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Is it better to move to mother in law?

This is a discussion on Is it better to move to mother in law? within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; Hi everyone, Well now I'm staying at my mum place, but till now we haveing problem with my mum coz ...

  1. #1
    Worthy Lady fifilove's Avatar
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    Oct 2012
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    Is it better to move to mother in law?

    Hi everyone,

    Well now I'm staying at my mum place, but till now we haveing problem with my mum coz we are trying to discipline my daughter. But my mum not happy about it. It's been 3 weeks my mum ignore me and my husband. The sadness thing is went my husband try to tlk to my mum she ignore him, event went he was eating saw my mum he say " mum want to join in" she ignore him. Break my heart went I see my husband crying in the room and stress.

    About my daughter.
    Well she is very rude to the ppl ( event her own parent and grandparents ) and event the way she tlk to me and my mum and dad is very rude sometimes, dont't want to listen to what we say, always want what she wants ( coz of my mum) and still drink her milk in the bottle( me and my husband try to stop but can't coz of my mum). Can say now she a spoil kid. And she is 6 years old next year is 7 year old.

    About my mum,
    My mum if she not happy about something and not happy with, she will keep it to herself and tlk to my aunts about it. She will not tlk to me or my husband about it. Or she will say out loud in angry voice at me. Like I'm in the hall and she in the room or tlk to my father in loud voice. She not happy that me and my husband scolding her went she do bad things and say bad thing or rude to older ppl. If she not happy with us, saying about us in front of my daughter. Went we scold my daughter, my mum will never say to her plz listen to your mum and dad. And went ever my mum want to bring my daughter out, she will never ask me first. Just bring my daughter out without me knowing it. And had one time my mum say it's too late to discipline my daughter. And my daughter will always sleep at my mum room and she will make my daughter a bottle of milk before she sleep. And now every time we ask my daughter out, my daughter will ask my mum first..

    If not next month we will move to the rent house, then my husband let his mum know that we had found a rent house, and going to move in soon. Then his mum keep asking why you guys want to move out. Must be something wrong, coz the house is 4 room flat. And my sis and bro in law will move out soon. Have a room for us there. And our BTO will be in 3 years. So what's wrong?.. My mum keep asking why, so we had to tell her the hold story.

    So she say to us no need to rent the house wast money on that. Then she say why not you guys and my daughter move in here and we will discipline my daughter with love. Coz his mum typ is if you do something wrong she will say it. My mum in law is a very kind person.

    So I dnt know if you were me will you move to my in laws house? What should I say to my mum?? Scare my mum dnt want us to bring my daughter move in with us And I'm 6 months pregnant but full of stress and sadness about my mum...
    Last edited by fifilove; 25-12-2012 at 11:05 PM.

  2. #2
    Moderator SarahGurbuxani-Carpio's Avatar
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    Nov 2012
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    Re: Is it better to move to mother in law?

    Hi Fifi!

    Well, this is such a sad situation. As much as possible, we always want to live harmoniously especially with our parents. But since you are already in this circumstance where living with your mom already became a problem rather than a help, well, I agree that to move out is the best way. Besides, your kid is already big enough, so you can actually do more things. Why dont't you try living alone, with just your immediate family? Living with mother-in-law would be much more complicated, in my case, as compromising is the number 1 key to work things out. But for experience's sake, you may also do so. Just be prepared. Good thing you started this thread as this will help you to make a sound decision.

    Keep well.


  3. #3
    Imperial Concubine
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    Apr 2011
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    Re: Is it better to move to mother in law?

    when i read yr tittle, in my heart is a big NO to staying with in-laws but after reading... i am not sure.. probably like what SarahGCarpio said, move out and stay with yr immediate family only. Yr in-law is good that she wanted to help but staying with in-laws will be more difficult than staying with yr parents as our brought up are so different so maybe, there will be another complication in 1-2 yrs of harmony... im saying this is bcuz i am staying with my in-laws for 5 yrs nows. our relationship is consider ok but after my son is born, things went for a down turn. it got so bad that we almost divorce. Now we told ourselves to endure another year till our flat is ready. i am not saying staying with in-laws are bad cuz there are cases where daughter in law & mother in law can get along very well but if i can turn back time, i will not want to ruin the good relationship with my in-laws, i will have bought a flat right after i got married and stay by ourselves. i believe that we have the right to discipline our kids and grandparents should not get in the way.

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