This is a discussion on Seriously?! within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; Originally Posted by Ting already so tired, still need to live in fear of your mother in law~(as in fear ...
i pray hard i wont have.... hahah!
so huhh, more or less will have 1-2 monsters from inlwas side one... haha...
You know I am *STILL* doing my sleep training because my hubby keeps on interrupting. So frustrating.
The other day we left dear daughter with my mother in law for the first-time to babysit as it was my birthday and we wanted to spend the day out alone. I packed everything properly for her, milk powder, bottle, handkerchief, diapers, extra set of clothes to change into. We left her around 11am, and went back to get dear daughter around 6pm.
You know what? She never change the diaper!!! I remember I pack 2 diapers, come back also 2 diapers in the bag. Then my girl was drooling so much but she didn't change into the extra set of clothes I brought. Gosh.
And that day she totally screw up my sleep training. Carry and rock her to sleep. We had so much problems getting her to go to bed that night!!!
Also his know-it-all aunty gave us a cream to put for dear daughter's eczema. She say last time use on dont't know who very good, then keep telling us to use it. & you know I found out from the dermatologist at NSC that it's a very strong steroid cream!!! dear daughter's skin got white patches now because of that. Somemore after we told her very nicely, she didn't even feel guilty about it at all!
Sometimes I really wonder how I am going to carry on like this. Why doesn't he understand why I am doing certain things? I explained to him, but he dont't get it at all, can even talk back to me. He does not have to deal with her nonsense everyday, but I have to and I dont't have all the time to sit in front of her and entertain her (I need to do work & homework). To him, he comes home after work and can just play and entertain her whenever she calls. I have to tell him that he is cultivating a bad habit, that whenever she cries she expects someone to come to her immediately. But he dont't get it.
My parents admit that she sticks to me a lot (because we spend everyday together), but they dont't seem supportive of my ways. My mother in law, dont't say already, little bit of noise she will think that something horrible has happened to dear daughter.
I really feel like I am doing this all alone, and that nobody can see my intentions. I am her mother, would I torture her and abuse her? I just want things to be the best for the both of us. To maintain my sanity, and to nurture her well.
It's so hard when he dont't see where I'm coming from, or thinks that certain things are okay. I really wonder, what on earth have I gotten myself into for having this child?!
sometimes my parents also dont agree with my ways of taking care dear son... i prefer to carry and pat him sleep. while my dad prefers to put him in sarong and shake him until he sleep... it's really very hard for ppl to stop commenting and stop teaching us what to do.. they just dont understand we, as the mothers will know how to take care our own babies in our own unique ways, dont have and dont need to teach...
I'm feeling more in despair because my hubby doesn't seem to support what I do. I've been trying hard to explain to him, use soft & hard method, but he doesn't seem to understand. He cannot stand it when dear daughter cries and cries and cries. Now she knows how to whine and all he can say is her character is just like me. I said character like me, but doesn't mean he can encourage that behavior right?
I also hate it when my parents or hubby says her character follow me, and that she behaves certain way because I'm like that too. Like whatever behavior she displays is because I pass it on to her, not because of our actions that cause her to be like that. Why do people keep seeing dear daughter as a photocopy of me? She is a unique individual, a baby. She is NOT a clone of me!!!
mayb you can try passing your dear daughter to your hubby for 1 day, you go out with your friends.. let him take care of your dear daughter, let him know hw tough it is to be a stay at home mum.. think after that he will not be so bochap or say stupid things to you anymore.. last time my hubby always think that taking care of dear son is so easy until i threw dear son to him one day and walk out of the house.. my mum also, now she will 'beg' me to stay at home when i say i wanna go out to get some stuffs.. cos now dear son only wants me... so my mum just leave it up to me on how i wanna handle him, since dear son is more sticky to me alrdy =)
This is the same problem as with trying to re-train her sleeping habits. He will go in and try to calm her to sleep, and he will come back to me and say, "See so easy, just sayang her only what, then she sleep already mah." But like I said, this is definitely not the way to go for me if I have to do this every single night for the next few years! But I have to say he is getting slightly better now.
On nights when I'm super bo chap, I will tell him, "I can bear with the crying, if you cannot you go and pacify her ." And knowing him, he will of course go to quieten her down. After 3 days of doing it, he told me he dont't know what to do with her