I can offer No.3.
This is a discussion on What can I do to help ppl in need? within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; I asked myself this question a lot, especially after reading Fiona's and Julee's thread. And so I'll start off, to ...
I asked myself this question a lot, especially after reading Fiona's and Julee's thread. And so I'll start off, to consolidate all the help one can generously offer to those in need, contributing money, care, preloved items, services and etc
For me, I'm not well-off, but can still gladly
1. Contribute up to $100/month to help those in need. You can return me when you're better off, or not (I dont expect to be return)
2. Help you take care of your kid when you're working, anytime except office hours. Weekday evenings and weekends are okay.
3. Treat you out for a dinner to pour out your hearts...and tears
For those who can and want to help, maybe you can put your offer here, and takers please respond thru PM (private message). This way, confidentiality is assured!!
Looking forward to a better place to live in for everyone.
I can offer No.3.
Anyway i tink it better for them to tell us what help they needed instead of us consolidate while sum might not b needed.
I guess money is really secondary among the various forms of help that is needed by them. No doubt money is absolutely necessary, it does nothing more than just covering daily expenditures.
1. Support Group
Most people with problems are often in seek of one thing, that is to be heard. Like in Julee's case, she can't openly speak about the problem to her or his friends and this results in her bottling everything inside her. What she needs is someone who understands her, spare her a listening ear. A good advisor or counselling friend is a bonus because that will help her in planning her steps.
2. Activity Groups
Something like team-building groups. I am not sure how it goes in Mummy-SG but regular family gatherings can help provide support and enhance cohesiveness in a family at times. When a neglecting husband starts to see how another husband dotes on the other wife, it might have a positive effect on him to do more for his wife.
3. Family Intervention
This is not easy to accomplish, as it requires a certain amount of maturity and counselling experience. For those who deals with social works, can intervene only when requested. They can act as mediation parties to sit both the husband and wife down and talk things through. This will also ensure the safety for either party in case of domestic violence. Having a friend in this position is far better than a complete stranger like social worker or counsellors in Family Centres.
4. Monetary Assistance
It's possible, but monetary donations is a very sensitive thing. It concerns the integrity of the "treasurer" and everything has to be put out very transparently. However, being transparent also possibly means being open which who is receiving how much and for what reasons. We have to be sensitive with their feelings that not every receiver will want to be openly identified.
Real heroes are men who fall, fail and are flawed, but win out in the end because they stayed true to their ideals, beliefs and commitments. Actor Kevin Costner
i agree endoh.. i deft need listening ears, a shoulder to cry on, encouraging words & such...
just by reading how much even strangers care about my situation make me feel better. that at least, someone cares..
and again THANK YOU.....
Helping in the form of money is good .... for those not well-off. But will make ppl paiseh to take fm you cos dont see a reason for you to give w/o strings.
I was being sponsored for a 4 digit course by somebody really nice - expecting no return. I was so paiseh, I turned down a few times, cook up excuses n finally still attended.
My donor was so nice, she even invited me and kids over to play (she got a pool). When I gave the reason of nobody to take care of my special child if I attend the 5day course, she offered her maid ..... some ppl nice to the extreme till I dont know how to face them.
I know there's no way I can repay but the thot of taking something (especially a stranger) doesnt make me feel good .... 1 yr still felt the same. The only thing I can do is to send Xmas card. Not sure how I can express thanks to the fullest.
In my case, if somebody can bond n take care of my special child for a day ..... let me breath, I'll be very happy. Too bad, it's not easy to find a suitable person.
Dear Bunnykiss and all beloved,
All the following are just my humble opinions.. Not targeting anyone esp Julee and Fiona..
We always love to help eager!! Our hearts are kind and big with compassion..
Well, for some cases, they are not really genuinely in help.. For eg, some will twist certain stuff to make us into believing them.. Gifts, preloved stuff started pouring in etc, some time cash too.. Many the times, it's not life and death situations and they have own parents, siblings or even relatives and friends to lend ears and hands..
