1. Why did you choose him?
2. What made you marry him?
3. How did you expect him to contribute? Was it stately clearly before you married?
4. In what aspects do you expect him to contribute more?
5. Since you do not trust your hubs to make decisions, would you trust him to teach your girl?
Sorry but you did not state clearly so I'm not very sure.
You say that he's giving you 80% of his pay for household expenses, then you top up when not enough?
So your expectation of your husband is to contribute 100% of all the household expenses?
If yes, then please plan within his salary. No enrichment if can't afford. No restaurant trips if can't afford.
If no, then why are you upset about topping up? You are enjoying what is being paid for too, right?
"husband has no hobby; no entertainment, no drink, no smoke and no night outing with friends."
My hubs is like that too, and I love him for that. No unnecessary spending! No unhealthy habits! You have no idea how much money my hub's 'friends' spend on ciggies and drinks. Monthly at least $500 on 'entertainment'!!!
"Everyday, in order to have a decent meal with husband, i have to struggle with hunger since he got home at 745pm. Many times, I gave up and eat dinner without waiting for husband."
Does he know that you are waiting? What time does he normally get off work?
My hub's work timing is not fixed, sometimes very busy, sometimes very slack.
If he's not able to reach home in time, he always tells me to eat first but I will still SMS him to double check if he's almost reaching, I wait. If not, I eat to not feel hungry first, then eat again with him when he's back. Sometimes I feel very hungry, I eat first. When he's back, I sit with him at dining table while he eat. It's still quality time!
Do you expect to eat with him at every meal? Then have a later lunch or have a tea break so you won't be hungry!
"husband always say that he has a job and has to work, never show concern and play active role to take care of this family."
Sorry to say, but the impression you've given me is that you seem like you want him to provide in terms of monetary value to the family, so he thinks that that is what is expected so he's just following your 'expectations'.
Also, how he acts as a father pretty much depends on how he was brought up also. What did his father do? Did his father play a fatherly role in his life?
For my hubs, he was taken care of by his granny, not much 'fatherly love' seen. So he does not know "how to be a father". I had to show him and teach him slowly. Tell him what to do, give him opportunities. You can become a father overnight, but you can't learn how to be a father overnight!
My hubs was a little like your hubs too.
I sat him down and told him nicely.
1. I am also human, I also will get tired from work and juggling the family.
2. It's nice if he could help (GIVE HIM DETAILED TO-DO LIST).
3. After work I'm tired, instead of computer, can he show me some attention? (He will spend 15 minutes massaging me every night without fail, even if I'm asleep, he'll still massage)
4. Money we will share the burden, but he must share the emotional and physical burden (fetch son to class, play with him, make sure he finish his homework, etc)
5. I'm his wife, not sex toy. Want sex, then show some contribution.
Right now, if you are feeling 'tired' and 'sick' of him, pls, go for marriage counselling.
It will help to set expectations on track and you will discover that your hubs can be the father that you expect him to be.