This is a discussion on An unhappy confinement period within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; Originally Posted by bbgal_2010 BEst mother dae gift is my monster go back to malaysia...that is the best gift ever!!! ...
Counting dwn the daes..10 more daes...=)
10 more days to your mother in law leaving singapore???
deleted. too much personal details.
Last edited by tanglin; 10-05-2010 at 05:40 PM.
old folks' thinking sama sama. at that time my mother in law also said we are to skip bathing the baby for that entire day if it happens to be a rainy day. but he perspired so much cos everytime he's sleeping she will wrap layers of blankets & thick towels around him.
btw, did your doc/pediatrician give you any fever med to stand by? it will be good to ask for some when you have to bring baby for jab.
your mother in law leaving soon right? jia you jia you! you've made it thru so far..just less than a week to go!
We also had cordial rship so far before my girl came along, but I knew it wasn't easy already. Cos I was living with them since marriage and I always wanted to escape from the house each weekend or when I'm clearing leave. Sometimes even when I'm on MC!
Now it's really quite sour largely bcos I got very bad temper and flare up. dont even care that they are my ILs... I talk back . So I find it very hard to stop doing so and be nice and subservient all over again. Can't wait to move out though I know it will be a different set of bigger problems being stay at home mum on my own, with hubby...
Stay at Home Mummy
I went to see my mother in law yesterday for dinner with my husband.First thing she asked was WHERE ARE MY GRANDSONS.Crap she has only been to see my sons elder 1-about 6 times since birth.He is 23 mths now.younger son 8 mths-3 times.twice after birth when i was still in hospital and once when my baby went through his op.Even when she came to visit him after his op she just came look see look see then went gossiping to other beds.Imagine her scolding me without looking at the time it was 10 pm.i PUT MY SONS TO SLEEP FIRST WITH MY MUM AND HELPER WATCHING THEM BEFORE I CAME.Then she started nagging and nagging and my husband paid me $200 in advance not to answer her back so i had no choice i did not want her to insist on us comming to her house 2 morrow so i just kept quiet.What the hell is wrong with this funny mother in law. Insecure is it???? I told my hubb last night was the last time i am giving her face cause i dont believe she did a PERFECT JOB IN RAISING HIM AND HIS SIBLINGS UP.
that time when my mother in law & her sisters came to visit us in hospital after delivery, they also just took one glance at the baby and spent the rest of their visit checking out the room, rec kee everything from toilet to meal contents, made comments here and there and asked their #1 favourite question, 'how much?" oh ya, they also commented amongst themselves right in front of me that i still looked fat even though i've delivered. hello, it's only one day after delivery??
but if you are the no nonsense kind, it will be better to put up with these inconveniences and move out to restore your sanity. cos it just gets more intolerable in the long run.
btw, Happy Mother's Day to you and all other mommies on this thread! we didn't have it easy compared to other moms blessed with helpful inlaws, but we still made it through all these while, so i think everyone of us deserve a good pat on the back!
todae i reali hate her so much...bought her for dinner to celebrate mother's day she request us to buy a new house in malaysia for her as mother's dae present..then sell the old house away...as she tok to her xiao gu n they are arranging her to view the house when she is back to malacca...arrrrrrrrr i nver say i want buy house ...what rubbish is she gving mi now...she said that old house to big to tidy as she is alone in the house she is veri tired of hsekeeping...i told her if that is the case i will employed a maid for her isn't it going to make more sense? She replied me..old house now sell can fetch better price..then? the house sell $ also kept by her..then new house we pay? Therefore i cor his sister's n brother up to discuss bout this matter..wah...all telling mi no $ n also decision is all up to mi n my hubby...n if i say NO...i"m the bad guy coz I'm singaporean..proud..dont want take out $..but if i take out this sum of $..i kinda think that i'm so stupit coz no 1 want to put in a share in it n my hubby said take it as investment...but helo what if we in need of $ isn't it going to tighten up our pocket? Esp..with a newborn baby now...i can't predict what if i in need of $? What should i do? Esp she told all her relatives now she going to move new house...
investment? a house in malacca?
Firstly will the new house be under her name or your name? Next time if need money and if its under her name then how, and if she's still alive and staying there, then how? If need money urgently, plan to ask her to move out ?
