FANTASTIC - couldn't be better, God send angel~~
EXCELLENT - very nice and understanding
GOOD - okay , mai hiam buay pai
MEDIOCRE - 50% ok 50% not ok
BAD - cannot bear to see her face for a minute
LOUSY - I purposely avoid her anywhere i could
NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE - ..................
not applicable - i am single, not married yet~~~
This is a discussion on Anti M.I.L. CLUBB - we all know wads that :p (Includes anything that ends with I.L.) within the Mummy Cafe forum, part of the Community Lounge category; Originally Posted by akachan09 I usually do not allow my parent in law to interfere when I am lecturing my child. If ...
sometimes, i will say to myself tis, mother in law is old , who noes how must time she still has here so just let her b .........but , easier said than done! hahahaha...sometimes really cant stand her... i hope some mums-inlaw will come into tis forum n share their views coz mainly here r daughters-inlaw.
our own mother is still the best!
mother in law = forever, non-stop, stoopid problems frm them
mine thought she can dictate my life - recently, i wanted to start drinking coconut water like what others mentioned here, drink it during the last trimester, mother in law said, if sister In law that time never drink, she will never allow me to drink. In my heart I was thinking, what has this got to do with you?? IF I want to drink, I will still drink, not up to you to say yes or no.
and when we wanted to get a fan for the baby rm, she told me to get a black colour fan so that it is easier to maintain, but on the spot i told her no, baby rm items will all be in pastel col or white, no black. Her face immed change col.
keep complaining about my sister In law how bad she is, dont bring her dear husband back to let her see, dont stay with them during her confinement, again in my heart i was thinking, you yourself tell the whole wide world that you dont know how to take care of baby, dont knw how to cook confinement food, what do you expect??
now that i m giving birth soon, she turn all attention to me. BUT she really dont knw how to take care of baby loh, only knw to carry the baby and go for "gai-gai" when the baby cry (real live example shown when sister In law bring her dear husband over and mother in law keep insisting to carry and bring the baby go gaigai when baby crys). She dont even knw if the baby is hungry, pampers wet etc.....
tell me cannot inform my friends and colleagues that i have given birth till FM celebration, dear husband ask her why, she just say cannot, old ppl say so... "piangz"...
i m quite a pantang person, but certain things if is too ridiculous, like cannot inform friends i have given birth, i will heck care loh... what stoopid logic is this...
the worst thing is, her cooking sucks!! her dishes all the same everyday!!! Fishcake, fishball and deep fried fish with the same type of veg and sauce!!!!! Lucky i already booked my confinement..... thk god!
the "cannot inform friends when giving birth" my mum say when in e labour rm dont tell too many ppl 1st but she say can inform after i give birth.. means right after giving birth can start sms ... but as long as you're okay with it, then is okay ...
in labour rm i can understand... but she says even after give birth aso cannot inform friends, mus wait till full month then can tell...
my mother in law is reali a headache. she wasnt like that in e past, before i moved in, she was quite nice to me, but after i moved in, she showed her true self....she always like to interfere when i discipline my dear daughter, and thus, my dear daughter always run to her. so ther's once my dear daughter used a cane n hit her, and she said( where's your mummy, you hit , i called mummy beat you) i just stayed in e rm, tnkin... you were e one who want to spoilt her....good good( so bad haha )she like to do things against me. once i was teachin my dear daughter e diff of nai nai n po po, but she kept askin my dear daughter to cal her man called my mum nai nai, isnt she crazy? i have my ways of teachin my dear daughter, but SHE always interfere..... i m reali soooo sick n tired of her. i m now expectin my 2nd baby, she wasnt interested at al. she even cooked overnite food for me to eat....(twice) then i told my dear husband, he threw away al e leftover.... due to some spottin in e early wks, doc asked me to rest more n dont carry heavy stuff, but i stil have to wash my clothin n hang em out almost everyday...( she never help, just sit down there n watch me do.) GUESS what, is was gg to rain one day, so i want to brin in my clothes. my father in law came( they didnt stay together) she said( ai yo , gal cum cum i brin in e clothes, you dont touch) OMG, she puttin on an act... she is frm hell...... frm that time onward, i reali reali dont respect that much anymore.... stt i was tnkin, did her mother in law did al tis to her so she doin e same to me now.....is sad to live w/ her....
THe best part of my mother in law is that she always commented that my daughters have her daughters' traits! Well, hello???? your daughter married her own brother ar??? Duh!!!!! Kids should be their own parents, not like their aunts or uncles or even the grandparents. your time has past and they have already their own share of kids when their own kids were young! so y be so possesive and irritating???? i dont't care...i just tell my in-laws off (be it sister In law, brother in law, father in law or mother in law) and even my husband if i think their nethod of taking care and educating is totally wrong! i use to respect my in-laws but after so many "duh" incidents, they dont't deserve my respects. I dont't expect them to like me (the feelings are mutual). But nevertheless i try to be diplomatic and kan-kai. However if too much, i'll tell them off. I'm that kind of person to tell off another...if it concerns my life and my children! They just got to remember....my kids ARE MY kids! Not theirs. If they so gian, ask them to buka factory and produce again !
