Our Mobile App: iPhone · Android

  • You are trying to conceive?
  • You have pregnancy questions?
  • How do you know whether your baby's teething or has a cold?
  • You have Family, home & financial issues?

...Then you have come to the right place!
we will try to help you with your problem.

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 31

Does your dear husband give you money every month?

This is a discussion on Does your dear husband give you money every month? within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; Just curious to know whether your dear husband gives you money every month for you or household expenses. For my case, ...

  1. #1
    Female Attendant
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    breast milk
    Posts
    24
    Rep Power
    0

    Unhappy Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    Just curious to know whether your dear husband gives you money every month for you or household expenses. For my case, my dear husband only gives occasionally, so practically I am the one who pays everything and support 2 children plus his parents. My dear husband earns double than me but it is just so diff to ask money from him. I just feel that as a man, he has to be responsible towards the family. It's very diff for me to save as I have to support this family. Is it a norm or I just being too calculative?

  2. #2
    Consort-in-Ordinary NuR_iRfAn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    QuEenS rD
    Posts
    2,229
    Rep Power
    8

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    For me,dear husband will give me every month for me & baby...
    although he give me money,expenses like marketing n shopping will be on him...
    Men should be more responsible as he is the men of the house ...
    i think you not calculative bt your hubby being unfair to you as he earn double

  3. #3
    Virtusous Consort
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Lionpura
    Posts
    5,803
    Rep Power
    13

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    I think for this matter, you need to have an open discussion with him. I believe you are in the situation i-expect-this-he-assumes-that. That's neva gonna work.

    One of the causes of couple breakups is over $$. So IMHO, you should tell him what you expect from him, what he has to contribute and what you will contribute, etc Listen to what he has to say and iron out all complications before it gets bigger. List things down if you have to so that he does not need to act like a 'blur king' again. Put it up somewhere that is visible for him to see. (Ya know, some MEN can be so good pretending to be 'Visually-handicapped')


    Happygolucky, you are beyond calculative. That's called RESPONSIBLE wife and a thinking partner. You go gal!

  4. #4
    Imperial Concubine wenz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    West
    Posts
    814
    Rep Power
    6

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    i think you should ask your hubby to help out in supporting your family cos this family belongs to both of you... not you only...

    my hubby give me monthly allowance and on top of that he pays for my gal's nanny fee, my hp bills etc... i'll be paying for the occasional grocery and other mini minor things and do savings as well...

    i dont think you r being calculative... if he's earning double and not giving you or helping out in the family, then where his $$ gone to????

  5. #5
    Worthy Lady
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Woodlands
    Posts
    202
    Rep Power
    7

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    My hubby covers the household and baby expenses... and I am working so to be fair, I never ask him to give me money.. although he pushes money or buy things for me now and then...

    But I heard from my ex-colleague that it's better for husbands to give allowances/money to their wives as this will form part of the husband's habits... in the even the wife gets pregnant and needs to stop working, the husband will not grumble so much about having to give money to the wife .. what you think?

  6. #6
    Imperial Concubine wenz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    West
    Posts
    814
    Rep Power
    6

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    Quote Originally Posted by daberdew View Post
    My hubby covers the household and baby expenses... and I am working so to be fair, I never ask him to give me money.. although he pushes money or buy things for me now and then...

    But I heard from my ex-colleague that it's better for husbands to give allowances/money to their wives as this will form part of the husband's habits... in the even the wife gets pregnant and needs to stop working, the husband will not grumble so much about having to give money to the wife .. what you think?

    Ya should make it a habit for the hubby ... totally agreed! haha
    nevermind the amount as long as he's giving allowance to the wife, then the wife can save up the money for rainy days...

    my mum always say once guys got $$ they'll fool around... i dont know how true but this do make senses for some ppl...

  7. #7
    Pure Consort autumn82's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    12,422
    Rep Power
    21

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    I dont't think that it is a norm to not contribution $$ if he's earning double. Then where all his $$ gone too?? you should have a talk to him seriously. When guys have too much $$ on hand, they tend to be funny as well...

