This is a discussion on Quarrel with hubby over baby fullmth party within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; I think sometimes ignorance is bliss... to acommodate may not be a sign of weakness. you still have many years ...
I think sometimes ignorance is bliss... to acommodate may not be a sign of weakness.
you still have many years ahead of you... as a family... husband n wife... mother n child...
dont let the emo part get the better of you....
this pantang thing usualli is by fortune teller. like my friend, her parents bring her to fortune teller when young cos she keep falling sick. then the fortune teller say she cannot attend joyous functions cos the person who is the 'star' of the occasion will 'suck her energy' that's y she always fall sick easily.
so bday parties, baby full month, she all cant attend. even on my bday but no party, she never come to school cos she's my best friend & her mum know cant seperate us
I think since things have got to such a stage, just get the old folks to thrash it out on their own. Make your stand clear that your dear son is not gg to the party. They can have their whatever prayer or buffet on their own... Rem that your son's health is more impt.
hi ladies, we had a big fight last night until 3am this morning. it all started when his mum called & i overheard him saying he's not going to care so much about me & my side, this is his son & he will hold the fullmth! so when i overheard, im very angry, asked him why did he not discussed with me, he ignored me & continued conversation with his mum & i got so mad, i took his hp & threw it on the floor, so thats when the big fight started & he started shouting loudly at me.
this is the 1st time he shouted at me so loudly until now im still quite shocked. during the big fight i cried nonstop. when he finally cooled down, we had a talk. he said alot of stuffs on what my mum had done that displeased him, the final straw was when he called my mum, asking her how many cakes she wanted, my mum even insisted she wanted cake vouchers & even told him NOT to hold fullmth. he was very mad, told me this is our son, why is my mum interfering so much. well, not only that, lots of other things too, even i hear quite shocked that my mum acted this way...
then he said his parents even asked iszit i dont want to do at own house, we can do at their house but baby can stay at home, its fine with them. hubby said even his parents are giving in to me & my side alot yet my mum still do so many funny things making them angry. i said i really ve no idea what my mum did. he never blame me, he said my mum's character is like that, he can't blame her too.
final decision is we decided to hold the fullmth party. hubby told me to go & find buffet & fullmth cakes & ve to hurry as time is running out...
sign...i tink my confinement is really a nightmare.....sorry for long story....
as for the buffet, it's true that your mum has no right to interfere cos it'll not be done in her house...
i'm surprised that your in-laws actually give in so much! cos during a full month party, baby is the main lead! Everyone wants to see the baby but they still give in, say can dont't bring baby to the fullmth party...
are you still looking for full month cakes?? i ordered from sweetest moments and their cakes and ang ku kway are delicious, esp ang ku kway... you might want to check it out: www.sweetestmoments.com.sg
their mochi also very nice!!!!! kekeke.. buy 10 get 1 free .....
anyway, look at it this way.. since a decision is made, then dont fret over it kkx? get yourself busy with the preparing.. cuz when you're busy, you wun think so much... just enjoy the company of your lil one when you choosing the cakes n everything.... mayb you might wanna ask lil Keith which one he want to give to the "elderlies" ... hahahaha..
well, i guess sometimes we need to view things with an open mind n heart then decide who is the good guys or the troublemaker.
since already decided then go ahead n try to cheer up .
ya, i tink no pt giving her cakes since she insisted on vouchers. she kept stressing to me that her side no1 will accept the cakes but vouchers yes. i told her stop stressing me, leave it to me & husband to settle.
my hubby super piss with my mum now. when im pregnant, my mum kept saying negative things to me like aiyo dont go and c this, dont go here, dont go there, dont tis dont that. makes me very irritated.
& now after i gave birth, my mum did confinement for me 1 week. i had no idea she was going to do for me a week. she even engaged another confinement aunty without my knowledge or even asked my hubby iszit ok to hire her. on the other hand, my mother in law also ve CL who can immediately do for me(cos my case is last min waterbag broke) but my mum firmly rejected my mother in law, said everything is under her control.
the 1wk at my house was a nightmare. she did not wake up for baby nites feeds, complaint to my hubby that baby woke her up at 5.45am. 1st nite my hubby said he c the way my mum do, he very angry, so nxt few nites we took care of baby ourselves.
best thing was, after discharged from hospital, i fell sick with cough, flu & sore throat. cos i had c-sect, cannot eat heaty food for few days cos of wound & im also sick. yet my mum brew longan red dates until very thick, force me to drink, cooked very heaty food with red wine until the whole dish is so red(you wont believe it) & force me to finished every single food including the red wine. my inlaws c very shocked & when my CL finally came, i was so relieved, even she said my mum is trying to kill me!
