This is a discussion on I'm in deep S**T within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; Originally Posted by tommyBoi Bro vroomvroomboys... I quite agreed with joeichen above comments.. thats y i rather keep quiet if ...
your mum have no choice but to give the child away, but have we ever wonder hw it feel for a mum to give her own child away after 9mths inside her?
Or like BbpHir3 who is a mum but left with no choice but to abort her child?
Dear Mummies n Daddies ,
I think we should stop discussing about this anymore since our bbp dearie have make up her mind for doing what she wanted to do .
Nobody is stopping you or anybody else from voicing out your comments or suggestions ... but do put some thorough thought into the whole perspective before making talk for the sake of making talk.Originally Posted by joeichen
When some of you suggested giving way for adoption is better than abortion ... the premise is no life is lost, so it is obviously a win-win situation.
I was just highlighting 2 issues which probably did not arise from your 3rd person perspective:
1) to abort or not, the decision has to be make now ... to give away for adoption or not, you have 9 months & beyond to decide ... even when you change your mind by then, nobody can go against your wishes ... so how many mummies here, who have experienced the 9-month connection with your foetus, will still bear to give away their baby for adoption?
2) even if you bite your lips real hard & give away the baby, how sure are you that the next 20 years of your baby's life is gonna be better than what you could have given? How many of you ever had a guy impressed you for months, such that you become an item ... but eventually still broke up when he revealed his true colours down the years? So, what odds that adoptive parents are not the same?
Who's WE? You & the gang of VVB trashers?Originally Posted by joeichen
Then, I dont really give a damn ...
For a fact, it is only Bbphir3 (this young girl who has way too much on her shouders & was contemplating suicide somwhere along this thread) that I even bother to spend time on this particular thread ... not becoz of you.
Pray tell how many gynaes are the male species? Has any of them ever carried a foetus for 9 weeks ... let alone 9 months? So, who does so many women still rely on what decision these gynaes make for them?Originally Posted by joeichen
It is a privilege you have experiencing the nauseous discomfort throughout your pregnancy ... it is also a privilege you have experiencing the excruciating pain during the delivery ... all in all, it is a privilege to be a mother ... it's just something we guys can never simulate, no doubt about that.
However, thinking aloud what it's like to go through abortion, especially in a country where policies are supposed to be pro-family ... as well as thinking aloud what it's like to give away you own child for adoption, including the anxiety & the guilt ... you just need a little grey matter upstairs.
As you've suggested, if it's about the WHY you need to abort or give away for adoption ... then, it's got even lesser to do with "you have to be a mother before you can know".
So, who are the mature mums here ... & who are the immature mums?Originally Posted by joeichen
You mean to suggest those who think like you are the mature ones?
Now, that's perhaps more condescending that me, the mere loud mouth ... dont you agree?
Nope, it's not an easy decision for Bbphir3 ... simply becoz there are consequences no matter which way she decides.Originally Posted by tommyBoi
That's why I said my piece & left it at that ... reiterating that she has to come to the decision by herself.
Reason is simple ... even if this forum is still around in the years to come, I'm sure some (if not most of us) would move on with life elsewhere ... in other words, whatever suggestion she listens to, it doesn't come with any warranty card.
It is for this reason that I chose to exercise my freedom of speech ... to highlight deficiencies or flaws that exist in some of the suggestions thrown to Bbphir3 - my stand is simple: anybody can suggest whatever they want, but dont suggest solutions which they wouldn't follow through themselves.
Anyways, I think I was the first one in this forum who knew of Bbphir3's decision ... becoz we chatted via sms over the weekend. So, you see, whether it is good or trusted advice ... Bbphir3 will decide & only that matters to me.
PS: Before I get trashed for no good reasons again, let it be put on the record that I did not influence Bbphir3 into her decision to abort ... whatever I said to her was merely this: I'm in deep S**T
After that, the only contact I had with her was via sms where she merely told me of her decision.
Hey everyone cool it cool it...
Everyone here's just trying to help/advise...or at least provide an listening ear...
think the last thing Bbp wants is our members being displeased with one another over her matter...isn't it??
since she's already decided what to do...guess we just gotta wish her the very best...
Bbp pls take care ok...heard after abortion you still gotta do at least 2 weeks confinement...
Urm Guys & Gals...
Chill alright? Doesn't matter what happens bcoz ultimately choice is being made by oneself. We only here to share comments or views.
Each individual sensitivity is different. dont take things to heart ya? Last time when I was in Yahoo Forum I quarrel with ppl until meet up, that one damn serious bcoz that fella insulted me way too much... Until bring parents out and all...
So lets just put this aside... After all, we are all here to help one another, this is a virtual world too. Who knows we might really need each other help one day?
If sometimes we are really not happy or what, I guess Ignorance Is Bliss...