    My dear husband has been paying for everything after I stopped working. On top of that, he gives me monthly allowance for my personal use and that excludes household allowance. Even when I was working with dear daughter @ nanny's place, he will pay for everything. Only small sums of money then I'll fork out.

  8. #8
    Moderator CanCanMum's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    18,884
    Rep Power
    26

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    Quote Originally Posted by happygolucky View Post
    Just curious to know whether your dear husband gives you money every month for you or household expenses. For my case, my dear husband only gives occasionally, so practically I am the one who pays everything and support 2 children plus his parents. My dear husband earns double than me but it is just so diff to ask money from him. I just feel that as a man, he has to be responsible towards the family. It's very diff for me to save as I have to support this family. Is it a norm or I just being too calculative?
    you should work out a schedule with your hubby. Who pays for what. Responsibilities of a family must be shared by both parties. It doesn't matter who earns more, eventually both are responsible for sharing the monetary issues. Like you give his parents, you also need to give your own parents too...maybe sound out to him that you are paying for everything and not saving a single cent....perhaps he thinks that since you are working it is not required to give you money coz both are working, unless you r stay at home mum...but sound out to him that "money is not enough"

    so talk to him to work it out. And at least you know his difficulties. Is he paying for other things or what? Like car or house using cash??? Or simply not contribution the excess?

  9. #9
    Worthy Lady
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Woodlands
    Posts
    202
    Rep Power
    7

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    Quote Originally Posted by wenz View Post
    Ya should make it a habit for the hubby ... totally agreed! haha
    nevermind the amount as long as he's giving allowance to the wife, then the wife can save up the money for rainy days...

    my mum always say once guys got $$ they'll fool around... i dont know how true but this do make senses for some ppl...
    Hmmm... will consider getting my hubby to give me a token allowance to cultivate a habit...

  10. #10
    Imperial Concubine January84's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Bukit Panjang
    Posts
    1,789
    Rep Power
    7

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    for my case,

    I only pay for my items like insurance, HP bill, transportation and meals (exclude dinner) during working days.

    dear husband pay for everything like house/child insurances, mother in law allowance, maid, car, geocey, weekend outings, etc. . .

    cos he is earning more than me, and this was practiced since our dating time.

    Other then part of my $ goes into our joint acc, he is basically paying for everything.

  11. #11
    Imperial Concubine shopaholic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    557
    Rep Power
    7

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    We dont give each other money. He's responsible for paying the big ticket items such as car and his parent's allowance. For me, I take care of the insurance, shopping and children's bills such as enrichment fees. Thereafter, we pool our money together and will set aside a sum for savings. We are very transparent with each other on where our money goes to and we have access to each other's accts.

    I dont think you're calculative as both partners have to be responsible for the household expenses. If he's not contributing to pay for them, then he should let you know where his money goes to.
    full time working mum with 3 kids (8yo, 6yo and a toddler born in Oct 2009)

  12. #12
    Female Attendant
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    west
    Posts
    0
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    does dear husband mean hubby?

    my hubby dont give me $ all e while..thou he earn more than me.. in e past i hav 2 spilt e bill with him n pay those instalment while he pay for car stuff..

    then sub i realise i so broke.. my friends told me not rite..

    so after discussing.. now he pay for all bills, did not give me $ but its k.. then we share e groceries bills beta i tink... at least now i got $ 2 spend on myself...

  13. #13
    Female Attendant
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    breast milk
    Posts
    24
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    Thank you for all the advices.
    Actually, I have already talked to my dear husband many many times. He said that since I am working then just use my money and his is for savings. He said it's all the same, at the end it's our savings. I have to keep nagging at him then he will give me a bit. Most of the times he just keeps quiet, makes me feel very irritated. Sometimes I think of divorcing him, but think about it again, it's not easy. Plan to cut his parents allowance, but again, it's not fair if old people get the suffering of this problem. I really dont't know how to solve it. Really give up.

