You are pregnant now right?
This is a discussion on I'm very sad, husband doesn't want to get intimate anymore after I had a baby within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; I'm very sad lately. I feel that my husband doesnt want to get intimate anymore after I had a baby. ...
I'm very sad lately. I feel that my husband doesnt want to get intimate anymore after I had a baby.
My dear daughter is coming to 8 months. We've had BD maybe only 3 times since dear daughter is born.. How can it be? I kept asking myself. I asked him too, always joking to him why he can stop asking for sex? How did he settle his needs himself? He said he knows I'm tired. Which is true but I m not always tired. Plus, shouldnt we both try to find time to get to bed early so we can get some intimacy?
At first I really tell myself we are both tired. But sex only 3 times over this 8 months is ridiculous. I'm getting worried.
Does this happen to you girls? Can someone tell me if this is normal? I feel very depressed and feel that he's treating me this way because he doesn't find me attractive anymore. Do you have to schedule with your husband so as to really b getting to bed to do it?
Last edited by decoco; 24-07-2011 at 12:36 AM.
You are pregnant now right?
Erm no.. I just gave birth end last year
Last edited by decoco; 24-07-2011 at 12:35 AM.
How long have you been married? I think it's best to talk to your hubby about this, like your needs and to rekindle the passion. I dont think having a schedule works, in fact, if I am the hubby, it will kill off any interest. Intimacy should be spontanous, not scheduled.
Also, if you have someone whom you can entrust your baby to, perhaps have a short getaway to relax and enjoy each other's company again?
Yup agreed with shopholic. I think if your hubby dont't get intimate with you means something must be wrong.. Since he dont't want to tell you the truth, maybe you shld go investigate yourself... See whether he got any woman outside or what... Just check to have a peace of mind? Man has needs. If they dont't get it from you means they are getting it from someone else.. Maybe you can check his hp or what...
well, some guys needs time to adjust to being a father and maybe your hubby is still "adjusting" or like some other mummies did mention about hubbies having phobia after seeing their wives give birth... did your hubby see you give birth?
should just have a good talk with him before you jump to conclusions.
I myself am currently 8mths preggie, been not having sex with hubby for the past mths too since I was like 2mths pregnant. He refuses anything else too, like BJ or HJ... sigh.. guess just have to grin and bare it bah..
My hubby is 30.. And dont't think it's possible for him to stray cos he comes home everyday after work and work at home.. And weekends we stay together all the time..
Not sure about the phobia though.. He did see my labour. can that be the case? Ive been hinting all the time that we should try for second baby.. But maybe he's too tired and I am very tired too. But I just thought if he has needs, whether tired or not will still want to do it?
Should I like ask him to come to bed earlier? You know cos he's always busy working in the study if not surfing net or doing housework. While I will be breastfeeding and when baby sleeps I lie down to rest.. Waiting for hubby but he takes so long to come to bed that I will fall asleep and it gets really late.. How do you girls manage the time? With a baby seems like no time..
what he work as? can't he take leave or time off? he needs to 'release' also
Hubby was afraid to touch me in the beginning after I gave birth to dear daughter too, he was afraid of hurting me and that I might be too tired. Sometimes its his turn to be tired as well. Why not have a good talk with him about it? He could be tired after a day's work. And also it will be good to take initiative instead of waiting for him to come to bed, he might see you lying down on the bed and thought that you might be too tired. Sometimes after dear daughter goes to sleep, I'll go looking for him instead.
ya i tink you shld take more initiative, if he dont come to you, why not go to him? wear sexy lingerie to tempt him? Ask someone to take care of your baby for a whole day while you all go out and relax... that might set him to the mood.
You have to talk to your husband regarding that. You can also make the first move if you want, but you must be confident in doing that. To put you in mood, you can try reading some of today's best fantasy romance books. Be romantic just like when you dont have a child yet.
Last edited by sweetflame; 17-12-2011 at 08:53 PM.
thinks its fine... the last time i did it with my wife was... erm... 2 months back too....
you have to dress sexy and make him horny again. Something is wrong with the guy. Most me need to release at least once a week. Do you remember how to make him horny the last time? Do some pole dancing or whatever to keep it alive.
You know your husband best. Dont let anyone influence your thinking about him. Maybe you can try changing your image or hairstyle. And you do the initiative.
Have you put on lot of weight? Men are actually visual creatures. After I lost my 12kgs, my hubby looked at me differently again. The feeling is actually different between going thru the motions due to needs and between his wants.
My hubby loves me the way I was, yes. But when I made an effort to changed myself... you really can see the eyes sparkled differently. Anyway in my point of view, we keep in shape benefits everyone.
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