This is a discussion on Why can't you accept that she and i are JUST FRIENDS? within the Home Life, Relationships & Finance forum, part of the You and Your Family category; Raining sooo heavily.. take umbrella also no use.. ZzZZ.. Damn.. still need to bring my dear son along.. *shakes head* Chat ...
Raining sooo heavily.. take umbrella also no use.. ZzZZ.. Damn.. still need to bring my dear son along.. *shakes head*
Chat later babes.. ~~
now depends on my dear daughter want to come out before or after my birthday ... if before I be a mum of 2 at 24 or after will be mum of 2 at 25... hahahaha...
very sudden ? that time when me n ex bf break up, shock both friends, family n relatives 'cause all think we gg to get married soon. n we both look loving. everything like ok. nobody can imagine we'll break up 1. ex bf's dad even kena super high blood pressure. admit into hospital. lucky nothing happen.
how many bf ? 1st bf for 1 yr (think bf breakup w me 'cause i too innocent, dont even let him hold my hands). hahaha... 2nd bf for a few months (breakup w him 'cause unhygienic, no table manners). hahaha... 3rd bf 4 yrs, break up then back for another 3+ yrs. 4th bf 2-3 months (abusive). 5th bf 3 yrs, too nua about life, no goals (break up). 6th bf - my hubby.
wah... like got a lot . hahaha... but only 3 SERIOUS ones (3rd, 5th n husband). the rest actually not counted.
hahahahha, counted one for me is 3 only too...
1st counted one me betray him, so he hate me until now ---> to forever...
2nd counted one- - - > too nua, too sloppy, too.... *sigh*
3rd counted one ----> dear husband.....
hahaha... my 3rd ex bf (the 1 i'm w the LONGEST, n most dramatic relationship) also hate me 'cause after SO MANY years, i ended it. we didnt contact for years. only after 7-8 yrs (i think) then he suddenly call me. so surprised. at 1st i thot he call wrongly. he's still single. we met for dinner. but after seeing him again, i'm happy that i didnt marry him that time.
so dont b surprised 1 fine day your ex bf call you up. hahaha...
i really think her husband is going through a midlife crisis. they've been together for a very long time. he might feel trapped, restless, breathless etc
i suggest your gf move out for awhile ... bring the kids stay with grandparents. & dont't contact the husband (except if he calls her). this will allow both of them the time & space to really reflect on the state of their relationship, think about what they both want & plan for the future.
i can't say for sure if this is temporary or permanent. i dont think her husband really dont love her anymore. but he definitely needs his space. actually, if your gf stops feeling so sad or depressed & just look at things objectively (which is understandably difficult), she will probably realise she needs her space too ...
understand her too well. Shes the kind who will live life whole heartedly, cannot be half here half there. So things that fall in between wo an ending/conclusion she will not want it. dont know how is she feeling now, think she will dread going home...very poor thing for her i think...
you think he still loves her? but he said no feelings for her already, isnt it very hurting? I think i will have mental breakdown if my husband told me that. That is a very very serious comment......but she did told me prior to him telling her that they were still out having dinner, leaving the kids at MILs place, were still holding hands etc...everything seems normal, until he received an sms from that girl again...then he started behaving abnormal again...
i think giving each other a cooling off period is a good idea. your gf will have to live w it for quite a while. her husband might still have feelings for her. alot of possibilities.
guys when frustrated or angry, will say watever that comes in their mind, wont care how the receiving party will feel.
actually cooling off period would do both some good. though will b painful for your gf, but think long run. but she needs to explain to kids y want them stay grandparents' plc for time being. unless kids still very baby.
it's like a kite. mayb letting go a bit of the string, the kite will fly even higher and beautifully. if insist to hold the string tight (scared kite will fly away), the more it might snap n fly off.
if your gf really wants to save marriage, ask her to try all methods. c if her husband got reduce his sms w that gal or not. if 1 day her husband really sian , give up, he'll definitely ask your gf to stop trying n he wants to end things.
Been years, problem not solve...but as time goes by, sister just got so sick about the whole thing she just didn't bother to ask him again....and i think things get better already....
As for my coll, she suspect that her husband is having somthing with the female tenant. From indonesia, young 24yrs, and her husband 38yrs old ! From what i know, they always off the same day, go out the same timing.....something like that ....but she got very strong feeling that they even did that thing on bed!
Bastard right! sigh.....what a sinful ting to do! what kind of man this earth is having....not only man, but woman as well!
For your sis incident, never resolve eh? So she just live with it? your brother in law still msging gals? sigh.
your coll never "investigate" more eh?? Ask the tenant to leave!! Find a new one!! Oh man! Ying lang ru shi!
Hi Liang jia~
How've you been lately?
somehow my gf sounds better today becoz she has decided to let go of the kite to let it fly higher, and see if things will be better. And she said her husband seems to feel better today. Hope things will work out well. Aiyah, sometimes between friends also very hard to convince her becoz normally we will listen to elder's advices more than peers , actually now feeling a bit not very good becoz she took so long to listen to my advices (somemore i think all are good ones) + all advices from online friends that i conveyed to her......but ok , friend happy me happy .
not really over possessive but since i know them the husband is very guai one , everything listen to her 1. She say yes he will not say no . My husband also not so guai some things i tell him to do he wont listen ...so i thought she sort of kept husband well controlled and i still envy her..
then you ask him whether he feel henpecked anot hahazzzz..aiya dote you mah...ya ask them quit smoking cannot 1 ...be4 marriage say will quit but now still smoking...
Tonite I ask.. Haha. Now I dont insist him on quitting smoking oredi. I trained my dear daughter to scold her daddy when he's smoking. Ask the kids to nag at him instead. LoL.
he smoke during work only, at home never. funni he can totally dont smoke for 1 whole day then after that continue ...like weekends when we are at home whole day he wont smoke , veri flexible.
Oh ya, got at least 2 other neighbours around our house smoke outside as well, always near the stairs where my house is, so I still can smell it . So recently, I got fed up, I told dear husband if I can smell his smoke, he jolly well go downstairs to smoke instead coz dear daughter sensitive airway. Haha.
i know how she feels. i'm exactly like that too. the time apart is for her to really think about what she wants - at the end of it, she must decide yes or no. but whatever it is, she will still have to go through this process.
i dont't believe that anyone is capable to stop loving someone they have built a life with (unless the r/s is really jialat abusive + 3rd party & all that shite ). love is not just passion, or in love, or romance. love can be ... just being comfortable with your partner, appreciating the companionship & friendship ... etc. in that sense, i dont't think he has stopped loving her.
that's why they should spend time apart. besides allowing her to think, it will also allow her husband to realise what it feels like not to have his family with him anymore. can he cope without his children? will he start missing having her warm body next to him in bed?? only time will tell ... & hopefully after the entire episode, he will realise that he still loves her after all.
but your gf must be very, very strong. & prepare herself mentally for the worst.
errmm..shes not that strong, in fact she just called me and say she felt miserable...but i told her for the sake of saving this marriage she just have to be.
it will pass right??? Eventually see the light???
haiyah, he will not quit one , if he can he would have done so long ago ....waste $ also no choice...baseline is he cannot smoke in front of me ! Haha, coz i really hate hate hate cigarettes....thanks to banning it at busstops and kopitiams - really happi.
smoking neighb? Have they turned kakis?? When my husband is out with a bunch of friends as a family he also njoy the smoking kaki group..he say somehow can make a lot of friends and they can talk about almost anything under the sun ....even 1st time acquaintance...