i understand yr situation... really its better to stay by yrself than in in-laws' place...
This is a discussion on prejudice will only jeopardize relationship within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; Very irritated by my mother in law. It's just a toy car which belong to my son. The niece claim it's hers ...
Very irritated by my mother in law. It's just a toy car which belong to my son. The niece claim it's hers cause she say her dad bought for her. She is 3 and my boy is also 3plus coming 4. Anyway I have found the parts that suppose to connect on it and proof that toy belong to my son but despite giving me back, mother in law can say that she have to ask her son in law whether the car is he buy anot. Come on, I alrdy show her but she insist my son to gv the niece back. I snatch back from my poor son hand and pass to mother in law. My son was crying really miserably, I thought after what mother in law say thn might be the niece one. So I called hubby, he say suppose to be our son one cause morning alrdy have a fight about the car and the neice pass to my son as he dont't want to go school without it. Anyway my sis in law who doing confinement know about it, she seems unhappy cause little children keep arguing.. I'm terribly frustrated when my mother in law keep bothering me, telling me that she have to ask first whose toy is that. I say mine, she say must ask bro in law, if not his, thn she return to me. Whats the point of being so prejudice about my words. I m just so fed up and I say that she is double standard. Stupid and I dont't need any verification on anything i say. So damn pissed off. She treat her daughters like angel. I might not be good in housekeeping, yes, you can say me lazy. But before she judge me, see her own daughter first. I'm also my mother's daughter. She help her daughter in everything, bathe the baby, look after their kids, cook for thm and house keeping, bring all the boiled flask to her room upstairs, spoon feed her almost every single thing. So what is the differ, at least I look after my own son, working , feed and even confinement, I bathe my baby n tk
Cre all by myself. It just so unfair, this is still ok but father in law have never even carry my son before not even touching his small finger . dont't you think this is absurd, we stay together but I m moving soon very soon once after my son got a school in the new place. I will try not to go back often, think is better that way, less conflict. Ask their daughters to take care of them or their son in law.
i understand yr situation... really its better to stay by yrself than in in-laws' place...
I really need a place to talk to vent out.. My hubby just told me that his mum complain to him about I saying her double standard and she is unhappy. I told my hubby that after these yrs, she say me do many times , can't I even stand up for myself. He say that is his mum n also my mother in law, I say doesn't mean she can treat my son like that. Unfair is unfair, I'm stating the true. See, end up arguing. Am I wrong to say she double standard. Am I wrong to have voice out? I feel very unhappy too. I understand he got caught in the middle. I know he feel sandwiches thn what shld I do. Continue like that. Let her say until I explode or keep quiet n forever say me n treat me like that. She really way too bias. It's so clearly stated , blind also can feel n see. Sometimes I really getting disgusted and slowly becoming to hate which I hope it won't. It's hard. I rather the relationship be stagnant like that.
Think this is a common prob when we stay with them. No matter what, we aren't their blood daughters, definitely they will not treat us as nice. But to sour the relationship between you and your hubby coz of them is totally not worth it. No matter what, its your hubby who will be spending the rest of your life with, not the in laws.
I also cannot stand my mother in law, and im hoping everyday to be able to move out. But for now, all i can do is to take it all upon myself. And cut down on the interaction between me n her. Her daughter said she is lonely, coz everytime i just stay in my room and dont't watch tv in the living room with her. Seriously, i wanted to tell her daughter, then you fetch her over to your house to watch tv with you , but i took it all down and just said coz we watch diff channels.
Alot of times, i cannot voice out what i wanted to, coz no matter what its not my house and the consequences can be disastrous. Ignore your in laws, pray hard that the new school faster get your son a slot so that you can finally move out and no need to see them!!
