This is a discussion on Advice, I have some doubts feeling within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; does he come back home smelling fresh like just bath or with female perfume smell? do you know his monthly ...
does he come back home smelling fresh like just bath or with female perfume smell? do you know his monthly expenses? will he let you know his salary? could be he is really tired from working and could have an affair outside... if really want to know maybe have to engage PI .
does he smoke?
you better dont't do PI yourself. Instead of solving your problem you will create trouble once he found out you are following him.
dont't jump into conclusion immediately.
How old is your husband? Maybe he is having the 'mid-life crisis' ?
Or maybe he has problems at work, and does not want you and the children to worry, so he kept everything to himself?
I know it's tough when he does not want to talk or share with you.
But if possible, try to talk to him first, maybe by email or sms, or write a letter to him?
It's sad when we can't communicate with our partner anymore, but if we just jump into conclusion or getting paranoid of nothing, it does not help anything, and will only make things worse.
I hope you could filter the advices that have been given to you here with clear head.
I wish to thank you all of you for your advices.
Last edited by YanZee; 24-04-2013 at 08:13 AM.
he mid 30s.
how do I know he is having "mid life criss" as he dont want to talk to me if he is having some problems
or somethings else.
sometimes he wake up middle of the night, get out of the room smoke then sleep outside as I dont like
he after smoking sleep beside me later.
lately he cannot sleep well too.
then i think he may be having stress with his work.
I believed you have tried to communicate with him, but it have failed.
If you keep on trying, he will even take this as a nuisance.
have out whether is he really at work then think of what to do next
let him be..
come back evening, out again after dinner, ask him, say, with friends later happy hour, only come back late night, sleep
at sofa whole night, saw me morning, go inside room & continue sleeping.
if he is not lying then where did he go. He have being telling you he is working OT and going to work. I think you better be on the lookout
if possible ask whether you can tag along with his happy hours?
she have not't ask i already know the answer will be no.
So he is not as busy as he claim he is, still can go 'happy hour' and leave the family with the wife on weekends.
last time I used to go with him happy hours, after our 1st daughter is born, no more already, busy taking care, where got times, now 2 daughters somemore.
sometimes weekend, saturday or sunday, he go happy hours with his friends, I'm not sure is the same friends or not I used to know before.
even thou he had no more interest in the family & ME, he still contribute & pay the monthly house installments & expenses & my monthly allowance.
Its kinda sad to know about your realtionship with your hubby..
have you ever try to ask him nicely, if there is anything he wants to talk about or he is having a trouble with? whether he keen to share with you since you are his wife should share all the sadness and happiness together?
if he asked nothing, then you may want to say, its kinda sad to see him like this, looks very tired, and may be say sprry for giving him so much stress, etc.
im not sure if you can dig more answer from him but dont give up ya
try to be more patient when you ask the question and may be you can try to massage him when he is back from work?
all da best for you and your kids
he dont want to talk or share with me if he really had problems or somethings in his mind, he just want to keep to himself,
rather smoke alone whole night sitting or lying at the sofa, he can whole night playing his mobile games too.
go to work early, come back late night, weekend or public holidays working, I bet he work this 1st May Labour Day too, now
already 10.00pm +++, he still not back yet.
if things does not get better and you have no chance to talk to him at all, perhaps you can try to write him a letter?
Mail it to his office, address it to him. But make sure no one has access to open his mails / letters, e.g secretary.
Write to him, ask him how long will he behave like that.
the family needs him, your kids need him and miss him a lot.
tell him, things will not get better if he does not give you and himself a chance to talk.
if he has problems or worries, share it with you, and try to work out the solution.
if not for himself or you, then do it for the children's sake.
perhaps you could also send him cards occasionally, just to say have a nice day etc.
hope things will get better for both of you.