If it's my hubby, i fully support bcos it will be a stepping stone on his career.
This is a discussion on Anyone allow yr hubby to pursue partime course while working? within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; Would like to hear fm you gals if you do allow yr hubby to take partime ngt classes (Local university) ...
Would like to hear fm you gals if you do allow yr hubby to take partime ngt classes (Local university) while working at the same time for a period of 2 yrs?? What if his job require him to travel frequently n that he can get sponsorship fm his co. for the course that he wish to take plus this is just an additional cert which is not very crucial to have it, will you still allow him to take??
If it's my hubby, i fully support bcos it will be a stepping stone on his career.
I have a colleague, who takes p-t course, work late, sometime even wkend also work.....he has prob with his family, his wife, son etc....yet he wants to take up this p-t course which is not beneficial to his job scope at all.....so my guess is trying to escape frm family time.....sorry just to side track a bit
Did you sit down and talk it out with your hubby? I mean discuss it at length with him like what do you prefer him to do? like if you prefer him to spend more time with you or are you ok with him not spending time with you? and this course schedule? is it every weekday?
Ask him why he want to take up this course? I know of an ex-colleague, whose hubby collects certs type......but she is ok with it.....try to sometime see frm his POV and see if you can accept it, communicate with each other
I myself will be taking a part time course sponsored by my company for the next 2 years.
My hubs is very supportive of it.
If it's my hubby, I will allow him to do it. Even if it's not of much use now, it will definitely be of use in the future. But of course, some certs have "shelf lives". So it really depends what he is doing, what he wants to do in future.
if he is able to manage his time well n believes he can cope with everything plus able to set time aside for me and baby, i will encourage him to go ahead if he feels that the course will help him in his future work.
do get him to check if there could be penalties (eg: if he fail to complete the course, company wont pay) he will need to take that into consideration.
Well, I dont't mean that this cert is of no use to him now , but he feels its better to secure one since he is young for future purpose if he intends to switch to other areas of work, like perhaps teaching at a later stage..so its like can take or dont't take also not a big issue thg. N furthermore he already had specialize certs on hand for his present job, n yet he still wish to pursue another cert (Master degree) which i kw is not really relevant to his job rgt now. Cos if he does not take this course, he still can perform his duties well.
My main concern is his health, as his present job duties is hectic , requires him to travel to Europe n Asia countries. Though im aware if he takes up the course, schedule of travelling can be arranged but perhaps im too demanding, his course will have to occupy 4 days in the wkdays evening after work which means when he comes back, already about 10plus, get back to sleep at around 11pm, I hardly have time to talk to him or have any discussion. Besides, during the wkends, he still need to do his co managemt reports etc n school work, how to cater quality time for me? cos im aware i can't be selfish to "force" him go out for shopping or dinner with me whereby his mind is always his co. work n studies..
By rgt as a wife, i should fully support him since he is upgrading himself for the sake of a better future. But i feel im already living in comfort n dont't wish to see him taking this course to further increase his stress level which i feel is unnecessary.
N I kw his type, if i agree him to take up the course, after that he would want to take PHD ,never ending... hw?? Then both of us can't go for holidays...miserable life!!
Last edited by crystalpink; 11-09-2011 at 09:51 AM.
Oh its not that my hubby likes studying.. just that he is quite ambitious, always wish to climb high in corporate ladder n perhaps "kiasu". His intention is also to have a "backup" in case due to bad economy or crisis strikes, he can switch to teaching line, n with the cert can even start with higher salary as compared to a degree.
Frankly speaking, I dont't agree him to switch line unless really no choice, cos i dont't believe he will wish to accept a lower pay if its a totally diff job scope like teaching. Even if its at a later stage, like 50 plus, if he switch line, he won't be getting an attractive salary as well n i feel it defits the purpose of hving this cert though he keeps stressing the pt that at least there are more choices n diff paths to look at...to be honest, we did quarrel over this issue a number of times n rgt now, he is not in S'pore but had told me he has not decide yet and will look into the schools for courses info, that makes me angrier..
Last edited by crystalpink; 09-09-2011 at 01:40 PM.
