This is a discussion on how to tell kid about it within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; Originally Posted by Mummy :) Hehehe I am not making you scare but I suppose you know that going through ...
Pardon me, my views are totally opp of most MTB or mothers here. If there is no 3rd party, why is there a need to divorce? Did he physically or mentally or verbally abuse you?
During my 1st year of marriage, the whole are/s was on the rock, but I know I cant divorce becos none of us commit affair or even physically assaulting anyone. Whenever I feel very sad, I just tell myself marriage is for better or worse. Its not a joke nor a game.
And you are divorcing your husband just becos he is not doing his part like what? Go womanising, gambling using your $$? My dad was a complete MCP, he never help out in taking care of us since young, my mom was the one who took care of the 4 of us. Buying diapers and milk powder, I dont even think that my dad know what brand we use...... My dad dont even know our birthday..... Only this year I were making noise about getting a LV for bday pressie, then he got all of us pressie.
Last but not least your son is the victim of this failed marriage.
Last edited by Ashbaby; 18-08-2009 at 05:19 PM.
Whatever decision you have made has already been made so dont't look back. Move on for your SON. dont't worried if your son will hate you or not. You will just need to prepare him about your separation with your husband and also to make him understand why you and his daddy are going on a separate way. Treat and respect your son like an individual. They may not seem to understand but they definitely can feel your unhappiness.
My bro and his ex wife went on separate way when my niece was less than 6 yrs old. They have been fight and quarrelling since she was 4 or 5 yrs and later they decided to go a separate way. When we talked to our niece and trying to explain to her, she actually understand and she told us, isn't that great that they won't fight anymore... This actually surprise all of us... Anyway, like you, they both lost their feelings for each other, they also went to see a counsellor but end up they realise they actually can't live with each other. The more they argue and fight, the more the child suffered.
What ultimately you want is your son growing happily, just explain to him and make him understand that both parents actually still love him.
Who knows one day you and your husband may patch things up again? My friend actually divorce her husband but patch things back after few yrs later with her husband. Her husband also change to be a better person.
Last edited by Jan; 19-08-2009 at 08:48 AM.
may i ask, r you a working mummy? if yes, who helps to take care of your child when you r working? for my case, if i divorce with my hubby, my children will be under the care of my mother in law which i strongly object but no choice..... coz hubby need to work so definitely he will ask his mum to take care of them.. how? how? how? i already dont like my mother in law and cant stand the thought of having her to take care of my kids....my son is not very close to me..he prefer his dad... i asked my son if he wants to stay and sleep with his grandma (my mother in law), he says he wants to come home and sleep.. my daughter is much closer to me and cries whenever i told her, papa and i are not together anymore... i also cant bring them to my mum's place coz they r schooling here. ive checked with the school near my mum's place n they have no vacancy.. although my mum noes but my dad doesnt... im not sure how he will take it... some old folks feel that divorce is a shameful thing...
btw, does your hubby still pay for the bills, conservancy fees, household expenses n give you any allowances?
in law issue.. you should let them know your conern about watching tv all this.. i will voice out anything that they do i not happy.. and so now hey follow my way.. my in law also like want to by over my son.. but dont worry kids will always be closer to mummy as long as they feel the love from you..
hi Bao dearie..
you mean you sell half of your house ownership to your hubby or since beginning you dont own any ownership???if he buy over your share, he has to rtn watever CPF you used in your CPF for this house.
1st place, why do you want to sell to him?you may as well wait until 5 yrs when it is due to sell,then sell to open market at a better price. with the profit,you can use to support your son or use it to buy 3 rm.
i have no ability to support the house.. my pay is not enough and all the bills..
i also got talk to him that i want the flat then i can sell after 5 yr for my son.. but he got tell me.. i will be very hard to feed myself and my son if i take the house and drag..
i strongly feel you shldnt sell your house to him.what he is doing now is to his benefit.i would advise you to consult your parents or your lawyer rgds to this issue. you mean you hve to top up $ for your contribution to house or you cpf is sufficient to support?if enuff,i tink you shld keep your share and sell it to open mkt after 5year.it is definately to you and your son benefit.gve a serious thought to it.