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  • 2 Post By Edy

I hope you'll understand

This is a discussion on I hope you'll understand within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; 3 months ago, i was told that i will be a father. This moment of my life, is called 'happiness' ...

  1. #1
    Worthy Lady
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Serangoon Garden
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    I hope you'll understand

    3 months ago, i was told that i will be a father. This moment of my life, is called 'happiness' , no i guess it happen when i met her.

    This lady i met was a dirvorcee with a child.

    I went ahead with the courtship despite numerous sacarstic and mocking remarks from my social circle of friends, strong disapproval from my family, i bear with all comments and even behavior from some who i deem as close friend.

    The start of a relationship always is what we called 'honey moon'. We went out enjoyin the company of each other, and the once a while sweet little surprises we 'created' for each other. Leave everything to the back of our mind and just really enjoy the love spreading between both of us.

    The first problem arise when i started to harp on her past, this lasted for a month.

    Soon i find myself losing myself once i landed my first slap on her cheek, the pain thereafter was undescribable.

    I soon 'adjusted' myself to stop such action and stop holding onto her past..

    Then the good news that i would be a father.

    Never expect i would be sitting behind the screen posting and looking at this forum everyday to prepare for the arrival of my little gift, guess happiness never last long enough to even catch a glimps of it.

    Every night without fail, i would bring her out for supper , every day without fail, i would end work and rush home to be by her side, even since we got together. I stopped my favorite fishing hobby to be with her, i stop meeting my friends and reject all collegueas invitations to be by her side.

    Two incident- one which was i message my ex girlfriend out of anger while we are quarreling ( just to get her on fire) and the other girl who is interested in me . Despite all this messages, i never once went out with them or even have a cup of coffee together. it's just purely messages.

    She show her unhappiness but sometimes i just reply for the sake of replying, not having any other intentions.

    I told her many times that they were just messages and i only love her till today but yet she insist that my heart contains some other lady .

    I felt so devastated, all this happen always when i'm at work. i have to juggle between work and personal life ensuring that it's not affecting me at work.

    I dont't have enough rest and i appear so restless at work.

    Now that we quarrel she expect me to always give in and she's always not forgetting the messaging incident.

    I dont't get it when physically at the end of the day, i was always by her side i dont't even have time alone to be outside , i did all this hope that she understand it's my way of assurance to her.

    Recently the arguements get really often and i'm really finding myself getting tire of all this nonsesnse

    I really dont't know what to do.

    I do love her, very much infact , i dont't splurge on myself and i spent everything on her. i wake up every morning to work and put bread on the table for her and the child. i gave her the best of everything and endure on my part.

    She now doubt my love, and she no longer see the facts anymore.

    Is it time to let go? or her love just isn't here anymore?


    To this beautiful lady of mine,

    I know you visit this forum long ago but if you chance upon this i hope you know that i always love you , despite my wrong-doings, it never was my intention to flirt or be with any of them. The start of our journey was a rough one, i hope you remember that it isn't easy to take us to who we have evolve. This little baby is a child from heaven. Your the lady i have always love . despite little support from our parents, i really did the very best i can to make everything work. A rollercoaster ride goes up and down, i hope at the very end of the ride, we would be there together to enjoy the thrill and experience and carrying on the next ride of our life. I love you still , and i always did.

    It's just you.
    Last edited by Jamesbond; 03-07-2012 at 09:09 PM.

  2. #2
    Worthy Lady
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    West side of Singapore
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    I hope you'll understand

    I dont't mean to be nosey and you're a sweet guy and all...but is it possible she never forgot the slap you delivered? As a woman I know that we bear grudges haha (I sure do. I still remember all the hurtful things my boyfriend said in a fit of anger, and I do admit I get upset whenever I remember them.)
    dont't give up now. This is when she needs you the most . Pregnant women have terrible mood swings. My boyfriend can emphasize with you. It'll all be over soon, trust me. If you let go now, it's not fair your child will grow up w/o a dad right ? :O
    Alyssa - 19May2012

  3. #3
    Edy is offline
    Administrator Edy's Avatar
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    Jul 2007
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    Re: I hope you'll understand

    never hit a woman

  4. #4
    Worthy Lady
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    I hope you'll understand

    Hmm.. I'm a divorcee and remarried with a son as well. Same thing, I have an older son. We have prob last time too with his family. His sis mock at me, look dwn on me and even call me names before we married in few days that time. It takes alot of courage and face the prob. I was preggie too that time, I didn't have much support except for my sister. The past is the past which you can't be in it but now both of you alrdy have a fruits in her, you can be in their future, to make a beautiful life of your own. Do not brood about the past cos we r never to go back again. It's really moody and pte natal depress sometimes when pregnant. Spend time on her, talk to her and plan the future. you planning to marry her?? It takes both hands to clap... Now our son is 3 plus, we bought a flat. Despite his family dislike me but we pull thru together. If can talk thn talk if cant thn sorry, just leave n keep quiet cos the ones who is gg to spend another 50 yrs of yr life, is yr dear and yr children... Cheers!!

  5. #5
    Female Attendant Vincher's Avatar
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    Jul 2012
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    Re: I hope you'll understand

    PLEASE do not give up on her now. Do you know a pregnant woman can easily have depression? She is bearing your seed now, you have no idea how much changes she have to go thru now. The body changing part, the emotional part as well due to the change of hormones in her body. A pregnant woman will be more sensitive and needs more attention and love. I am not saying these because I'm a woman, but these are proven facts. A pregnant woman is going thru a lot of changes mentally and physically, thus you have to be very supportive.

    Have you ever thought of this? If you give up this relationship now, you are actually pushing her at the edge of a cliff? She is pregnant with your child and if you leave her, worse case scenario, she will commit suicide as it is too hurtful for her and she might have depression and depression will lead to people committing suicide.

    If this happens, will you be able to forgive yourself?

    Think of the consequences...

    If you want this relationship to work, sit down, have a heart to heart talk nicely to her.

    Be sensitive, tell her to forgive you for all that you have done wrong and really please move on and not talk about the past issue anymore as it is very unhealthy for the relationship. Also, please do not contact your ex gf anymore.
    If you really love her, you should belong to her only. SMSing ex gf to us woman is like, you still have feelings for her, if not message for what? You understand? She doesn't do that, so why should you?
    Messaging ex, is a waste of time and non productive.

    Make this relationship work, do not give up just because of these, remember, if she do not love you, she wouldn't even be jealous in the first place....

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