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Hubby sedentary lifestyle, regretting hiring part time maid

This is a discussion on Hubby sedentary lifestyle, regretting hiring part time maid within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; I'm a first time mum to a 4 month old. We are weekend parents, i.e. we bring baby back only ...

  1. #1
    Female Attendant
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    Hubby sedentary lifestyle, regretting hiring part time maid

    I'm a first time mum to a 4 month old. We are weekend parents, i.e. we bring baby back only during weekends, while baby stay with mother in law during weekdays. Before baby was born, we used to do our own housework. After baby born, and my hubby's recent career change, we got very stress with the housework.

    Before be was born, I was full time working, after work need to help mother in law with the dishes n came back my own house n do laundry every other day while he do the sweeping, vacuum n toilet once a week. Though I wasnt happy with the fact that the chores were not equally distributed, I tolerated it. After by was born, where I need to take care of her in my mother in law place in the day time, sometimes extending to night time. When I return home, still got to wash clothes, fold them, iron them. Thus got frustrated when hubby didn't help n just lie on the bed watching tv while I am folding his clothes right in front of him.

    When I start my complain n nagging, he would just brush it off by saying "so difficult, then hire maid lohz". Thus, we recently engaged a part time maid that comes weekly charging hourly rate of 12 bucks. She would normally spend 6-7 hours a week. Would say she did a rather clean job, but sometimes doing redundant stuff like ironing dry fit clothes n folding underwear. She even ironed a set of my Pyramus, which I thought was rather ridiculous. Why should I pay for so many hours when all these are not necessary.

    Thus, sometimes wondering if it's a bad choice to succumb to hiring a maid. Wasn't keen for the idea initially as I'm afraid I would get lazy n dependent on maid gradually. Also, I thought doing housework somewhat keeps my active since I dont even have time to do exercise.

    Recently, hubby was admitted to the hospital due to chest pain. Was afraid he is having heart attack at a young age of 31 but thank god, they found nothing related to the heart. After all the test done, he cleared them n the only thing was not satisfactory was his cholesterol level n super high BMI. They advised him to cut his weight.

    Today, he sat in front of the tv n became a crouch potato again. He was looking in the kitchen for tidbits to munch. I was really angry as I worry for his health. Really wondering n regretting hiring the maid. Since he cannot control his diet, at least sweat a bit by vacuuming the floor right? sigh... dont know how to communicate with him. He always get angry when I nag him to do such things. When he dont do, I get upset n he got more angry with me. Sian.... Why are man like that....

  2. #2
    Worthy Lady
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    Re: Hubby sedentary lifestyle, regretting hiring part time maid

    Hi Celz,

    Relax. Your hubby is exactly same as mine; like to laze around, watch TV and eat tidbits.
    I'm also a first time mom to 4 mnths old baby girl and a working mom as well. I understand that it is really tiring for us to do house chores after came back from office.
    Last time, i like to stay very neat and tidy. I dont't like the mess in the house. Now, I've to ignore some of the mess created by my hubby as I also have no time to clean up everyday.

    I also used to nag to him this and that.. But it could only turn out to a quarrel rather than getting help. So now, i just keep quiet and do whatever I can do and leave some house chores to the weekend when I have more time.

    And if he is free on the weekend, then I'll ask him to help around such as laundry and mopping and telling him that he can watch his TV afterwards.

    My mom used to say that dont't compare who do what in the family. Just do what you can do. The more you complains the more unhappy you and your hubby. That is not good for the kid to see unhappy mom and dad at home..

    So now, I not only close one eye but both eyes. Of course, sometimes I still nag.. But once the hubby knows how tired are we, I am sure they will help a little. dont't expect too much from them though.. The more we expect, the more we are unsatisfied. haha.. Just Thank God that he is working and earning well to provide the necessities. Compare to those husband and father with jobless, do gambling, having affair outside and abuse wife, they are still much better .. lol

  3. #3
    Moderator SarahGurbuxani-Carpio's Avatar
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    Nov 2012
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    Re: Hubby sedentary lifestyle, regretting hiring part time maid

    Hi Celz!

    One thing, avoid nagging and imposing him what to do. If you are demanding for an equal distribution of chores at home, the same thing goes with the "distribution" of rights. Noone will follow if there is always someone forcing them to do things. You amy consider sitting down and talking WITH your husband like a consenting adult. He will definitely understand. Instead of telling, i dont't like this, tell him the things that he does THAT you like.

    Regarding the maid, well, if you think that hiring a maid does more harm than benefits, better to trash it. That's the main purpose of hiring a maid anyway.

    Good luck with your husband's health. Hope the two of you arrive at an arrangement that will be beneficial for your whole family.

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