This is a discussion on If your husband have affair do you give him a 2nd chance? within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; Hi ladies, I am wondering if your husband have affair, do you give him a 2nd chance? Please share your ...
I am wondering if your husband have affair, do you give him a 2nd chance? Please share your thoughts...
for me very much depends how far or to what extend their affair had went.
and if husband is repentance on his act and how can he assure of such will not happen again.
on the wife's part is about building the trust back again.
i will not say i will leave him for good when this have not happen to me.
i believe most of us including myself will not be able to leave the husband just like that even though an extramarital affair seems serious enough.
The affair already severe with immediate effect. I am a very observant(can be detective) so the min i sense something is not right, i put a stop to it. The affair only last 3 months.
My heart really break and at that time, I almost commit sucide and I guess that really scare the shit out of him. Throughout our years of marriage(6yrs), he never see me cry and everynight, tears will be flowing. In the end, i chose to forgive him as I felt he still care for me. At least he never push me down the building
But somehow or rather, even though I can forgive, i can't forget and that's the problem. I dont want to mention this affair in front of him as i promise to forgive him but when he is away, the suspicion start....sigh...what to do....go to motherhood forum read people's thread...and post thread so that i won't think so much...otherwise, I think will go bonkers
getting suspicious will be like every day work.
dont't let assumption gets the better of you.
try to relax a bit, in fact it will give your husband more confidence if you treat him like before. put some trust in him again.
hmm.. i think you may want to let your hubby know about the suspicious you still get of him after the betrayal. not to probe about about where he went or who he's with. not asking him to report his movements also.
just to let him know how bad you felt at times.
i believe his assurance to you works better than any of our comments here.
at all other times, find someone to chat with. throw out all the bad feelings. hearing other advices may calm you for a moment or two.
When i say i forgive him, i treat him like before, pampering him, giving him head massage at night, cook for him and help him spend his $$$$
even my husband did not betray our marriage, i may also get a little suspicious of him when he have to work overnight.
yes.. spending husband's money helps to relieve some unknown stress.
it works for me as well but of course a comfortable amount only.
good to see that you are working your way to put the past behind.
Children is the most pity when such things happen. If he change, maybe I'll forgive for the sake of our son. If he never change, I'll divorce him and make him give us money every month, so that he got no money for the 'foxy woman', I'll never choose sucide and let him be so happy with the woman.. Let him choose, the foxy woman or us...
My first thought on discovering the affair was to divorce him. But later on second thoughts, wouldn't that fulfilled the wish of the "foxy woman". Furthermore, I noticed my children behaviour start to changed cos in the past, we are really loving every weekend bring kids out to play whole family holding hands and blocking people's path... so for the sake of the kids, I decided to forgive him and not kick up a fuss.
Forgiving means never mention the affairs again not letting any of my parents, in laws and relatives know. That's why all the bottling up is bad for the health...
Few months back, I also came to know that my husband got involve with another married woman as well.
At that moment, i only thought of divorce. But in the end, i know he is rather guilty, so i forgiven him. But i really can't forget and get over it loh. So even now, when we sort of quarrel, i would always bring up that issue again. worst is, i have no interest in ml with him at all. And from time to time, espcially i am aloney watching tv, i would thought of them being together...thing like that. Keep haunting me till now. When i thought of it, i really feel like kiliing him loh....(sigh, sound evil?) I tried to overcome it myself, but somehow very difficult.
Anyway, if betray of such take place, usually mentally suffer is the the victim. It will really take long time to 'really' forgive him loh....
Sigh, no choice , temptation is everywhere...
when faced this problem, i also start joining this forum, share my thought and ready others advise, it does help to relieve a bit
and of coz the trust and love will need to be rebuild again like when we first knew each other....meaning life will never be the same again. IT should be a very difficult process....including many negative feelings and doubts along the way....as the saying goes : Once bitten twice shy.