Am I being too much?

[jxmummy]

Hi Mummies,

Am I being too much?

dear daughter always have her last feeding at around 7plus, and it can last her till the next morning around 7plus. Normally I will not wake her up to feed her unless she wakes up on her own. but mother in law always like to disturb her sleep, wake her up and feed her milk, i have told my dear husband about it and dear husband did tell mother in law, mother in law said she's afraid dear daughter might be hungry. but in my own thinking, if dear daughter is hungry, she will wake up on her own, there's no need to disturb her sleep and wake her up. i tried to tolerate and monitor mother in law if she continues to does that, and yes! she continued! cos dear daughter sleeps with me, whenever she wanted to feed her milk, she would need to come in to my room. but starting from few days ago, i started to lock my room door, so mother in law would not come in and disturb my dear daughter sleep. but come to think about it, am I being too much to lock my room door? or should i just talk to my mother in law again? i have tried means and ways to talk to mother in law but she doesn't seems to hack care about it. And, i always have a feeling my parent in law dont't like me to carry my dear daughter, i think they are afraid dear daughter might be too close to me, but what the hell, she's my daughter for goodness sake, they are just her grandparent, dear daughter is inside my womb for almost 10 months, i gave birth to her, they dont't have the rights to do so!!! father in law is another one, he always like to talk nonsense in front of my dear daughter, babies are 'pantang', can't he just keep his mouth shut!!! everytime when i saw my father in law carried dear daughter, i would carry her back from father in law, i just dont't like father in law to carry my dear daughter. I just to move out from that house and stay together with my dear husband and dear daughter only!!!

[annie]

dont think you r being too much. if talk dosent make sense to them then actions is necessary. so locking the door is correct imo.

[angelwendy]

Originally Posted by Hui Min Hi Mummies, Am I being too much? dear daughter always have her last feeding at around 7plus, and it can last her till the next morning around 7plus. Normally I will not wake her up to feed her unless she wakes up on her own. but mother in law always like to disturb her sleep, wake her up and feed her milk, i have told my dear husband about it and dear husband did tell mother in law, mother in law said she's afraid dear daughter might be hungry. but in my own thinking, if dear daughter is hungry, she will wake up on her own, there's no need to disturb her sleep and wake her up. i tried to tolerate and monitor mother in law if she continues to does that, and yes! she continued! cos dear daughter sleeps with me, whenever she wanted to feed her milk, she would need to come in to my room. but starting from few days ago, i started to lock my room door, so mother in law would not come in and disturb my dear daughter sleep. but come to think about it, am I being too much to lock my room door? or should i just talk to my mother in law again? i have tried means and ways to talk to mother in law but she doesn't seems to hack care about it. And, i always have a feeling my parent in law dont't like me to carry my dear daughter, i think they are afraid dear daughter might be too close to me, but what the hell, she's my daughter for goodness sake, they are just her grandparent, dear daughter is inside my womb for almost 10 months, i gave birth to her, they dont't have the rights to do so!!! father in law is another one, he always like to talk nonsense in front of my dear daughter, babies are 'pantang', can't he just keep his mouth shut!!! everytime when i saw my father in law carried dear daughter, i would carry her back from father in law, i just dont't like father in law to carry my dear daughter. I just to move out from that house and stay together with my dear husband and dear daughter only!!!

i think if for me i will do the same... so i dont't think you r too much...

[jasobias]

well unless you r living on your own you do have to maintain a reasonable relationship with your in laws.As for your mother in law waking baby up for milk,i think she must be genuinely worried tht baby might be hungry or become thin as she goes without milk for such a long period.As long she does not expect you to get up n feed your daughter,its not a bad idea for her to feed your daughter.Maybe you cld talk to her again.Locking the door wld hurt her feelings n i dont think she meant any harm.

[Ting]

i agree with jasobias, i think locking up the door is quite rude n is very obvious what you r doing.
what if your mother in law do the same to you?
like EG, ask your husband to sleep with her in her room, then you always middle of the night ask husband go back to your room to sleep, so one fine day she also lock the door n dont let husband sleep with you??
AFTERALL, is HER son right?
since she is the one doing the feeding n all, not disturbing you, why not??she is just worried for her grandchild, i see no worries on that.
n i think you r thinking too much on your parent in law wantin to keep your baby for themselves. cos you r a new mum, so they just more anxious. my parents r the same. when pin was still an infant, they do most of the carrying too.
n for your father in law, what kinda nonsense he say? perhaps he is more modern than you?
dont be too superstitious.

"pantang" this kinda thing, everyone have diff versions, we also wont know which is true? so just close one eye bahh.

if you r living with them, you still need to give them respect, cos they r your elders, n also half parents. their blood also run thru your child's blood.
regarding issues you cant bring up,get your hubby to do the job.
though he is your baby, but you belong to the same family, dont let small issues like that to cause unhappiness.


JMHO.

[jxmummy]

but dear daughter is close to 6 months already, pediatrician also told me that if dear daughter doesn't wake up for milk, just her sleep thru the night...

[jxmummy]

I've been tolerating all this while, I gave in to them, I dont't talk back to them, I respect them. But why can't they do the same to me? Just because they're elderly and I'm their daughter in law? And now, I'm just asking them not to wake dear daughter up if she doesn't cry milk, just let her sleep thru the night, why can't they respect me?

[Ting]

bring your mother in law along with you when you take your girl for next jab.
let the pediatrician tell her, then she will follow suit.

[jxmummy]

Originally Posted by Ting bring your mother in law along with you when you take your girl for next jab. let the pediatrician tell her, then she will follow suit.

mother in law always follows, but she always think that pediatrician is talking nonsense.

