so happy for you that yr flat is ready! i am hoping mine can be ready by tmw! hee... but still got to wait till 2014...
This is a discussion on bias in law within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; I have been living with in laws cause flat is BTO. It's done finally but punggol CC are all full ...
I have been living with in laws cause flat is BTO. It's done finally but punggol CC are all full and packed so no choice we only go back on weekend. father in law quiet n mother in law talk rubbish. I m a working mother and she took care of her daughters children. She always say how lousy my hubby is and praise her son in law to the sky. She buy breakfast and different favors for him to choose when he sleep over. She say how her daughters is like an angel and cook what her grand daughter like and my son tag to eat. Cause I m remarried, they look dwn on me. Her big daughter scolded me like a shit before our marriage 5 yrs back. Say I shouldn't married into the family and they often have big arguement that's not my prob but often drag me in. Now sister In law is also prob we are not in talking terms. Proud and arrogant .Younger one is their apple of their eyes. I just feel unfair for my son cause he is their paternal grandson. Anyway I just want to vent my frustration here. I feel that I have been very nice and never shouted or talk back them. Recently I getting impatience, I think I won't be so good n nice temper to them anymore. Hubby also know that n often argue with his mum cause his mum always compare him with other sons. I suppose many of you mummies out there are more heroin than me. It's time to stand up for myself. Luckily I moving away soon. God bless!!
so happy for you that yr flat is ready! i am hoping mine can be ready by tmw! hee... but still got to wait till 2014...
i have somewhat similar situation to you, except mine is a first marriage. however the whole situation of bad sister In law (the most problematic person as she add oil to fire), follow by unloving mother in law and lastly rubbish talking father in law, is almost the same as you!
i thot i am almost in extinction to face such in laws already!
i complained a lot in forum!!! feel free to check out my complains if you right click on my name and see ' view forum post'. heee...
btw here is 1 of the post:
1. my sisinlaw will call my husband who is at work, where am I when I never or respond so slowly back to her. crazy right, she thinks i am under her mercy to listen to her order or my hubby needs to track where am i every second meh? we are adults who trust each other! further she thinks i dont need to work one meh? why she needs to know my exact location?
2. this woman will play polticis at our back and make her parents dislike me and my hubby.... i also dont't know why. the only reason i can think of is that my parents in law must be rich for her daughter to want to play this kind of politics. she scared the money pass to us? however from surface i think that my parents in law are not rich at all!!!
3. she always arrange my hubby to run errands for the parents and her parents always think she is clever when in actual fact its my hubby who runs all the shit when the parents suffer from pains only cos 'service' her children, herself and her hubby.
4. my mother inlaw is a complainer and a thift who buys cheap food.. always find the cheapest around and even there is good food she never give me. e.g. she will bypass herbal drink or tonic soup to give to her soninlaw or my hubby, so i no share in that..... but also note that my hubby is not as doted as compared to son in law or the bitch(sis in law)'s children... she also make food to the likings of the bitch's children.
my hubby gives them money every month but she prefers to spend the money on silly things than buy better food!!!!!!
then when we bring her out, she complain this expensive that expensive... sian
5. my father in law is even more trouble than motherinlaw as he is very man fan. a little thing will make him unhappy...worst than woman. also he likes to take rubbish (Really rubbish - about woman's private parts) to me. sometime i think if his brain goes wrong cos no shame to tell or talk in front of daughterinlaw such things?
these 3 people go hu ha over small little things which are so insignificant in my eyes. i just dont't know why they want to make life difficult?
Last edited by Sad 33; 05-07-2012 at 12:27 PM.
Good luck. Enjoy Reno and splurge as much as you can
I am new in this forum so dont't really know how to manage yet. Whao, you r more powerful sia. Same situation, I also thought only me facing sister In law n mother in law problem. You still in talking terms with sister In law as she will call you. Mine is not even talking. Ya, I suspect they talk bad behind me too but who cares. Best is faster move away to own nest.
But normally parent in law should dote on own grandson mah, their surname not ours. Anyway nice to find someone talking to. I often complain too but with good friends n family.. My mother in law can come my new house and feel jealous cos her relative all say is quite nicely done etc. she never utter a single nice thing at all but ask if I remember that uncles is who, y I can't even regconise how should I call him and still take ppl gifts. Madness, she have a dozen siblings n we met like once a year man. And moreover the gift is my hubby take , not me... Prob right..
So how you cope. Ignore is the best
i no longer in talking terms with sister In law cos i find her very manipulative and no respect for me. i dont't know what is in her mind to think she can command such authority on me. even hubby respect my own privacy and we mutually trust each other a lot.
i just a few causal words to her when she tries to chat with me when family gathering.
similarly i complain about the family to my mom, and my close friends... hee...but sometimes only people like us know exactly how it is. my close friends some not married, some married but with nice in laws .
from we married til now, everything is paid by my hubby and the parents gives us very little things even though they are the ones to rush us to marry. my in laws never complient how independent the both of us are. they from the day we married til now never check if we got food or clean clothes. it's not that these are important, but after these years, i find their manner of treating me not correct...so i no longer bother much about them.
further my sister In law, mother in law always want to borrow my things, from clothes to bags to jewelleries to house applicants. they always ply on what i carrying or wearing. sianz....