Hahaha. Ever there's one time when i was disciplining my child, my mother in law or father in law interfere. already so HOT, i tell them off too! They also kena scolding from me! you wanna spoil my child....certain things i'm fine but when it comes to disciplining, she better stay off!
thank god my own mother will discipline my girl when needed to. She loves to spoil her but at least she still have a remarkable teaching method. She knows a child need to be spoilt and also disciplined. Need a balance . That's why i'm more at peace if my mom take care of my girls instead of my in-laws. No common sense (inlaws).
i warned my inlaws not to compare my children with others in front of me coz i truly detest that! If the oldies want to gossip and compare, let it be between themselves. I also pity my relatives whenever my mother in law tells us about their children (relatives). I cut her short by saying that's not your problem and each child is unique and special by its own. That will keep her quiet! From young, my own parents dont't compare me with my other relatives' children...and I really think it's good for a child's well-being (mentally and emotionally).
so we gotta learn from here. for me, i already have in mind to only help take care / look out of the kids occassionally (not a full-time) thing coz i dont't want to carry the burden and also, i dont't want to cause any/further friction between my future daughter-in-law or son-in-law. They need to learn themselves coz i'm not going to live like forever. It's the role of the parents to care and educate and discipline their own children. I'll only help or interfere if they are ok with it. Gotta respect them. Perhaps another 20-30 years down the road, we can come back here (this forum) and review and maybe complain about our children-in-law. Wahahahaha.
Yeah, husbands always close their ears when we complain to them. Once i was so frustrated with my husband bo-chap / no reaction attitude, i told him if he dont't speak to his parents about the issues, then i'll tell them myself and it won't be nice words coming out from me. Then he better dont't blame me for being nasty and dont't call me rude. It's not like i only say once to my inlaws, I always remind them but they are DEAF!!!! And they kept on spoiling my girl or do not't practice good hygiene. AT the end i became the "BAD" person but i really dont't care what they think of me so long my girl are taken care of in the manner i want it to be (on hygiene especially). Sometimes i complained to my own mom and she often tells me to cool down. Frankly, if my mom were to spoil my own children i'll tell her off too.
I've been living with mother in law since Day 1 of marriage, but our relationship really deteriorated after baby's birth. I may sound ungrateful to complain, but i'm really very gek-sim becos mother in law always "snatches" baby's time away from me whenever he's awake (she'll bring him to watch tv & sit on her lap, park herself next to his play corner on sofa, etc...) I've become the maid to fetch towel for her to bathe baby (she insists coz she'd bathed him since my confinement days), make milk then pass 2 her to feed baby (cos she's always carrying him).
Not the mention gotta also withstand whatever comments/comparisons/her methods of babysitting. Think it's possible that someone can get post-natal blues partially due 2 mother in law! Now baby only responds 2 her
Though we may not like to hear it cos it seems like they are taking credit for a beautiful or desired trait in our children, it's better to accept it graciously so that they will not think that you are 'petty'.
My relatives always say my boy looks like my elder brother. & when we dug out baby photos to compare, my son is like a photocopied version of my brother!
The next time your mother in law says that, just say "Hope she inherits all the good traits!". And SMILE!
& if your mother in law shows black face just because someone else says your children look like you, just say "of cos! I gave birth to them lei!"
MILs are irritating! They are ALWAYS right! I've experienced it BEFORE I got married & thankfully I no longer have to do so.
Empty vessels make the most noise
Last edited by Stan; 19-07-2009 at 11:38 PM.
i think im lucky cos i dont have a mother in law.
if i married my ex n live with his mum, sure got alot of conflicts.
current bf's mum seem fine, but still keeping my fingers crossed.
May sound a bit biased now: If want to maintain cordial relationship & good impressions, better dont't stay with mother in law next time.... To think that I used to believe that things would be fine despite staying together & I can handle...
in my case, my father-in-law likes to interfere whenever we try to discipline my gal. recently, when dear husband tried to get my gal to nap in our room, (such a trivial matter, right?) father in law picked this up and we had a very very HOT quarrel. He said that my emphasis on discipline, and behaviour are wrong. We should be like him, must know HOW TO LOVE KIDS (our kids , we dont't love them meh?)
i told him, it's not wrong to get my gal to take her afternoon nap in the room, so that we, as a family, will sleep together in the room during the weekend. but he insisted that my gal loves to sleep on the mattress in the living room.
He just like to interfere, and thinks his way of bringing up children are correct. please , dear husband was very very very rebellious when he was young ... but he just refuse to accept the fact. he thinks he is the best father of the world!!
we told him, we are our kids' parents, and let leave the parenting to us, but he resist and keep saying that we dont't know how to teach kids. but, for him, he will give my gal marker to draw on the sofa, give her scissors to play without supervision.... is that the right way of teaching? when my gal was happy, then he said he is very good at taking care of kids.. when my gal was not happy and cry, he will said it's my fault and "bo liang xim" of not caring my gal, let her cry at home...
what is this?
Last edited by ahpei; 21-07-2009 at 02:10 PM.