Though I know sometimes some ppl are just out to make trouble or be a KPO, but again think bout it, they are not in our life, so dont get affected by it though I know some how or rather it will but just whine a little bit then let go ...
I am in the retail industry so thats why I talk like this. Bcoz sometimes I get custs who are really "GOD DAMN IRRITATING" and sometimes just feel like asking them if they need me to send them home to bring their BRAINS out or not, hehe...
My 2 cents worth... Chill ok?
Totally agreed with mich_liu82!
Just post your own point of view and dont't bother others people advise/comment as no matter what the decision is still the up to the person who post this thread.. *Peace*
Oh ya... not getting personal about tis.
Every1 have their own point of view which no 1 can say its wrong or rite.
Not trying to pin point who or what.
Nvm..... anyway she have her desicion made.
No 1 will be responsible for that other than herself.
We can only wish her luck on that.
I will not be bother on what others commented so nothing to cool or chill....
The thread starter has already made up her decision and that is to "terminate". I dont't want to use the word "abort" because I find it cruel on my part. For me, I believe that everything has a REASON and a PURPOSE on why things happen in our lives. Every decision we make plays a vital role in living a life that we want. Life is never perfect! In every action we make there will always be a reaction (positive & negative). Lesson learnt in this thread is...BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS & THINK BEFORE YOU DO!
Actually i'm not quite affected by all of you.. wahahaha.... i went to the clinic at parkway over the weekends.. Told dear husband that he dont need to acc if he dont want to.. but he still went.. n he borrowed $ from his friend to pay .. i told him, how many times will can he borrow from his friend?
I went prawn fishing with him n his friends at night bout a dew days back.. though i still got sku d next day, i still went with him.. leaving dear daughter with mother in law..
That night, i realise something.. i can spend the rest of my life with tis guy.. he's striving very hard for us.. i can c that.. i'm sure somewhere in his heart, he noes that he's responsible of our well-being.. i'm quite positive that he'll come to his senses one day... that's y i'm not gonna give up on his just yet..........
VVB: actually you're ONE OF THE first one to know my decision.. i was sms-ing male almond at the same time.. wahahaha....
happymummyo7: when we first know that i'm preg with dear daughter, we wanted to abort her too.. but when we saw her tru the scan for the first time, n heard her heartbeat.. we melted.. that's y we kept her.. watching her grow n, now, starting to talk (making all sort of sounds).. she's my motivation to keep goin to school, strive to do well n stuff.. that's y i did not want dear husband to acc to the clinic.. cuz i'm worried that our decision will waver.. but that's the exact same reason y he acc mi.. but it's cuz he was worried that i might cry n breakdown at the clinic..
but anyway, i need to go to the hospital from the next appt onwards.. cuz of my thyroid.. so i'm goin Kandang Kerbau Hospital for the abortion instead.. the appt in on next friday.. today, i went Kandang Kerbau Hospital already, with dear husband, of cuz.. n the doc saes that they need to retrieve my files and do some test.. test done already.. result out next week.. hopefully in time to use the most basic abortion method.. cuz now goin bout 2 mths liaoz.. fingers cross.. the later the abortion, diff method used, then will more expensive... sigh............
This is the most positive thing I hear from you ... & I'm happy for you.Originally Posted by BbpHir3
Hold on to this image in your mind for the longest time, tattoo it if necessary ... hopefully, he will come to realise how to be a good husband & a good father before that image fades away.
I actually have come across friends who married young but still cannot give up their happy-go-lucky lifestyle ... it was when his children were already approaching secondary school education before he suddenly became a changed man.
Yes, it will be a long journey, an arduous journey ... but with that image eteched in your mind, at least you have a goal to strive for. You will live to see that day, trust me.
hopefully i will LIVE to c that day come.. secondary school.. means i have to wait 12 years...... mayb not... if count step dear daughter.. means i need to wait 7 years.. OMG!!!!!
*starting to regret* wahahaha... just kidding...
Girl ... think of it this way.Originally Posted by BbpHir3
Even if it takes 12 years, you'd just be a little over 30 years old ... about the same age as many of the mummies here, which means you are on par with them in having a similarly Happy Family.
H A - P P Y
F A - M I - L Y
bbp dearie....i do agree with the rest that you should speak to your parents about it.....all parents love their children .....even if they cant help you much financially, at least, you've support from them........i'm very sure your parents can offer you some solutions.....maybe they can look after your kids ????
i also dont agree that you should go for abortion.....so many of us (trying to concieve-ing section) here is dying to have one.......moreover, it's very hurting to our body too....if you go for abortion, when you look back, surely you will regret rite ???
did you speak to your dear husband ?? you mention that he cant support 2 kids...but, did he try finding a higher salary job or even get 2 jobs ??? understand the market is not very good now, rather a bad timing to find job.....