It's easy to be happy when things are going great. The real power of happiness, however, comes in times of difficulty. A dismal, dejected attitude will only hold you back. A positive, joyful approach can move you quickly ahead.
Sure it's tough to be positive when there's no reason to be. It's difficult, and yet it is possible. Accept for a moment that it is possible, and that it is beneficial. Then ask yourself if you would like to reap that benefit. Find your joy not in mere circumstances, but rather with that part of you which transcends the circumstances.
Being married doesn’t mean the fun has to end. Many successful couples work diligently to associate their partners with positive experiences. To maintain that experience, we need to once again bring courtship into our marriage. Why? Because, passion can only survive and thrive if the couple continues to “date” even after they marry.
How? Remember when you first met? Life seemed to shimmer with love. Everything looked brighter, food tasted better, and everything you saw, smelled, and touched was marvellously. It was as though you were floating on air... you never got tired or bored... your out look was optimistic... and you felt wonderful, even beautiful. The hours you spent with your newly-found ideal partner were timeless, and you felt you had known each other all your lives! While you are courting your ideal partner, romance fills your hours together.
Over a lifespan; love changes. But it becomes no less intimate, no less meaningful, and no less important. The romance flame fades, deep bury in the ground, aren’t noticed, and aren’t remembered. But your marriage does not need to end that way.
In the best romance novels, you’re left in no doubt that the couple will still be courting each other long after they say “I do”. However, how many couples of a few years of marriage, far less as lifetime together, remember to give each other even one hug a day? Yet, this is the essence of bringing courting into marriage.
Finally, after being married for number of years, I realized that, in marriage, little things make big differences. Some of these “little” things will make a dramatic difference almost immediately, while others will take time. A lot depends on the condition of the marriage at the moment. Regardless of your attitude when you start the procedures, the process of doing them will ultimately produce results (if you endure patiently).
So make an effort to keep doing the small “courting things” you both enjoy at the beginning.
On the other hand, if there were long standing issues it will be difficult for one partner to indicate the change. That why we have a marriage counsellor. If you interested I can recommend, pls PM me. Another option is to go to the nearest Family Service Centre.
I wish you the best.