i do understand your feeling.. honestly speaking, my hubby is not the one i love the most, but why did i said i do... because i m a clever woman.. heehee.. i chose to married the man who love me more than i love him.. this way is happier..
i admire your hubby and sorry to say that i look down at your boyfriend..
if i were you, i will apologise to hubby and totally stop contacting or thinking about yr bf.. you r very lucky to get such a hubby who love you, forgive you, and sayang you... if he doesn't love you more than he love himself, he won't forgive you and come back to you and take care of you, and most importantly, accept yr baby as his own child.. this baby is a memory for him, whenever he see this baby, he might think of yr lover or he might even have a picture of you r sleeping with yr lover.. since he has a big heart, you should give yrself a chance to start all over again.. i would say not everyone will have such a chance again.. if he doesnt sayang you, he wont put in an effort to bring you to visit gyne...
from what you said, i can tell yr hubby love you every much.. Ling, you had enough.. you dont deserve to get hurt.. pls love yrself and yr baby.. give yrself and yr baby a happy family and a healthy family.. be a clever woman.. yr choose is in yr hand.. everyone deserve happiness, including you.. yr lover wont give you happiness..
BEING LOVE IS HAPPIER THAN LOVING OTHERS