This is a discussion on Young single mummies please fall in! within the Year 2011 and earlier Mummy forum, part of the Mummy Meeting Place category; Originally Posted by jessmummy try to take care and stay healthy for baby take vit c supplements I can't take ...
Hmzz ive hrd about cutting hair for babies when they r either 1 month or 6 mths old...neednt be the full head, can be just a lock of hair... Apparently its tradition for both chinese and malay customs if im not wrong...
But didn't follow through it cause both sides dont't feel it's compulsary...my girl has yet to ever cut her hair till now..
It'll b up to you guys....
Yeah..later stick to me so much dont't want to go school..plus my mother in law say where got hospital so good teach peoples how to bathe the baby and breastfeed the baby before they give birth..I say Kandang Kerbau Hospital got teach what I today bathe my daughter she is unhappy about it
you mean uve not bathed ure girl for a month? Newborns are generally clean , but Singapore is kinda humid... They would sweat quite abit...
Hello! I'm young single and most imptly, pregnant! Told my maternal side of family and my sisters, every single one of them told me to abort my baby, so damn annoying. Guess im the only one who uphold religious value in my family. They all made it sound as if life of an embryo is not of value since "it's not counted as a baby yet". I'm avoiding them now cos i told them im gonna think about aborting to pacify them to get outta the situation. Of course im not, im already in love w my baby and already prepared to name them either Joshua or Sara. Haha! My bf havent found the courage to tell his muslim family about this but he's still sticking around and being nice to me... hope this last, but im not counting on this. On my side, im considering what's the best way to tell my paternal family. Already sound them out about me getting married, they seem quite cool about it... i assume it means they dont mind me starting my family now?
That was a long self intro rant. I'm interested to find out how all you mommies here broke the news to your parents and how did you manage to gain their support. And if you didnt manage to gain their support, how did you deal with it. =]
Hi phiy, wads your religion, if i may ask? i rmbered asking my malay gf about it, and she say most prob is marry. i doubt wil abort for malay family. i only recently told my parents about it too.some where in end june. it took me a week and i was about 5 mths preg back then. whats more i didnt even know i was preg. my bf didnt wanna tell his parents cos he was afraid. and its not good to abort it.
when you found out ure preg? and how old are you? it was actually a very stressful period for me. cos i was afraid of my parents throwing me out. but lucky they didnt. i actually wrote a letter to my parents telling them i was really sorry about it, and wrote some incidents that made them really happy/ sad about me.
coming from a very tradiontal chinese family, usuallly they will abort, but i see my baby got heart beat and almost all form, i cannot bear to do it. some more my gynae said if i were to abort, i have a higher chance of dying in the process, and baby alive. so he said, please tell your parents about it. if i wasnt able to do so, he will tell my parents cos he knows them too. but i did . so now all's well, but just that my family isnt making my bf have the easy way out. but thank God they let us continue, and my bf loves me a lot.
So phiy, guess we 2 are lucky enough to have bfs sticking around, and i do hope your bf does the same for you too. and i advise you not to ROM yet, cos you made a mistake and dont marry suddenly just because of a baby. not that im saying, but if ure too young, there will be a possibility of getting a divorce if you two realise you dont match each other.
also, let your bf learn to be responsible, and be a man of his words if he says he will take care of you. i do hope mine does what he says too, but most prob if we get married, it will be in 4-6 yrs time. lucky my family quite like him, though hes quite negative and not matured to think carefully and cool himself down.
i do hope your family accepts the baby, and you shld tell them it is a mistake, dont for you to make another mistake by aborting a life that hasnt even been fufilled and even see how the morning sky looks like.
I dont't think my family will throw me out, but i really hate them telling me what's right. It kinda hurts to hear people trying hard to convince me to abort my child. It kinda makes me flip cos the consequences is for me to face, not them. I was thinking of waiting till after the first trimester, when my pregnancy is stable and when it's more though for them to abort my baby... then i tell them?
I always get paranoid about dropping my baby, whenever i have discharge, dont't feel my breast engorged or quarrel with my family or bf... basically every littlest thing makes me worried. So far i've been relatively happy for a few days, im hoping to maintain this for a bit longer, as long as possible! Who knows what will happen when i tell my papa. Haiya...
My bf calls this the calm before the storm.
What about finances? How did you prepare for your baby? How much to save etc. to tie through the whole last trimester and first year of baby's life? Do you really rely on your bf?
Btw, idealistically... i'd like to marry my bf with a pretty wedding when my child is 5. My bf also agrees that if we can go through this hardship and still keep our love alive till then, we can be quite sure about this life long commitment. I was never a believer in marriage but this whole hoo-ha is really swaying me. Haha!