& when my relatives came to give angbaos & wine, my mum stopped my hubby from keeping the wines in storeroom, she told him she wants to let his parents c. my hubby ask me what is she trying to do? show off? then my mum bought lots of tonics, also display at kitchen, wen my mother in law came, she tel her 1 by 1 how much is each & every item. my mother in law aked my hubby does she ve to pay my mum back?
the day when my waterbag broke, i panicked & quickly went home with my mum to pack some things, then my hubby came home with his mum. my mum told them NOT TO follow us to the hospital, after i gave birth she will inform them & even told my mother in law to stay at my house, take down all the baby clothes & mop floor. my hubby was so angry! he said my mum treats his mum like a maid! & most ridiculous thing is tel them dont follow to hospital. he said he's my husband & he have to go with me no matter what!so endup all of us went to hospital together.
i think your mum suffer from the "panicky-for-first-grandchild-arrival" disease.. she too extreme liaoz lahz... she from start also dont lyk your dear husband izzit??
dont know if you ladies were told the same thing but a friend of mine told me that there is an unspoken hierarchy among the old folks whereby the mother in law's decision and desires comes above the mother's when it's regarding us ladies . For the men, it's basically the husband's mother who calls the shots. Meaning for your mum to not consider your mother in law's suggestion or to insist on so much means that she's overstepping her limits as the mother - in my friend's words, "she doesn't know how to be an in-law" - which is why I can see that your husband is angry.
Aiii...that whole "first grandchild" thing is annoying, that I can tell you. Have you tried telling your mum to tone it down? It's not good if you and your husband are fighting and it's mostly because of her. :S
Chill! No need to jump down over small matters.
Scare of flu virus? Get your baby to wear a mask to cover up during celebration. Red eggs just get from the cake shop's package. Some package comes with the red eggs and the ang ku kuay. But ask your husband to pay.
My mom wants cakes for her side, I say who cares. Ask her get her own and give. dont't really know what's the celebration for anyway. Why only celebrate 1st month? Not 2nd or 3rd month.
Last edited by Oppsgal; 01-07-2009 at 06:52 PM.
wow your mother very scary !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
esp when she ask your hubby not to follow you to the hospital, 1st time heard before...
I know some people think it's very bad of me to scold my own mum but if what she say/do is going to have a negative impact on me and my husband plus baby, I dont't care. For me, my immediate family comes first plus it's only fair that I stand up for my marriage since I expect my husband to do the same if it were his mum giving us problems.
So sorry to hear this. Hope you guys can sort things out quickly,you need a lot of rest for your body to recover. TC
sometimes i will also scold my mum when she say things very no link.
and when she say certain myths to me, i will ask her, who told her that, n she tell me OLD PPL.
omg, i say old ppl frm where, she will just say, old ppl is old ppl. (means she dont know who! LOL!)
so i tell her, you also dont know hear from where, n i say mine is DOCTOR tell me , or i go research online n i find out .
but mostly, harmless things i wont bother just let her do it.
but from my mum took care of me n my 2 sisters til my younger sis went to sec sch, so i believe she is very experience so i trust what she is doing. n she can take very good care of pin too!
i just hope my future mother in law wont pose any probs to me!
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
dont let your hubby follow? n your mother in law?
everyone is sure to be excited !
when i was in labour, my dad side almost whole family came!!!
my mum can tel me dont everything listen to doc when i told her stop giving my son so much water! she dont listen & insisted on her own way until my CL even told her little bit of water is fine, not too much then she keep quiet! super piss!
now my mum changed her mind when i told her i will throw fullmth party as planned. then she said she will call her side ppl come(my aunties & grandma). she so fickler-minded! perviously said NO 1 will be free to come. now come n say ok she will call her side ppl come. crazy!
Last edited by meiteoh; 02-07-2009 at 05:42 PM.
haha my mum also very ficker minded, think most women are lik that .. cos i also.. LOL!!
since the celebration thing is confirm alrdy, then just plan and do it happily..
Ya, actually too much water is no good for baby too as it will dilute his blood.. for me i didnt really give my baby water be it my baby feed on breastmilk or formula, i only waited till she's 6mths old then i give my baby water when she started solid.. and i'm angry too that my mother in law go and feed my baby water at 3mths and she's gt choke on it...
but due to this very hot weather, one or two drips is fine and not more than that cos i ever too seek my pediatrician's advise on this too...
and we sometimes cant seem to agree with some of our elderly's methods in looking after the baby but somehow some of their methods can be very useful too..
Last edited by annie03; 02-07-2009 at 05:09 PM.