[Ting]

hmmm, your mother in law quite a tough nut to crack. ok, i'll try to think of more funny funny ideas. :P

[jxmummy]

Originally Posted by Ting hmmm, your mother in law quite a tough nut to crack. ok, i'll try to think of more funny funny ideas. :P

Haha, thanks!!!

[autumn82]

Just laff off, tell her milk powder too expensive, so you're trying to "save" milk powder.

My mother in law also same like yours, only thing different is we dont't live together, so she can't control me.

In fact, I wean Iggy off nite feeds gradually when he is 2-3mths+, my mother in law also say, can meh...?? Wait he hungry ehh... ~~~ If he is hungry, he will wake up and cry duhz.. :x LOL.

[Domique]

tell your mother in law that your baby can start semi solids already so dont wanna feed so much milk in the night so morning wakie and drink little milk then feed food...

i think old folks love to see their grandson start semi solid food.

[jxmummy]

Originally Posted by autumn82 Just laff off, tell her milk powder too expensive, so you're trying to "save" milk powder. My mother in law also same like yours, only thing different is we dont't live together, so she can't control me. In fact, I wean Iggy off nite feeds gradually when he is 2-3mths+, my mother in law also say, can meh...?? Wait he hungry ehh... ~~~ If he is hungry, he will wake up and cry duhz.. :x LOL.

so good... i want to move out...

[jxmummy]

Originally Posted by Domique tell your mother in law that your baby can start semi solids already so dont wanna feed so much milk in the night so morning wakie and drink little milk then feed food... i think old folks love to see their grandson start semi solid food.

dear daughter started with solid food already, morning milk cereal, afternoon porridge...

[snowbear]

Honestly i dont think you're being very rude. You've already tried the soft mtd of getting hubby to talk to her about it n she refuses to listen. Sometimes, if the soft mtd doesn't work, then I dont blame you for using the harsh mtd tho it may seem rude to some, considering you're living under one roof. My mother in law doesn't live with me but she's also very meddlesome so sometimes I end up just bringing my dear daughter into my room and locking the door if necessary (with turning on the air-con as the pretext). There's no need to wake a 6-month-old up for nite feed really... maybe you can get your mother in law to help with other feeds or feed the semisolids so she feels that she's got a greater grandmotherly part to play?

[apollo]

i agree that locking up the door is quite rude BUT i'll do the same if i were in your shoe since mother in law dont understand at all... i understand, cos my Grand mother in law also think that nowadays pediatrician like to bullshit whenever i told her babies under 6mths DONT need water...

as for the pantang issue, to me i'm still okay... i'm not very pantang cos i choose not to.. so whenever my family says dear son is fat, heavy etc, i'll just laugh it off...

[annie]

actually .. i feel she is kinda rude as well if she comes into my rm uninvited. even if its her house... cos its my rm... n coming in while im sleeping... a bit intruding my privacy ... so even if i got no daughter but she comes in as n when she like it, i will lock the door too lol. she is concern bout your daughter feeling hungry which is good intention but then i would worry that she is creating a bad habit for dear daughter... what if she suddenly decided that she should have a night feed since grandma always give? then started waking up at night? then i die? lol.

[jxmummy]

Originally Posted by annie actually .. i feel she is kinda rude as well if she comes into my rm uninvited. even if its her house... cos its my rm... and coming in while im sleeping... a bit intruding my privacy ... so even if i got no daughter but she comes in as and when she like it, i will lock the door too lol. she is concern bout your daughter feeling hungry which is good intention but then i would worry that she is creating a bad habit for dear daughter... what if she suddenly decided that she should have a night feed since grandma always give? then started waking up at night? then i die? lol.

Yes, exactly what I'm thinking too. Am afraid dear daughter may has this habit.

[annie]

yea so... even though she is the grandma, you r the mother! you have your rights on how you wanna handle your girl. so verbal warning dosent work then no choice got to take actions. though she might be piss with you locking the door... is she ok these few days? as in.. did she show you black face or ask you bout it?

[Ting]

hmmm when she enter your room, do you know it?
if so, maybe you just pretend to roll over n hug baby or tell your mother in law in a annoyed tone (cos when ppl sleeping n being woken up they will get annoyed right?) that baby just sleep only, SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~

you know, use the "act blur" way?

[jxmummy]

Originally Posted by annie yea so... even though she is the grandma, you are the mother! you have your rights on how you wanna handle your girl. so verbal warning dosent work then no choice got to take actions. though she might be piss with you locking the door... is she ok these few days? as in.. did she show you black face or ask you bout it?

nope, she didn't show me black face or ask me anything, still the same as before. just that she didn't come in to my room again, cos this few days i tried not to lock the door and monitor what would happen. to my surprise, she didn't come in again =)

[jxmummy]

Originally Posted by Ting hmmm when she enter your room, do you know it? if so, maybe you just pretend to roll over and hug baby or tell your mother in law in a annoyed tone (cos when ppl sleeping and being woken up they will get annoyed right?) that baby just sleep only, SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~ you know, use the "act blur" way?

yes, cos when she opened the door, she won't open lightly, but with some noise and then sometimes my dear daughter would be awake by that noise.

[diymummy]

I would just lock the door. Then if mother in law gets suspicious or offended I would just say that I'm trying for second baby!! WAHAHAHA! Later she will stop trying to open the door.

[jxmummy]

Originally Posted by diymummy I would just lock the door. Then if mother in law gets suspicious or offended I would just say that I'm trying for second baby!! WAHAHAHA! Later she will stop trying to open the door.

wow, haha!, quite a good idea, can consider... hehe!