Thks fisherman. I alrdy tolerate very long. Yesterday I m really on fire when she actually dont't believe me and treat me like a liar. Absurd.. I have never talk back at her cause I think like you. Must be harmony but she keep on doing thing very bias , until to this extend of the toy thing. It's a toy, I dont't have to lie over a toy n moreover it's my son one. Aiyo, frustration and really upset. Ya you r right, no point arguing cause of her. My hubby also tends to quarrel with her cos she is a compare queen. State her friend son is beta etc. my hubby ask her go adopt him as god dont .. It's really funny , we never I'll treat her, it's just no point chatting cis what ever we chat, she start to say how angelic her daughter n their children is. Thn say ours lowly etc. she can be like purposely talk loudly like? Next time she die, nobody care for her . Say that kind of things purposely like saying I won't tk cre of thm. Haizzz.. Like that how. We r all woman. Why make things difficult. I m not perfect but I didn't yell n throw temper or scream on top n be rude. She seems like forcing me sumtimes. Hopefully I can move faster then expected. Bless me pls.
Oh.. It's true.. My hubby treat me ok very nice is also mostly want to make love. We dont't really have time for it cause our boy sleep very late with us. Well I think you can try to tell him nicely while before about to have sex. Haha I did that before and it's work. But of cos dont't complain much. Just tell him , you know, actually I like this moment etc, thn say sumtimes you r not the one who start those things n make him sandwich , hope he understand.. you play the humble pie. That's it. dont't complain about anything, just say you stand in his shoe too. They wil appreciate.
Ya the best is dont't communicate. I think our mother in law is almost the same, one kind right. She complain to my hubby alot about me.. Thn i also tell my hubby what I feel, everytime I say things, I will say cos of our son.. I would protect him . For yr case I not very sure what is it but I believe is almost same , mother in law dislike us n gv us troubles. Forcing us to quarrel that kind. Marriage is seems like we go into their family kind of things, can't adapt or use to their culture . Dinner time, not the same, cooking style etc.. It's hard right, grow til such an age , we are also our parents bao bei . Thn suddenly go into another family see their face, seinz to the Max. Y not ask hubby to cum to our family instead.. Lolx
that day i told him, he always very nice me i will know its for s*x then he not happy . but of course, sometimes he really treate me nice is not purely for s*x , i have to be fair to him too. we got married is bcuz we love each other, wanting to spend our future together. staying at his parents house is bcuz i respect him, not wanting him to become ru jui to my family. now is only endure another 2 yrs!!! our flat will complete ! really looking forward to that day!
i cannot say that mother in law purposly spoilt husband & mine's relationship but she is sometime the cause of our arguement then when we argue, she will become the he shi lao, ask us not to argue! diaoz...
Oic, still ok . Old ppl is sometimes weird. They cause us to argue, ltr part feel bad I think. I also understand that. I really dread gg back mother in law place on weekend. It's torturing and fake I think. I dislike seating for dinner , I rather eat out. I think it's really common, many can't get along with mother in law and hope to get out ASAP, some even dont't get married until house arrive. I just have to bear with it til end of the year n hopefully my son got a school soon. Own place is the best!
It's really crazy again. Little children talk is so naive, what is wrong with people nowadays.. My son merely say " pls come to my room and play with me" she immediately say not your room k, it's grandpa n grandma 's room. This is grabdma's house. Absurd! How 2 young children will understand. She purposely trying to find me troubles right. Talk also talk like fit me to hear. Saying that her precious daughter's son crying cause got scared by door banging. Saying father in law's close too loud n so got scared!! Thn also say things like I close hard too, beware cause thr is baby. Crazy ! I really hate staying thr. Wth! father in law carry the baby and babble so much, he didn't even carry my 3 yrs old same son . Really bias! Can't stand. Since I talk back that time, mother in law have been saying n creating problems, talk nonsense, I m not gg to tolerate.
Seems like your mother in law is trying to make your life difficult. Sometimes I really pity us girls, mother in law treat us like we no father no mother one, can anyhow scold and insult. Actually I was just like you guys, somemore I am pregnant now, Everytime come and tell me I have No rights to be angry, or my father divorce 2 times means my father is a problamatic guy... Etc etc, these things always make me cry so hard alone when husband goes for work. When I complain to him, he become middle person then recently I feel like he is getting irritated by me. Same situation like you, when wanna have sex talk softly to me... When dont't need sex, dont't even want to hug me... As days goes by, I am getting used to it. Even ask him to buy our son pram and receiving blankets all this, he will say things that means like its a waste of money to buy baby all this things or see if have 2nd hand mah, if cannot afford, I can understand, but if he have extra cash to modify his car, why cannot buy for baby things? Or must buy 2nd hand one? How? All these must buy mah.. Correct? Then I also cannot work now...then my mother in law ask me "why you always in your room never go out with friends one ar? You like no friends one ." but she never consider one thing, which is, all my friends have to work and study, she think everybody so free like me? Then I suspect she go tell my husband to ask me go out often.. I also want to go shopping and all.. But who give me the money? Ask from him, he say "why must claim from me" haisss....