Oh no talk is best. I just saw yr post. Sorry about yr prob.. Anyway you must have been very down to deal with it as well as in law n sister In law rubbish. you r a string lady. Let's dont't be difficult to our son's wife next time.. Haha..
But suntimes talk is just so easy right.
yes! ultimately now NO talk is the best. in fact the mention of her name will create anger in me. this is how much i dislike my sister In law as really too many incidents that i can't bring myself to let it go so easily already.
yes in future, let's dont't be nasty to our son's wife...hee...shld i have one! )
frankly i dont know what's in the mind of my mother in law for i never misbehave at all in front of her and treat her courtesy....
but the only gem from this is only my husband...i really can't find anything else fantastic about the family after these years....heee...
glad you found the gem of the family too. and of course i hope he agrees with you in most of things you say?
Neh, depend . We are that kind of easy going friends and lovers kind of relationship. Hmm, we often argue and quarrel too. I think many of the married woman would rather stay by themselves . Meet less, conflicts lesser. I also dislike my big sister In law. She really yaya type, haolian too cause they sort of a little well to do and despise divorcee. I mean, who dont't have pasts, they dont't know us and the true real incident and say like as if I m that kind of loose woman! She beta lucky lucky stick and look well her own hubby if not one day her turn to got ditch thn I will think its retribution. I also guess sister In law bad mouth me bah, my in laws treat me and my son no beta than their daughters and grand children. We are like extras , I pity my son but what ever it is, I think I should fight back soon.
You dont't worry, think you eat more bird best and the cordycep tonic , to nourish your body first.. No hurry cause I have a few friends n relative really have baby unexpectedly.. You still have to go back to in law place for meals?? Wah , seinz right. dont't care about them is the best cause no way we are gg to get angry and fall into their traps..
yes i agree the who doesn't have past, esp people may tend to do wrong things when young and foolish.
however meeting the wrong man initially is not your fault at all. sometimes it's lao tian's doing and maybe lao tian wants to give you someone better that is your current husband and let you know what is 'treasure'? in this case you will treasure your husband more?
like you know that i just mc...a dragon baby which i tried so hard for and thot i was damn lucky to strike at the last month before it turn snake baby...but somehow the baby and i no yuan fen, so i lost it.
i just put myself into postive mode and think that it is because of this lost that i learn to treasure more. in future shld i have a baby, i will definitely know how to love more due to my past loss...
yr big sis in law, divorcee but still stay with her hubby?
my crazy sis in law is also quite well to do cos her husband earns 5figures a month and bonus is like 5-8mths those kind...but she acts like so poor . always borrow things from me in the past like i told you. she dont't even dress up and carries very basic bag and no wear good shoes too. i think she super jealous of me that is why she wants to manipulative our relationship with the parents cos she can't bear to part with her money but i dare to. haa...
yes no matter what, you shld protect your son if it is really unfair situation that cos him to be bullied on. else he will be very pityful too....
does taking more birds nest really help in conceiving? any experience?
in fact i have been taking birds nest concentrates after this mc on and off..
also any cordycep tonic you recommend too?
yes...so sianz, i have to go back to inlaws place for dinners. :P i already try to minimize but my father in law will say my husband why i never come and say i shld come. as if they love me to bits. :P i also dont know go there for what. haaa...the food cook not to my liking and the talk makes me feel so distant at times. i am in my acting mode when i am there. doing it just for hubby only. :P
how many times you have to meet your in laws a month?
I sway , my new place us ready in punggol but somehow the childcare is full and no slot available. I tried all CC for your info so no choice, stay in punggol over weekends and weekday with mother in law. Big sister In law dont't stay with us but nearby, last time before she quit her job, her children taken care by mother in law. Luckily now dont't see her often but I will never forget how she scream at me, I will bring that into coffin. Haha
Young sister In law is their precious, just given birth to another baby. She ok but parent in law too bias. good things everything also her, bad thing happen all is me n my son. Faint!
about the cordycep tonic. you buy little bit is like few hundreds dollars. Put 3-5 strands n a lean meat to boil. Add some salt to taste. about 2hrs.. you ask the physician the exact water level. They will reach you. Very nice soup n easy. Slow cooker .
Bird nest and xue ge.. The white fungus I think, cook desert n eat frequently. It's in a nutritious food , good for skin and conceiving. My friend tried, a few of their sister and some of them conceive after 7yrs . But all didn't expected it. Most go holiday a few times, they really happy about it. Thn drink more warm water, sumtimes cause body too cold and we can't carry it strong enuff.
Yr sister In law really kns . 5 digit her hubby earn and still act poor. Madness. dont't borrow her . I dont't want to eat hm with thm cause mother in law always talk those things I dislike to hear but must pretend I m fine about it. Sainz .