Stay a distance and not talk to her unnecessarily
Talk to her, try to understand her & her strange habits
Talk to your husband
Pray that she will kick the bucket soon
This is a discussion on My mother-in-law, Mdm L rom hell within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; Originally Posted by noelsmum After reading all the posts, I'm so glad that we live 3 and half hours away ...
My in-laws didn't do a single thing, except to be pregnant for 9 months and give birth to their son.
My husband was brought up by his grandparents too. Until the age of 8, he has to move back to the parents' place together with grandparents. Even going to primary school, etc, it was grandfather who drives my husband to school. After moving back, he is still very close to the older folks. The older folks prepared all meals at home. His parents is always at mahjong sessions.
My in-laws didn't have to worry about the son. He worked part-time to put himself through NUS. They didn't have to worry about money for him. They didn't have to pay a cent for our wedding, didn't have to pay a cent for our first house, a condo and they didn't even buy us any house-warming gift! When my mum got us a Ariston fridge! I told my husband that his parents are very lucky to have him.
Well, it is not a big issue even if they didn't do all these or even show concern for us. But please dont't try to create unnecessary trouble for us!
Initially, we have a lot of arguments about his mother and I have to learn it the very hard way, fights, shouting match, etc. Things with the mother in law from hell is still not going well for me but relationship with my husband is much better now. This is how I am working at - Focus on building your relationship with your husband, always remember that at the end of the day, it's going to be you and your husband. Never Never let others (esp the in-laws) kill your marriage. If you read one of my earlier post, you dont't have to like your in-laws, just give them basic respect, etc. all these for the sake of your relationship with the husband.
Get listening ears, share them with others and you will feel better...like me. I always feel better when I 'bitch' (sorry but I really dislike her) about my mother in law's nonsense and this thread that I started is like my painkiller, my cure And if you think, you need to share with the husband, find the right opportunity and discuss with him. Never never do it when you are angry or emotional. Speak firmly.
You are lucky that you only have to see her during festive seasons and that you are staying really far away from them. Unlike the rest of us here. Sigh!
Very true! dont't think we can survive living in the same country as her. I told my husband in his face that we are not heading back to Spore to live until our son is 12. I won't have people interfering with the way I bring up my son. Oh, forgot to add that we adopted our son because we felt that it's God's call. Initial plan was for us to have a biological kid after we adopt but hubby has decided that we should just have one kid. And now, mother in law is always asking me when are we having going to have a biological kid. And I so want to tell her to ask your son and not me. Why assume that something is wrong with me? She told my mum before we adopted that if I've a prob conceiving to see a doc or go to a traditional chinese medicine practitioner. I'm like, WTH? How rude! At least she loves our adopted son, so not going to complain about that.
I did the same to my husband also. In the end, he no choice but to speak up, still not the truth but at least he said something!
You know what hell I went through?
We have been married for seven years and only one year ago that we decided to start our family planning. He refuses to check on his 'swimmers' while me on the other hand, have been put through tests after tests. My results were all cleared and good; am always ovulating, always good lining, HSG done and good. Until when I decided to do IUI, that we found out that his 'swimmers' are very very very bad, zero normal ones. Of course I was very dissapointed. He refuses to change his lifestyle, quit smoking, etc. While me on the other hand is careful (ok, I try to be) about my diet, excerise more, etc. Doc gave him supplements, he refuses to take.
His mother has never bug us for grandchildren, she never likes kids and I have this nasty feeling that she doesn't long for grandchildren because once we have baby, her son's focus will be on our baby and not so much on her and she thinks that her son may deduct her allowance - and therefore she has lesser money to gamble and beautify her ugly self.
It was his grandma that gave us hell, but I am still on good rapport with grandma. Grandma always pull me to a corner and ask if there's anything wrong with me, etc. She keep reminding me to start having kids early, etc. I told her nicely that I have seen a doctor and doctor said I am ok, good. But she still nags at me. She even tell me to tell my mum to go check with people on how to get pregnant. Hello?? This is about me, why put the blame onto my mum?? My husband is aware about his grandma nagging at us.
One day, she told me that she got a contact from some aunty that this particular doctor is very good and that she wants to bring me go for checkup but dont't tell my husband about it. I am still keeping my cool, I told her, "ok, but why dont't you bring US (me and my husband, K) to go see this doctor??". His grandma replied, "Nothing to do with K, I bring you." I got so angry, but still trying to keep cool and raised my voice alittle at her, "I already told you doctor checked on me, and I am perfectly ok." She didn't get the drift.
At home, I told K that HE better speak up, if not I can tell the truth about his swimmers to the whole family and things will get ugly because he is the eldest grandson and the only kid in the family. So the next time, his grandma asked me, he quickly said that it is not my fault, that I am perfectly ok, that it is just that he is very stressed at work.
That's nice of your husband to finally speak up. I dont't think mine would speak up because he can't deal with his naggy mother. In fact, when he went back to Spore to work for 8 months, after living with his parents for 4 months, he had enough! He called me to ask my mother to get my old room ready. He moved to my parents' home.
5pages long.. oh dear... no time to read..
but i also have nasty in-laws too...
i think we cn meet up and gossip about them.. haha
Just glance through if you have the time. Actions of some of our MILs are really out of this world...what a joke!! I even found a long-lost twin sister for my mother in law(right babymoo?) ....exactly the same nonsense and style. Feel free to share your problems too, that is, if you are comfortable sharing or even better still, you dont't have any?? Then good for you!
I'll post mine whn I have the time. n hopefully none of the in-laws/relative sees it. lol
I remember when I went back last summer for 4 weeks. I went to visit my grandmother in law and hubby's Aunty was there. She asked if I was going to stay at my in laws for the summer with my son. I told her no. I'm staying at my parents. She nodded and she said that my mother in law can't be difficult. So even relatives can also say that about her.
Looking at the poll results, there is still no takers for 'talk to her, try to understand her strange habits'.
Good! It shows that I'm not the only one who think this way.
my 'in-laws' are horrible..!
If really wanna say I think need days n weeks . lol
Anw my 'in-laws' said lots of nasty stuffs n did lots of nasty things to me. And I'm just waiting for karma to befall them. I know I sound so heartless but it's what they have done to me