This is a discussion on Why can't you accept that she and i are JUST FRIENDS? within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; Originally Posted by liang`jia hey, wah....urs is really an big event ....i think i have no choice, no time already, ...
thanks thanks, the design was by me and hubby. . . we order from stay at home mum AiMummy
as the details was quite a bit. so it was $250 loh.
went to view her site, its fully book till nov ...
hahaha,....now this one become a bifdae discussion liaozzzz!!! outta topiczzzz...kekeke
miss autumn , starter of topic diversion....hahahaha
When she thinks negative, we will try to tell her the positive direction, she will agree for a few minutes then after that she will come back to us again and ask the same questions and give the same negative thinking.. because when she thinks back, she still think she is not in the wrong, we are the one who is wrong in the thinking......
We try not to oppose her thinking by admitting her thinking is correct,,, she will start crying and say if her thinking is correct then she is doomed then try go and hurt herself... so we did consult doc how to deal with it.. doc told us to ignore her questioning.. because we said yes , she thinks wrong.. we agreed with her, she will said she is doomed.
So we can oni depend on medication and bring her back to her childhood place where she feels it's the best moment for her.. so we brought her back to hometown...now my parents said... it's improving so we will continue to observe her condition.
Some ppl maybe pesimmistic but if the character is soft type.. they are prone to accept other ppl's thinking when they feel helpless.. if the person is stubborn or never think tht he/she can be wrong, then it's hard ...
I believe pesimistic can be slowly improve to a more positive thinking but totally become optimistic in life is mission impossible. It can be improved but the person & family & friends need to work hard on it. It'seasier to change ourselves than changing others... friends & family can onli infuence us to have new thinking...soemthing like tht
apologies for the delayed response, me quite busy lately so never signed in....
the pooh bear sence setter i bot online one from ebay, the contact detail is : email@example.com
did not get in touch with her ever since....
however, she has a piece of good news.
she tagged along with her husband last sunday for one of those outings that he claimed to go out with a bunch of friends with (includg that girl)
she found out that girl is attached and has R.O.M liaoz
so i told her its GOOD NEWS!
but somehow her husband is still cold towards her, refused to send kids to school, did not talk to her much etc....and refused to patch back their relationship....
dont know what is causing this....
and still smsing...sometimes in the middle of the night and early early in the morning....
leaving him alone now , no other options also what, rite?
he is not willing to open up....and talk
everytime she asks him the answer is "can i choose not to answer yr question?"
i suppose the gal all the while got bf but still hang out w the guy. both know they cant break up / divorce. just like that. due to responsibilities. also 'cause dont want to face all the trouble (e.g. relatives, parents nagging,...) so guy cont w wife. gal cont w ROM. but they'll still cont to keep in touch. still have feelings for each other. maybe even cont to have fling secretly. unless 1 of them puts a stop to it, say enough is enough, if not, or the innocent parties found out, their fling can cont forever. guy n gal will def cont enjoying each other, while still having their other half w them. have best of both worlds.
just outta topic a while
please read our 1st gathering event:
i also have the same problem.. there is a gal keeps smsing my bf..keeps asking him to acc her.. and my bf will actually go and acc her. They even went out alone for meals and movies. But i feeling very uncomfortable about it..though he will inform me that they are going out together. During a small gathering, the gal and her friend acted very friendly to me in front of my bf, but at his back, they gave me a smirking look. I feel so hurt about it.. i dont know what my bf told them.
And because of all these.. i actually quarrelled with him... feeling so insecure.. he told me that they are just friends.. and i dont trust him..I dont know what to do .. just keep to myself..
I dont't think guys and girls can really be "just friends". They can be acquaintances but if they are close, eventually sparks will fly. If it is not the guy who gets attracted to the girl, then it is the girl who will get attracted to the guy.
Control your temper. Be even nicer to your BF that way, your BF have no excuse to go to the other girl.
sometimes the sparkles is just for excitement...
you have to gauge and know what your bf/hubby would do till his maximum extend... sorry my english........
but what i mean is... if your bf/hubby noes his limit... then harmless sparkles/ harmless flirt is nothing
to the extend of... meet gerr-friend........... heartbeat bommbommbomm excitement can ... no further stuff...........