  14. #14
    Worthy Lady
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    37
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    Quote Originally Posted by happygolucky View Post
    Thank you for all the advices.
    Actually, I have already talked to my dear husband many many times. He said that since I am working then just use my money and his is for savings. He said it's all the same, at the end it's our savings. I have to keep nagging at him then he will give me a bit. Most of the times he just keeps quiet, makes me feel very irritated. Sometimes I think of divorcing him, but think about it again, it's not easy. Plan to cut his parents allowance, but again, it's not fair if old people get the suffering of this problem. I really dont't know how to solve it. Really give up.
    Hey... It is not fair. I always heard that it is the hubby who spends his $ while the wife saves her. Does he really saves his $$? ANd how come you have to even help him to give his parent $$? Isn't his parents his responsiblities? For my case, I take care of my own family and hubby takes care of his. Then for our own household expenses, mostly are paid by him.

  15. #15
    Female Attendant
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    breast milk
    Posts
    24
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    Yes, it's unfair. That's why I am so angry. But if I dont't give his parents $$ then who will give? How will his parents survive? I give them because they stay with me (and in fact, it is another set of problem (staying with in-laws) but really no choice as other children of his parents really dont't care). My dear husband already set how much his parents get from us. I dont't say my dear husband doesn't give at all, occasionally he gives, after much complain (he said nagging) from me. What I want that he gives me voluntarily without me asking him. I am so tired asking money from him.
    I never give my parents money as my parents have enough and they know my situation. I feel like dead end. No way out, because I have already tried many ways to get the money from him from soft approach to the hard one like nagging. But most of times, he just kept quiet.
    Any suggestions?

  16. #16
    Pure Consort autumn82's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    12,422
    Rep Power
    21

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    Quote Originally Posted by happygolucky View Post
    Yes, it's unfair. That's why I am so angry. But if I dont't give his parents $$ then who will give? How will his parents survive? I give them because they stay with me (and in fact, it is another set of problem (staying with in-laws) but really no choice as other children of his parents really dont't care). My dear husband already set how much his parents get from us. I dont't say my dear husband doesn't give at all, occasionally he gives, after much complain (he said nagging) from me. What I want that he gives me voluntarily without me asking him. I am so tired asking money from him.
    I never give my parents money as my parents have enough and they know my situation. I feel like dead end. No way out, because I have already tried many ways to get the money from him from soft approach to the hard one like nagging. But most of times, he just kept quiet.
    Any suggestions?
    He saves in your joint acct or just his personal acct? Any ways to verify that he REALLy saves it? If you need, can you use the $$? If not, time to check it out darling.

    Actually, since you oredi tried so many ways of getting $$ from him but failed. Y not stopped paying for some stuffs, like his parents allowance, his mobile bills. When he asked y, just simply tell him, "I already told you, you have to be responsible to pay for some stuffs. I need $$ to pay stuffs for myself as well So I dont't have enuff for your parents/your bills."


  17. #17
    Female Attendant
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    breast milk
    Posts
    24
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    He did show me his bank books. But frankly, I do not know what he spends. At beginning we open joint accounts but after that we never touch it as he never bother to put some money in it so I also dont't bother to put some.
    Yes beginning I plan to cut his parents allowances but like what I said earlier I think it is not fair to drag his parents into this problem. And if his parents complain to him, then we will quarrel. And I am scared of retribution.
    Last time I also think of not paying his hp bill or credit card but if there is interest charge then it will be worse for me right?
    I told him that I give him an honour as a man to support the family, but as usual he just kept quiet. I said it looks like he works for himself only, and never thinks about his wife and children. That's why sometimes I wake up at night and think whether I should ask for divorce. I cannot divorce according to my religion. Really headache. Why some men just cannot part with their money?

