This is a discussion on i'm confused :( within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; Originally Posted by pipi what if i was the one telling you back what you just commented ? how would ...
Either continue the pregnancy and give birth to a happy baby or go to the gynaecologist and terminate the preganancy.
If you like baby and kids so much, then obviously the former choice is suitable.
The next issue after you decide to keep the baby is how are you gonna give them a heathly life?
Can your mum help you to take care of the baby when you go and work to find bread and butter?
In singapore, if you have a job then I believe you and your baby + kids lives will more or last be guranteed.
As for your bf, support him mentally for his pursue of academic attainment.
However, he had to find means ($$) to support his fees while you support the kid and baby.
That's what I thought of for now..
I understand yo stance and views on adoption. Saving a life is better than killing it. But my view differ frm you becoz how sure r the foster parents r like you? Material comfy is secondary then the mental and psychological connectiong. Wil the foster parents take good care and nourish him into a useful and caring adult? It wil even b worst if the foster parent suddenly have their own offspring.
In another angle, hve you think about the "loss" that the mother who gives the baby up for adoption? Frm what we can see, thread starter loves baby and kid alot. Wil you allow the mother to visit the baby as a friend?
Moreover what I port r my own opinions in the hope that I can persuade her to give birth and take care on her own. Coz I had suggested way so she can work and take care of the baby.
Do read and try to understand where I put my emphasis.
1 successful story doesnt guarantee another.
I can only say yo son/daughter is lucky to b adopted by both of you.
Last edited by noelsmum; 23-04-2011 at 11:15 PM.
So you think giving up to adoption is the correct and natural path for young unmarried parents to take?
Frankly, have you think of the social impact if all unmarried mother does your way? you r encouraging irresponsible acts for youngsters. you make it like its the best way for her.
We, singaporean r being trained by our 1st world government to b independent and self independence unlike those in hongkong.
Frankly, I am offended by the way you put it as singaporean r immatured being.
Who in tis world beside you think its a non-brainer choice for thread starter?
There wil always b two sides to a coin. It wil land either sides. It is not a simple rite or wrong in ts choice. She has to decide whats more appropriate.
however, as time passes, and feedback from some of the forumers who have read her blog, she has not learnt her lesson and in fact said that the thread replies here were mean to her. majority of the thread replies i felt were not mean but painted a picture of the reality of this world and the consequences of choices. the harsh reality made her feel that the replies were harsh. so i read some of her blog posts and i felt greatly disappointed.. i really did hope she would mature out of it but no..
we encouraged her to work. she said she only had psle. so her job opportunities are very limited. we suggest those low requirement ones like waitressing, etc but it seems like she doesn't really want to take on those jobs. at that point of time when she found out she was pregnant, she was disturbed and she went to drink with her boyfriend.. from this you can tell that she is not that mature already.
so from such a background, it will not be a wise choice for us to advise her to take care of her child.
in addition, she said she love kids and is pro-live. so an abortion is most likely going to harm her psychologically and make her feel guilty since she is steadfast in her stand of no abortion.
hence, the best option is to choose adoption. yes, i agree with you that there are risks involve. i'm sure MCYS would have the safeguards and checks for such adoption schemes. i might be wrong, but i dont't think people would want to spend money to adopt a child, incur all the expenses of raising a child and abuse him. sure, it's a possibility but it's a small percentage. from the news, i usually see sexual and physical abuse by mothers' boyfriends, lovers, etc etc happening in Singapore. I rarely see reports on abuse on adopted child (actually, i never see it before at all).
i hope this gives you a good summary of how our thought process of this thread issue goes.
and i also hope individual attacks would stop as of now and deal with the matter alone. =)
Last edited by Edwinie; 24-04-2011 at 01:32 AM.
I said mine, my very own advice. Others had theirs.
To each their own. Past experience usually shaped our outlook of lives.
When the issues dealing wit life and death, its never gonna be a simple right or wrong.
To those majority who advise her to give baby up for adoption, pls put yourself in any mum shoe. Carry the pregnancy for 10mths then give baby up for adoption upon delivery. what wil you feel?
If its only 1st trimester, wont you feel it better to terminate? Stop the psychological pain now?
I am just being objective in my advice. Getting agitated over other advices is so meaningless.
I end my case here.