Firstly, marriage takes 2 hands to clap. If one party wants out, it's between the 2 of them. There are many reasons why marriages fail. Outsiders can't force anyone to carry on loving others. so let's not assume that marriages die die must last till the end. In my opinion, whoever files for the divorce.. is the true cause of the marriage failure, not about who did what previously.
In my opinion, kids should always stick to the mom, as women are the natural caregivers. But I also understand not all women make good caregivers.
She is below 35, so if it's HDB, she can only keep the flat only if care and control of the kids is with her.
If its BTO, can only surrender the flat if is under MOP.
Under a contested Div, judge will almost always grant JOINT CUSTODY in line with govt policy.
It is common to see ppl throw in the towel and go for uncontested when it gets draggy.
She needs to know what she wants in life. If she can't tink rationally for herself, she is better off staying in a unhappy marriage.
A Div is a very difficult episode. She needs to be strong and rationale before embarking on this journey.