Fyi I dont't have baby at the moment. Not planning to have one..but not sure for the future. To be frank, its not easy to be wife of a workaholic n ambitious guy. I have to settle lots of thgs myself, big or small issue like financial planning, appointmt dates n holiday planning etc etc.. i got to remind him or have to bring up to discuss with him, he won't take initiative to discuss. So, Im sort of a "secretary" to him. So, somehw i tend to envy those couples with kids whose hubby will take initiative to plan for holidays n other activities. Can't even think of hving a baby, if have rgt now, i "faint" ! I dont't think he can cater much quality time for me if he pursue this course, the most is once a wk, accompany me to do marketing n thereafter for dinner, thats all. Maybe during his school vacation, can be more relax other than that guess his AL is to reserve for preparations of exams. If he wants to take up the course, he will always tell me " I anyhw study also can pass, dont't worry that all my AL will be taken up just to study, n I never fail before in my life.." This is just his tactics to make me feel at ease..hehe..
So, if you were me, you dont't mind him to take up is it?? you dont't mind him to sacrifice the 2yrs time with this course which may not be useful in future, cos thgs may chg.. n his efforts may be down to drain.Besides, its not easy taking partime with a hectic job on hand as well n plus the course is tough. R you willing to sacrifice the opportunity cost to spend the time to enjoy life with him in exchange for the course??
during the nineties, Diploma is sufficient.
Fast track to twenty 1st century..... the basic requirement to obtain a decent remuneration is "Bachelor" now.
He may be recognised and supported in this current company, but if he doesn't have a paper qualification, what if he is retrenched and need to find another job?
How sure are you that his new company will place more emphasize on experience that paper qualification?
The matter will be worst if he is "promoted" to lead a team of "graduate" subordinates.... will you be happy working under someone who is "Experience" but with not proper education?
For live and career, always be forward looking. Nothing will remain stationary, in fact all things and events are changing, just how fast....
Prepare ourselves, anticipate changes and we will survive...
As a married woman, though i agree a career is imp to a married man, but somehw i feel he is a bit "over"..N i feel base on his achievemts at his age in the co, he should be contented enough..why must make my life miserable?? For me, i yearn for a simple life, life is short, n feel that i must live life to the fullest! Guess he is taking advantage of me, since we dont't have kids, so that i got no excuse for not allowing him to study. What I want is more towards a "free n easy" life after work, since most of the time we are at work, then why not have more freedom to do whatever we wish to do in life 2gether other than to study? Well, before we married, he already spent 2yrs time pursuing his 1st Master deg, after married, the 2nd one coming...dont't kw when will be the last one, think if he more or less confirm taking up the course, i should make use of this opportunity to ask him take Phd instead, then for sure no more coming next!
Tell him what you want & need frm him ---to spend more time with him.....think he is not unreasonable type to ignore your wants & needs right?
If he really insist to go then have to let him go & study, in the meantime you can do lots of things too by yourself, you can make new friends (which you have made a few here ) meet up with them for dinner or coffee? then meet your hubby after he finishes class & go home tog....or you can take up some classes like yoga, pilates, or cooking class, baking class to occupy your time, wkend when he is busy wkg on his reports can cook nice food or bake some cakes for him, think he will appreciate that a lot
Have yourself a me-time too....pamper yourself, love yourself
Yes, he is not unreasonable type to ignore me..but just need to give him a "push" or else he will just think that by staying at hme doing his co.work is all what i mean by "caring" so long I can get to see him every min every sec..without communication i mean..haha..
Yup..if he still insist to proceed his plans, I can't stop him either. Will pamper myself with other "Ladies" activities..n yes i have also made a few wonderful friends here indeed! Thks for yr sharing, appreciate that a lot!
the word ALLOW shouldn't even come into the picture that you've depicted as you guys are PARTNERS but do not own each other. Yes i agree that he's accountable to you for his actions, but he's doing something good! Somehow i feel that you are just disgruntled that he will not be spending enough time with you if he takes up this course which comes across as a bit selfish (i'm sorry if i've offended you in any way).
Just put yourself in his shoes.. How would you feel if you would like to do something (either study / learn a skill) that MAY benefit yourself and your family in the future and your husband says no just because of you wouldn't have "enough time" to spend with him on personal pleasure? I would personally be deeply offended and feel that you are absolutely not supportive at all.
Try to accept his decisions with an open heart and support him in what he feels that its right. JUst let him know that you expect to spend quality time with him at least one or 2 hours a day and he should schedule his work and study schedule around it. Ultimately you guys will be happier with less arguements.