Energy and concern used on such person to find that they have lie!! To me personally, lying to achieve material gain are equal to cheats.. To the givers, when such things happened, imagine how hurt and disappointed the giver can be?
Hence, now I choose to provide friendship with preloved items perhaps..
Pls open our eyes BIG BIG and do not be like me eyes blinded with shits!!
Ya, agree with Aby, we want to help those TRULY in-need and not someone who just abuse our concern and trust.
take this real case
I know somebody who took subsidies and gifts fm well wishers. She tell ppl she no $, she requested this and that eg diapers. You know what, she just bought a new car!! Not sure what sort of document (salary, bills, etc) she provided to show her family is 'poor' thus needed subsidies. I spoke to another friend, she told me ppl who doesnt have a proper payslip can cook up any figure. When need to show off, the salary will be high. When need to get freebies n subsidies, must provide a low figure. Not sure what the social worker doing. Ppl alerted social worker (she liked to boast so we knew she could afford), she dared to say she trusted what applicants provided!
Guess the safest is still a listening ear, gatherings/outings ....
Truely agree. There are always ppl who cannot wait to swallow others. While exploring some opportunities outside, I've meet some. Let them enjoy the fruit of their wickedness in time to come.
But if someone really in deep need for help, a matter of live and death, we have a chance to help but we didn't. The worst we lose is a small sum of money or time, but if that person is in dire state, the good is we help the person to endure the darkest moment of her life.
Have actually reported a case to MCYS which invloved KKSH and CDC handouts freebies and subsidised CC and free of charge hospital service to one who have a car to drive and staying in a condo.. sigh !! She purposely registered her addy under her mom's HDB unit ! And claimed that she's a breastfeeding counsellor and a leader at a group !! All LIES!!!
The MCYS staff was reall rude when I enquired etc, kept saying P&C etc.. And when I mentioned about a police case, he was so rude in his tone hinting not to use police to scare him.. Well I am not and I tell him I was merely doing a citizen's responsibilty to report and informing him! And I told him sternly.. Such handouts are all tax payers' hard earned (blood and sweat) money ! So better do a thorough job when approving and keep tracking regularly..
Some are really out to CHEAT!!! But GOD is good!! Also show us their real motivesbefore more pour in to help! There are genuine cases out there which require our kind attention , right?!
To such people out there who are reading this thread!!! You must be really angry yah? Why not look into your own reflectionsand examine your hearts.. you lied!!! Dare to be truthful to yourselves? All of us are mommies!! Have you thought of your kids? Would you want them to grow up like you? Do unto others what you like others to do unto you!!
And to the rest of SUPER NICE mommies here and outside this forum! It's such a GREAT good feeling to help right? Yeah! We who have helped actually dont't expect anything in return but TRUE FRIENDSHIP, right? And also to see them on their feet, blissful and confident!
GOD sees everything! HE judge too!
GOD bless all! And bless those who had done wrong with a repentent heart to be truthful to themselves! And heal those who are hurt! And especially protect all our kids!!
There are really many kind of ppl around in this world and i guess it's all these that always harden a person's heart.....
Still let's be soft to the ppl in need..... God want us to bless, so continue to bless... for the receiver, it will be between Him and him....
if people need your help, they will come to you instead of you offering redundent help ... oops... forgive me if i'm too straightforward..
would help out in watever i can, but confirm not giving money.. if lacking of baby stuffs i rather buy then give her rather then money as sometimes some ppl would make use of kind heart ppl n cheat e money then donno use where, looking after kids sure no problem e more e merrier wahahha, my house is child care lol.. then gathering is sure ok cos lending a ears is just a simplest help i can do, hehe..
For my case, financially i can still managed but like to look for a helper to help out and take care of my kids during my confinement period coz nowadays confinement lady are really exp!
I stay in Serangoon North...dont mind to offer help on Wednesday night and Saturday/Sunday, as dear son wont be with me...
Kindly elaborate your timing, location, help area and period, how many kids and age...
I'm so proud of the mummies here!
You mamas have BIG HEARTS!
love you all!