nearly every week. I never be "good gal" or "niecer" just becos I am fat, in fact, again and again I have tested is patience (like trying to drive him away). We are marry in year 2004 and have a gal in 2005. We still fight and quarrel ( in fact usually I m the one doing and he is the one watching), but many see us as very loving couple. And many also dont understand my "pattern" can get such a nice husband.
What I am trying to say is, just go and make friends, dont need to say must go find husband. When the feelings come, it comes. If he really loves you, he wouldn't mind, cos for some pp ( like my hubby), heart is all that matters. dont force it, just let it happen naturally, you never know, true love may be waiting for you to make the first move. If a girl that fat, that fierce, that dominating, that unreasonable like me (I m typing the truth, nothing but the truth )can find a good husband, I m sure you have better chance than me. Jia You !!!
my sis and i love your name! Sounds like a beautiful & happy name. We're sure you must be someone cheery too.
Did you know hazel means "commander"?
Pls dont't feel ashamed or bad over this condition of yours.
Everyone faces different problems and shameful secrets in life that they have to share with their partners eventually .
Its just a matter of time.
Find the courage to make the first step alright?
Now back to your questions.
1) If the guy is decent enough, he shouldn't and wouldn't probe or touch on such personal & private matters on the first date.
Keep it simple.
Get to know one another enough to feel comfortable around with the next time you plan the second date.
2) For sure the men can't keep their hands off their partners bums..maybe because that's sign of intimacy for them? Not sure. lol
BUT, the main point is mutual respect.
Make sure he knows you are comfortable enough around him before he puts his hands anywhere on you and not just your bum.
This should happen at least after more than a couple of dates and preferably when you're comfortable around him.
Even if it takes months.
If he's really into you, he'll respect your decision.
3) Like we said above, decent guys have the manners to respect a lady before any kind of intimacy is involved.
By the time he "finds out", it should be long enough for the relationship to already have stabilized into a comfortable zone.
Enough to trust each other with personal secrets.
And if unfortunately enough, if the relationship really should take a turn for the worse, he would have the decency to keep it to himself
if he were a decent charactervsince what's happened between the both of you should stay hush hush just between the both of you.
You worry over excessively, dear.
Let nature take its course.
Anyway, here's a pretty useful remedy we found online.
Try it. Proven & tested on several women themselves and they left pretty satisfactory feedbacks after.
APPLE CIDER VINEGAR.
1 tsp organic, raw, apple cider vinegar 3x a day with a glass of water (about 12 oz) with a spoonful of raw honey.
Hope this is of good use & advise for ya.
Last edited by Beautee; 26-12-2012 at 03:50 PM. Reason: spelling error
What you have become, is the price you paid to get what you used to want.
i agreed go out more, make more friends. There is still the big guy up there who loves you more than anyone..