Holy shit. I just told my hubby and he say I should have tell off her mother n not tell him now cause he cannot listen to one sides story. Bloody hell! Again they treat me like a liar n need verification. He say he only have one mother. Tats means wife can change but mother cannot. His mother is absurd. Talk so like that as if we always gv in.. She say more. Cos i started talking back n she start to get worst. Hubby say since I tolerate so long y now cannot. Since our house come I talk back. Of cos , tolerate so long. Thn now is to my son too not only me . I feel sad.
It's true they are sandwich between. But how about us. Crazy fellow selfish man. They can be really selfish right. Like what you say. I think best is dont't complain about it to our hubby. Just go war with ourselves . Unhappy just trash it out. Problematic mother in law is everywhere. you pregnant is even more emo. Just tell him yr point of view but I'm quite sure guy ego thing, they sure tell is off if you say he modify car instead of buy baby things..
Hint to him when beta mood... Is it beta..
Walau eh.. Please tell him you never tell his mother off is because you respect her as his mother and as an elderly. Maybe you should ask your husband to try to tolerate your parents if they also treat him like that. Let him have a taste of his own medicine. I also cannot take it already. Later I am gg to tell him off about his car thing, baby is more important then car. And he can go marry his mother instead if want to side her Everytime. If its not because I pregnant now he think I need to rely on him so much? Men are all the same, once you show them you need the, a lot, they will use this as a weapon to take advantage of you. So you also must pull yourself together and show him that you are strong!
I have enough of his mum too that's y I tolerate until cant. I have been quiet n muted zip my mouth even I hear things I dislike n it's about me or for me to listen. She can deliberately say loud etc. watever! Now is cause he always say my son. Bias.. Really too much. Their surname only grandson k. They prefer n dote on their daughter until very obvious. Just last week I voice out she double standard, this week she pattern sibei alot. My hubby also quarrel often with her rubbish n prejudice. Anyway we woman must stand up for our own flesh b blood. I dont't mind how you say me but yr own grandchild . Jiat lat can bang wall.. I really have enough shit from thm. Let's gambatei!!
But you still one step ahead of me, i havent tried blasting at his mother's face yet. haha. i think i will someday too. At least you moving out already. I still have 5 years to go. OMG! HELP! Ya, i also always have to hear things i dont like, then keep keep keep and gek gek gek in my heart. These mother in laws really too much, never even care about other people's feelings and expect us to respect them. Really feel like slapping them. My husband doesnt even quarrel with her. Everytime say she old , just let her be. Then expect me to give in to her also. Ridiculous. Give in also have limit one okay. Dont think they old means everything must go their way! This is plain nonsense. And if after i give birth she dare to say anything about my son i confirm find trouble with her . I think you better show your husband you not so good to bully one. Jia you!
Life is like that. I tolerate few yrs until recently talk back thn now prob again. Sometimes not easy to act just never listen but I know if I angry we fall into trap. So I guess laugh it off infront of them n walk away. This sure make them mad I guess. If today she say things again I will do it, see how she react. Haha
5 yrs is long tho. Faint . good luck to you . Aiya mother in law old ok so to respect thm is right but sometimes overboard how to respect, never talk back is consider very good alrdy still want what from us. I know of friend who really fight with mother in law . Cause very craps things happen too. Madness!!
Best is dont't stay w parent in law. I stay w my in law for 2 years and always hide in my room to avoid conversation. Things get better after I move out but got worse when I have a baby cos mother in law keep nagging at me on how to take care baby until 1 day I can't take it anymore I cry in front of her n beg her stop nagging after that episode she stops but behind my back told relative I am lousy mother can't take stress. Lucky my hubby support me n ask me to avoid going to in law house for dinner. Even if I go I will just greet them n keep quiet n play with my baby.
dont't let mother in law bully somex just reason out with them else they thought we good to b bully but must get hubby support else will upset your hubby.
