This is a discussion on how to talk to mother in law nicely without within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; my mum offered her help to take care of my baby when im back to work, initally mother in law offered to ...
my mum offered her help to take care of my baby when im back to work, initally mother in law offered to help cos to her, is her son's baby & die die must let her take care but now shes taking care of 2 young kids(her 2nd son's kids). me & my mum felt that mother in law cant cope & worst if 1 sick all sick. i cant rely on hubby to talk to his mum cos i know he sure dont know what to do(as in dont know how to tel his mum) & brush this problem away.
my mum & some friends advise me to talk to mother in law myself.
but how shall i go about without offending her or let her misunderstood?
Agree, you can't stop mother in law from being upset or angry.
First make sure your husband agrees that it's best for your mother to look after your baby rather than his mother. If he does not agree before you talk to her then you may have an even bigger problem, and he is trying to keep both wife and mother happy. After he agrees then go talk to mother in law.
usually if it's paternal grandchildren, the - sure die die want to take care one...... they dont care if they can handle or not coz to them, they feel they have been thru so they CAN! if you dont let her take care n shld anything happen (touchwood!) to your child during your mum's care, your mother in law sure got alot to say one............ if you really feel your mum is a must better choice (which i tink it is!), make sure you let your hubby noes n he must also stand on your side then find a day, both you n dear husband talk together to your mother in law. dont let your dear husband talk to your mother in law else she might tink it's totally your idea n you dare not tell her about it.. good luck!
my hubby agreed to let my mum take care of baby. my mum had talked to my hubby & he understands that due to his mum taking care of his bro's 2kids, his mum cant cope. & my mum also highlight to hubby that because of this issue, im always very worried that mother in law will neglect baby.(but my mum knows its bcos of other reasons). she told my hubby to talk to his mum.
mother in law ever mentioned for internal grandchild, external grandparents have no right to interfer. i hear quite piss. y she so old fashion! my mum is doing her a big favor to take care of baby. anywae since my hubby had agreed to let my mum take care, i dont care whether mother in law make noise anot.
when we were at mother in law house yesterday, i reminded hubby twice to inform his mum about this thing but he did not mention. i feel that he dare not tel her.
my mum also say like that.... last time, i ever asked my mum to help me look after my kids so that i can return to the workforce but she said scare my mother in law will b unhappy then will go tell those aunties tis that .....later more problems between mother in law n me.. coz she said usually, unless the paternal grandparents do not want to take care of the grandchildren then the maternal grandparents will step in.......what a thinking!!
to mother in law, im just a baby making machine & outsider. as long as i can provide grandson to carry on their family name, whether i die or not they dont care.
this, i ever hightlight to my hubby. i told him his mum thinking is like that cos she is so old fashion.
to me, i feel that the baby belongs to dear husband n myself, so we shld have the final say where the baby's concerned. so it wld be a matter of INFORMING her that our baby wld be taken care of by my mum (i.e. it's a decision alrdy made, not asking for her opinion), since she's also caring for 2 other kids. young baby very demanding to take care somemore. it might not sound nice or your mother in law might be offended but i feel baby's needs shld come 1st.
maybe you could broach the subject with your mother in law when your dear husband's around so that he cannot "duck away" :P
and asking your hubby to talk to her alone might not be very good also.. i think both of you be present will be better... hehe...
if me eh, i will say to my hubby in front of mother in law "i thought you got something want to inform mother??"
i agree with serenelm.
i think you shld just inform her of the decision you made since it is your child n that you wants wats best for him/her.