Do what you feel that its best, its your money. dont't need to look at their faces or HER face. Your baby comes first. And since when does nationality comes into factor.
Do your own financial calculation and show the figures to your husband whether or not he has the extra cash to invest. He might not be aware of how much he might need to come out every month, and you'll need to save some money for the baby's future as well. Or is he planning to bank all the savings into his "investment" ?
Why does being a singaporean means you need to pay? And if you dont't take out means that you are being proud? You have a baby now, a family, you'll need to consider if its viable to tie up your money in property especially when you might need the money urgently. Property takes time to liquidate especially if the area is not that popular. I had seen quite a number of empty houses filled with weeds, for sale, so imagine this if there's no takers for the house and you are stuck with the need for urgent cash.
Sorry babe, I'm not trying to be depressive here, but you would need to consider the "what ifs" and the worst case scenario, and if you have any back up cash. Investment is when you have the extra money to play around with, and considering that you are actually buying her a new home, you can consider it gone. Unless your husband is willing to chase her out of the house when the need arise. Talk to him about it.
AS for her telling the whole world about moving into a new home, just ignore her. Let her do the explaination if she doesn't have a new home to move into. Whether you become the good or bad guy, just ignore them. If you wish, you can call his sister and brother to explain that you are financially tight and need to consider for the baby as well, thus is unable to commit into a new home for the mother. I'm sure that they'll understand. And probably could help take your side when those san gu lu po gossip.
If you dont wish to see her coming to your house every now and then or requesting all of you to move into the "new" house in future, then stand firm in your stand. That is NOT TO AGREE IN BUYING A NEW HOUSE.
Once you buy it, in future if you are forced to move over or see her coming over almost daily, you really cant blame anyone. You chose to buy it so you should have bear the consequences.
Of course, be prepared to tolerate her nonsense for the rest of your life. I dont think your hubby going to help any side, just stay at work late before coming home.
Is your mother in law trying to get you to buy a house in JB area? I stayed in JB (not with inlaws) and nowadays houses in JB is not as cheap as they are used to be. A new 2 storey intermediate house cost at least 300k in ringgit.
babe, she wanna move new house can, tell her, use the proceeds of the old house to buy a new one.
say you no money.
if your hubby can afford, ask him to pay himself. but before that, make sure he is putting aside a substantial amt for you n baby.
the rest, he wanna invest then invest..
if he doesnt have enuf money, then tell him to FACE THE FACTS n tell his mum himself.
his mum wanna show off she is moving house then let her be. anyway, end up also she paiseh.
make your stand clear, if his siblings wanna agree to get new house for their mum, then ALL have to chip in.
let them know, its ALL or nothing.
n since she say old house so big, then buy a small new house. say a one room one hall or 2 rooms one hall or something.
give excuse that she dont have to clean up so much since small house.
also an excuse that you dont have to move over to her new place since there is not enough rooms.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
babe, can buy and invest on the house, but make sure the house is under you and your hubby's name. she just stay in that house nia.
and who say singaporean means must pay money for inlaws? they thought you very rich? pls lahh, even you rich also doesnt mean you HAVE to buy house for her. and somemore SG living standard is so high, the more you earn means you also hav to spend more.
And a mothers day gift turns out to be a house be careful fathers day gift turn out to be Bently or Lambo how?
wah..your mother in law's appetite very big .
a house for mother's day present?
then what will you have to buy her next year, a luxury car to go with it?
agree with Renzie - work out the exact figures you need to fork out every month for the next ?? years and show it to your hubby. also list down all your current monthly expenditure and future ones like your girl's education, healthcare etc. if he's the money conscious kind, it will jolt him awake immediately to make the right decision even without you saying anything more. sometimes dollars and cents talk better sense to the men than their wives..
honestly, in a situation like this i'd rather be the bad guy than to take on a commitment like this. after all, it's not as if your mother in law has to sleep on the streets if you dont't buy her a house, nor is she living an uneasy life under someone else's roof. more so when she can easily use the proceeds of her current one to downgrade to a smaller one that she claims to prefer. so what if you really buy her a house? will she start to treat you like her own daughter then? if the rest of your hubby's siblings and relatives think you're the bad guy, then ask them to play the good guy and buy her the house themselves.