Dear TS , overall i think your hubby is a good man .
Sometimes we can get so frustrate by the baby that we tend to do things out of the normal us but should not vent it on the baby.
So please ensure your hubby do not shake the baby too hard as there is something call the shaken baby syndrome .
For the personal saving , your friend is right . Woman should have some personal saving incase of "D" -at least this is how i feel .
But then i fork half of the renovation and my hubby also fork out half . Everything 50% each so that we do not need to take the loan
In your case , it seems that taking the loan is a "must", only the length of the loan will varies depend if you are taking out your personal saving .
My question is who is going to pay for the loan ? You or your hubby ? If share half-half , then take the loan and keep your personal saving for raining day .
Also regarding the baby expenses , me and my hubby share 50% each for the nanny . The rest like milk powder , diapers etc - depend who free who buy .
Never touch joint account for such trival things .
Also , please do talk to your hubby regarding his outburst and the "D" word he mentioned. Tell him how you felt about the epsiode . Work things out . Communicate is the key .
It is easy to get marry and divorce but the hard part is to maintain the marriage.