  18. #18
    Pure Consort autumn82's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    12,422
    Rep Power
    21

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    Credit card bill you also paying?! Omg.. Then last solution: Just sit down and ask him for $$ or his atm card, tell him you need to pay for the bills after paying bills will return him his card. If he ask you to pay using your $$, tell him you dont't have enuff to pay for it.

    If he doesn't want to give you, then just tell him that you will leave it as it is coz you dont't have enuff to pay for it. Any interest occur, not your problem. Sometimes, men just wanna test our patience.

    It's always good to keep some savings on our side, coz no one knows the future. Especially when you have the "D" in your mind now..

    It's not rite to not pay for everything, or even his own parents allowance. Share is fine but not like your case. Isn't it fair to tell your partner what your spendings r like? sigh. *huggieS*


  19. #19
    Moderator CanCanMum's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    18,884
    Rep Power
    26

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    is it he spend it on betting TOTO or 4D???? my friends hubby used to gamble like crazy....$1k on those.....

  20. #20
    Female Attendant
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    breast milk
    Posts
    24
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    No toto or 4D hahaha. I know he does not like to gamble. I tried before to get his atm, but after sometimes he is so angry with me because he said he does not have atm to pay for his expenses, at the end I return it to him. Anyway, his atm does not have much money inside. His saving is in the other bank. He said he put aside for our savings and he shows to me once a while. I am really confused. Maybe I am just too greedy want to get all his money? He said it's all the same whether my money or his, so doesn't matter who pays, at the end of it, it is our money. I tried before not to pay the credit card but when the bill came it made me scared..the interest is so huge.. not worth to pay the interest. For him, he just doesn't care whether I pay or do not pay, so at the end of it, I will suffer more becoz have to pay more. And I do not like to owe ppl money.

  21. #21
    Imperial Concubine SH74's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    West
    Posts
    874
    Rep Power
    7

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    all the while, my hubby usu pay for almost everything.

    but now got house already, have to sit down n talk about who to take care of what. have to do my part also.

    my plan is to open a joint acct n we both put a % of our salary into it monthly.

  22. #22
    Pure Consort autumn82's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    12,422
    Rep Power
    21

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    So his savings at other bank, does he have an atm card for that acct? Yes, I agree guys like to say, my money or your money eventually will be ours mah. But what if there are exceptions? *Touchwood* If any case, need a "D"? Then his savings will be his and not OURS oredi rite? Maybe I think too much but for me, better be safe than sorry. LOL.

    The cardholder is you or him? He's weird. Y not you be the one saving and he be the one paying instead? Since he is earning more than you, ask him for a sum of $$ monthly then you save in the bank . LOL. Must change roles once in a while mah.. Haha.


  23. #23
    Female Attendant
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    breast milk
    Posts
    24
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    What is D actually?

  24. #24
    Female Attendant
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    breast milk
    Posts
    24
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    dear husband is dear husband but what is the other D? Sorry dont't really understand as I just join this forum.

  25. #25
    Pure Consort autumn82's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    12,422
    Rep Power
    21

    Re: Does your dear husband give you money every month?

    LOL. Paiseh.. Divorce. LOL. Coz you said you thought of it but can't coz of religion.....

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. how much money do you give your parents monthly?
    By spoonie in forum Full Time Working Mum Club
    Replies: 49
    Last Post: 26-01-2014, 04:16 PM
  2. how much money do your give your mom/dad?
    By decoco in forum Home Life, Relationships & Finance
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 10-01-2011, 09:26 AM
  3. Which month to give solid food?
    By kerinong in forum Newborn Baby and Infant Care (up to 12 months old)
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 22-07-2010, 12:10 PM
  4. what to give for baby first month?
    By asl_6886 in forum General Parenting Discussion
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 13-05-2009, 06:09 PM
  5. what solid food should i give to an 8 month old infant?
    By yee1979 in forum Newborn Baby and Infant Care (up to 12 months old)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 30-07-2008, 08:43 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Connect With Us

facebook twitter rss

MummySG Facebook Group

Loading...
All times are GMT +8. The time now is 03:57 AM.