nessa: I'm terribly sorry to hear this..
I dont't have a great relationship with my parents either, especially my mum, as she - ok I'm going to be quite mean but frank - she is just not a very nice person. she, like your mum, also criticises me. but at least I know my mum does it out of concern. but a very mean way of showing it. she just criticses whatever (almost everything) I do, and tell me what to do (which is utter rubbish). I just ignore her, and I would snap back at her too, though now I try not to, and tell her, "mum, I know what your'e telling me, but I won't do it, because... etc " I will explain to her now.
if your parents make you so unhappy, why not just distance yourself from them? I know it's sad and not nice to use your children as a 'weapon' against your parents, but I think in this case it seems justified as they seem so mean to you! I'm of the camp that, if somebody - no matter who - family or friends - make me unhappy, I just won't hang out with them. I will limit the time spent with them.
all the best
and burping - yes I take more than 30 mins sometimes!! cos my baby has bad reflux/gas.
we are all mothers - and all new mothers one time or other. go by your gut feeling. ignore what your mum say. and just dont't ever be like your mum to your kids I vow never to!!