Hi April fool mum,
what a cute nick! Anyway it's true n right, can't let them always on top of us. It's few yes , around 5 yrs alrdy til recently I tell her back n she very bei song. Anyway she say me is alright but not bias with my son. I hate she always bias about my son n her daughter children. Obvious til blind also can see. crazy ding dong ppl. Ya I shifting soon. I have my own place since May but all CC thr are full so no choice have to reg new one around end quarter this yr! I'm looking forward . Very excited n anxious to leave this place. No need see their face! If can I dont't want see thm . Probably once a yr!! Haha
Interesting fact.. have a good morning breakfast and talk over his mum act this morning. Hubby understand and very upset about the bias thingy. Think he alrdy very seinz about it. ESP recently his sis is confinement, his parents treat her like queen.. Carry the baby, yell us not to slam the door, forbid us to talk loud etc. hubby see n feel it himself.. Actually for us woman n wife, what we want is a listening ears and understand our feeling.. I'm glad he know and he also agree that if his parents gg say anything about us, he will tell thm off.. Recently mother in law have been trying to say things unnecessarily to my son which he dont't even understand, I ignore her so now he aim him. Close door also say I always close door. Best is dont't speak to me cause I say anything pls refer to yr son.
try renting a place elsewhere?
or maybe 3 days stay at one side parents, 4 days stay at the other side parents... then following week rotate...
it's never easy staying at parents-in-law place no matter whether it's guy's or gal's parents...
Hee kibin, I have my own place.. Lolx
But only go back on weekend. Anyway these few days she giving me troubles like never before. Say I close door loud , my boy not discipline enuff. Always say how good her grandchildren is except my boy. Crazy.
My son go to childcare. I tk cre myself. I stay here place since married n thr isn't any place or slot in childcare at punggol. All very very full that's y we go back thr on weekdays. End of 2012 thr is new CC , alrdy register so still have to wait!
It's tiring as fri we go back own house, Sunday nite shift back to mother in law place. It's a hassle but I loves gg back our own place, really very freedom and no bias, no nagging..
I also just move in w in law 1yr ago as waiting our new house to come in 2014 end (I hope). We gave her $600 monthly as allowance, solely allowance n no taking care my son. We are family of 3 n I just gave birth to another baby. Few mths ago she ald hint me that we gv too little by saying " you know, your husband elder bro n his gf gv $800 a month", I replied " oh that sounds ok because they dont have children should be affordable for them". $800 a month include buy breakfast for them only everyday. How can she compare like that? Recently she complain a lot to my confinement lady. Eg we are very stingy gv her very little money while so many ppl stay here, say I lazy always leave all the work to my husband etc. we are saving up for my new house, I take care children after work n my hubby do some clothing washing, we have no issue between us why she bother? To me she is blood sucker always want more money without thinking we can afford or not. My hubby work on shift, will try to ot if he can, my mother in law will say why he always go to work? My hubby say dont work where got money, she say you dont have who have? If she heartpain n think I bully her son why she still ask him wash toilet? She also say my hubby unfillial, and always listen to me, since she dont like us she start to malign us many things. My husband also very sad why his mum like that. Whenever I cook I always cook my father in law share if mother in law not at home. Now she tell my cl I only cook for my father in law when she is around. Fuck them. Those who eat n deny mouth will rot!!! They also hardly look at my baby. Not even a token of angpau as a blessing since baby born. She agreed to take care baby after I start work but she back out now, also gave me headache because send to infantcare will fall sick frequently. Send to nanny also not sure she will take good care or not. Life is like hell to me now. How to hang on for 2 yrs?
This issue is not only me n mother in law, my
mother in law also bias. He never call n ask my hubby want to come back for dinner or not, only call elder son. Even warm their food n serve them. I really pity my hubby why his own mum treat him like that just because he gv $200 lesser. My mum treat my hubby very nice like her own son until my hubby also felt it n appreciate it(she even ask me dont bully my hubby). Now I pity my mother in law because she is losing a son.