Last edited by phiy; 11-07-2011 at 03:04 PM.
hello its still a life. if they're buddhist, all the more they shldnt abort. bf n me same religion as you too, and haha im just a yr older. slowly , you only just found out your preg, so there shld be time to save up. just make sure you eat well for now, and with minimal spending. if possible, for baby clothing, dont buy it. but try asking friends or see if people are selling it online(thou i dont like using 2nd hand stuffs) but if can save up, just save. cos delivery will be ex. but clothes n accessories wise, can slowly wait. cos its a long way to go also you can try asking the price for delivery. i only kno KK charges about $3k, then thomson med is $5k, mt alvernia is $7k, mt e is $10k. so see which one you are comfortable with
if im not wrong, you need to go for some OSCAR test, i have no idea what is it cos i missed it out. i just went for a detailed scan + seeing my gynae , 3 types of medicine, it is about $150, $300. so round up about 500. it can be cheaper , so see where you go.
now just try to be happy and do your best not to be stressed over your family or bf. i was stressed until i actually did wanna end my life if my parents didnt wanna take me in, and my bf leaves. but rly lucky never . i cant rely much on my bf for stuffs like baby accessories or clothing or my medical fees cos he complains its expensive( like duh, medical isnt cheap in SG) and he going in ns next month, so he says he will contribute some $$ for baby n me.
for me,i found out about baby when i was 5 mths n i dont know about how you gonna tell, but i only did it in 1 week cos i dont have much time left as my tummy was beginning to show. my brother did mention smth like if i told him earlier, he will get me a medicine to stop it from growing. so ya, this baby is a lucky one. guess i might be wrong, but maybe you wait till a bit longer.. so in this way,you can tell them your child is forming, and they cant do anything about it, or you tell them, say you can the baby heart pumping very clearly, and it hurts you so badly to abort it. and doc advised you not to abort, else you will risk your life, and i believe your parents wont be so harsh on you.
but do eat healthily, like more fruits(moderately eat pineapples, papaya, durian ) n veg, fresh milk, i think you still can jog or run, and you can gym too. dont forget about proteins like chicken, fish, red meat and avoid alcohol and smoking. (i feel bad cos i was smoking n drinking quite a bit befoe i know about baby) and just live life normally for now, and slowly take your time to plan out how you are going to tell your parents, and think of solutions for it. if they find your solutions feasible, then why not! guess they will allow you to keep your child and believe their baby girl(you) is becoming an adult, though they confirm wont be happy, like mine.. also, do get your bf to tell them you are carrying his child. then this will make your parents think your bf is responsible.(advised by my gynae to my bf)
lastly, dont worry about dropping your baby! cos it is inside your womb. just make sure no one hits your stomach at any point of time. and walk carefully. if you use heels, try not to also. guess you will feel pain in your breast around... 3rd or 4th month. you will slowly see changes in your body. this is kind of early to tell you, but if your tummy starts to show, dont spend money on buying bigger sized pants. try visiting mothercare in marinasq, and buy this "belly belt" its super worth it! $29.90.
ok, i just realised my post is super long. haha but if you do need any help, do msg me alright! i will help you as much as i can.
im a young mum too! and my baby's 2 weeks and 5 days old. I had alot of problems with my family during my pregnancy but now when baby's arrived, everything will be fine! goodluck girls!
Hi phiy ,
Good for you if you decided to not abort your baby, just as long as ure prepared mentally and a lil financially wise...dont't care what others pressurize you to do...
Ure bf is Muslim? I'm not sure how stoic his family is cause most strict Muslim families would want the couple to b married... I'm from a Muslim family, my parents r strict religion wise( but my mom is a Chinese convert; I've a complicated family ) and my guy is non Muslim... I know they would love Us to b married and him converted but they have come to accept that i prefer to b a free thinker and us living life as it is; a couple but not bounded by a piece of paper...
Not sure if ure bf's family could see the same way as mine did though... But it would help if ull b there with him to give him support when he break the news?
As ive told lingz in an earlier post.... If both of you do decide to remain unmarried, you would lose out on 2 additional mths of maternity leave and no baby bonus of 4k ... Which would help for baby neccessities and immunizations....but take the plunge only if ure very sure of the relationship.... If not i guess divorcing would b messier and pricier...:/
If you wanna save some cash... I think could check out kk as subsidised patient? I'm not sure about it, but I've heard most of it could b claimed by medisave?
Anyways, really respect you and lingz.... It's great ure bf's stand by you gals.. and if ure situations happened to me when I was at ure age, I think I would have freaked out:/...
Hi dear,dont't think of abortion or what..the best is you must seat down and disscus with your
Boyfriend and family member I became a mummy since last sept 2010 I didn't know I am pregnant at the moment I was keep having high fever I went to see doctor with my mum..she was shocked by the news when my doctor told her I am pregnant she is unhappy slowly she ask me call my boyfriend(my current husband) and I called up to my boyfriend N my parents start to question him will he marry me and so on..so he agree after that both of parents came out and meet for a lunch and discuss our wedding..after that my mum support me and my dad too..they told me no matter what they will support me if I need help..