This is a discussion on I make my decision within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; Pardon my bluntness, but i feel that 'preventing a conflict' is not a reason but an excuse. I dont know ...
Pardon my bluntness, but i feel that 'preventing a conflict' is not a reason but an excuse. I dont know why she is so afriad of the conflict. They will not be living with each other soon, so what if ther will be conflict? we afriad of conflict with hub and inlaws cos we are a family, we live together but since things turn ugly, why still bother about conflicts anot? personally if i were in her shoe, i will try means n ways to fight for the custody. No matter how slim the chance is, at least I once fought for it. And in many cases, mothers are the ones who get the custody if there is only 1 child. if 2 or more, usually will split. Since she has seek for lawyer's advice, I'm sure she does know that she can either fight for the custody or share the custody with her hub. The mummies here are just curious, even if she does not want to fight for the custody, why not SHARE the custody instead of GIVING up to a so-called irresponsible father?
but i actually feel for her reluctance because she is afraid that if both parents fight for the child's custody, then it will drag. the ultimate person who suffer is her child. get the custody with a long fight, the child suffers (the child will feel torn apart). dont't get the custody, child might suffer with ex-husband and in-laws. that's the conflict she is having now. and i find it a valid reason why she might think of not going for the custody. she is trying to minimise the hurt that her child will feel. hence it is impt to support her to be strong in this fight and stand up for herself. what she wants for the best for her child.
sorry for nit picking.. just to clarify myself and how i get my conclusions. just hope that all will turn well for ger-mummy. i wish all the best for both the mother and child!
i believe, everyone has their story behind everything. 3rd party difficult to comment.
just an advise. be strong n firm on your decision. whatever you decide now, marks your future.
for me, i will never give up my child no matter what happens. even if hubby come n find trouble, you can always report it to the court. they have ways to handle such matter. you're not the only one going thru this in this world.
althou, im still in a happy family, im always prepared to stand alone n fight wars against my inlaws/hubby should anything happens. always be financial ready for such war.
1 of the best decision i've made in my entire life is to get a flat on our own n move out before my child is born.
i know, inlaws n us (daughter in law) definitely will have conflicts all that. afterall, they aint our parents. the love is different.
so i insisted i want a flat before i have a child. but swayness, i ballot 8 times over 2 years with HDB n i got NUTz!
no a single time i got a chance to even choose a flat. so i turned to resale when i was 5months preg.
n lucky me, i got the keys to my unit just 1 month before my delivery. blessing!
my 3rm flat, 1 is master bedroom, i put baby cot in there. n my common room is my 6 doors wardrobe. this gives me a good reason that NOBODY can move into my house! if they move in, means i have no access to my wardrobe at all!
=X evil me. my inlaws hinted many times they want to move in, i just shut up n dont give comments on the spot.
just that i told my husband, no matter what, i will never let ANYBODY move in my flat.
so to be fair, both of our parents cant move in. my parents live with my sibilings so confirm wont stay with me.
many times, marriage fails becoz of inlaws problem. like a sentence goes " you marry a person, you marry the whole family behind it ". thats life. who knows what will happen tml?
Delivered my girl on 03 Feb 2011 & my boy on 03 Jan 2013 =)
So i guess for the past years your not really happy with your boyfriend. . So i think its time to move on. too much is enough.....