Hey thanks all for the advice.. what i'm doing now is just let him be..let the kite loose up abit yA..
CanCanMum, I was looking for solution and came across to this old posting from you. I hope thing are fine now for you and your husband.
I dont know how to start off my story.
In Jan 2016, I took the courage and confronted my husband. Of course, he dont admit in the 1st place and said that I am thinking too much.
And ask what evidences do I had. He told me dont ruin our relationship with this silly thinking. Actually, I did had the evidences- I saw the "i LOVE you" massage he sent to her!! But i didnt mention that out. I told him dont lie and treat me like a fool. I kept quite becos i know I need more evidences.
I called the girl out. I saw her a few times. My husband intro her to us with no hiding. He even invite her to our baby shower and twice to our house for dinner! He wanted to make things look normal; that both of them are just friend that can click well. Hello!!! she was like 9yrs younger than him!! click well???
I cut the story short. I called the gal out after my husband denial everything. The gal actually look very innocent and quite. When I confront her, I still want to believe that maybe is true. They are just good friends. Again, she denial like what my husband did. She even have the guts to told me they always go out in a group and in pubic places, what can they do! I still feel a relief as they did not have body contact! how stupid I am... I did not slap or scolded her. turned out I was comforting her! What a failure I am! I actually comforting the 3rd party gal!! And she dare to say she just want to treat us like family....
But some how i knew I cant buy in to both sides stories. I continued to press my husband. He did not admit directly but wanted to start all over again with me. However, he ask even if he continue as normal friend with her is not ok? She was alone her (She was a malaysian) with no much friends. I was like.... you mean you cannot get over her?? I told him dont contact her for time being can? he nodded.
But he did not kept his promises. He still texting her. That was when I had more evidences. They actually went to hotel, her rental house, even in the public!!! HE even use texting and video call her to clear his urge!!! That's explain why he always on the phone and hide in the toilet!!! I could believe when I was reading their disgusting texting! And the gal, have the gut to told me they did nothing. I purposely called the gal again and asked her she went hotel with him? She denial and even told me how I know he book hotel and comfort me that maybe he help others do the booking. I confronted my husband and he also replied the same thing. Well, looks like she told him i looked for her.
In feb, my husband suddenly told me he cleared everything with her. But she only have one condition is hoping to have a chance, after the incident is over, to visit my baby. When he told me the news, he was crying. Crying very badly. I was thinking, his cried was becos I forced them to breakup or he feel sorry to me? I told him I did prepare for the worst. I am oki to leave becos I saw his text to her. He wished she was his wife and cannot live without her. He have no much feeling of me...
He told me dont doubt his love for me. He will slowly get back to me.
Now, yes, things seem better. He will text me where he is and what he is doing. But in the past he also did that. And the gal was just beside him! He not always on the phone. We communicate more and he showing more concerns to me and baby.
I dont want to doubts his love and changes, but I cant help it. I feel that he is only containing the whole thing. Bcos he ever text her if she ever left him or he has to lost him, he rather die. I ever told him, if he really have no love, please let me go. Dont make me stay becos of his "face". He didnt want ppl to call him the "bad guy". I feel his coming back is bcos of he dont want friends or relatives to say behind his back.
I have doubt now becos he now locked his phone!....
Should I dig further? or remind dumb? Since he is committed to me and the house now. But somehow, I feel the love is not there.
I have thoughts of creating a story to him that a I am having an affairs, and wanted to see if he care!
I really not sure how truthful is he now. I cant help to doubt him bcos now he locked his hp. I knew he wanted to hide something from me. Yes maybe he really put her down. And is only showing concerns to her as a friend. But they were once so intimate and enjoy each other on bed. I cant help but to think if i still let them continue be friend, will they re start the relationship again?
Actually i really put down alot and wanted to forgive the gal.
But really afraid my forgiveness is a chance for them to reconcile again...