This is a discussion on Is it really worth your time to share in forums? within the Mummy Cafe forum, part of the Community Lounge category; Originally Posted by autumn82 I'm at Semb. We just had a mini gathering last Sun coz our fellow mummy elaine82 ...
Actually, I'm not expecting any thanks or anything in return when I offer & extend my help. I feel very happy when mummies post/PM that they've succeeded or they are coping well. But I think some people abuse that.
I gave my personal number to some forumners for ease of contact in case they got something urgent to ask. But I always end up getting phone calls & SMSes in the middle of the night at 2-3am and it's about things which do not require an immediate reply (ask me do diapers leak often, why tummy will have silvery lines, etc). I'm ok with such questions but please do it at an appropriate timing. I've not been able to get proper sleep due to all these SMSes/calls. & I try my best not to use my mobile phone during tuition cos it's not nice to do so.
& most of you know, I have a day job plus I'm giving tuition. Night time is really precious sleeping time for me to rest. I hardly get a break the entire week! When I dont't have tuition, I either busy with school or busy teaching & playing with my boy. Replying SMSes in between gives me a break & I enjoy helping people. But some people not only SMS/call at odd hours, they bomb my phone with SMSes.
There were a few times when I checked my phone after lesson & I have 20+ missed calls & 40+ SMSes! Just after teaching 1 period (1hr). Imagine my shock & panic! I though something serious happened & that mummy really needed help badly so I called back (& was 5 minutes late for my next class, thankfully my colleague went to settle the class down for me first), only to find out that she wanted to know why her baby's belly button is popping out.
I'm not sure if any of you can understand my frustration. 1 unreplied SMS (sometimes due to too busy & forget to reply after reading), end up I get bombed with even more SMSes/missed calls. Especially during the period where I was very busy & did not have time to clear my PM inbox (yes, it's always full no matter how I try to delete & delete).
Having taken a break from the forum the past few days has been quite good. At least I do not get multiple missed calls & SMSes at one go. I'll still read & post, but maybe not so often & not so detailed anymore. Let others have a chance to share what I've shared with them previously plus add in their own experiences too. If you have received, pay it forward just like how I've paid it forward cos I received so many valuable advices from other mummies
Empty vessels make the most noise
If the matter is really urgent/ life or death issue... I'm sure they will turn to their next-of-kin, instead of waiting for your sms reply or call back
Sharing in forum is definitely worth your time. People will appreciate you.
I learn a lot from forums when I first started off as a Mummy, renovate my place etc... Now with experience, I am starting to post in forums.
I pity your experiences with Mummies who treat you like a walking guru. But bcos you are a Guru, that is why they choose to call you. So you should feel GLAD.
However, Mummies out there, Please use your brains and dont'T keep calling stonston like 40 times! and at wee hours. Call your MUM or Mother-In-Law or KK helpline!
stonston, i do understand, cos last time also happened to me. gv my number to a young mummy in another forum, n she keep calling n texting me asking me this n that.. some which i think is quite common sense.... -.-"
so i dont dare to give anymore... only give msn.. cos if annoyed, can block. =P
Sometimes feel like changing HP no but I had this no for very long, plus I paid extra for this no cos I selected the no!
oh dear, it does sound like you've been taken advantage of your kind heartedness......it's funny how some people abuse it!
i hope it works out for you and not have to change your hp number, we all know it will be such a pain the in ass to do that!! perhaps for the short term, you could switch off your hp after 10pm, at least you can get proper rest and more importantly, dont't feel like you are obliged to reply the smses/calls, only do that if you feel like it.......
I can't off that phone cos it's my main line and my workplace need to contact me in emergencies. & sometimes I do have real work emergencies at night.
Actually If i were you, i would tell the person that please do not call/SMS but if you are "paiseh" please ignore or barred his/her number.
As Ting mentioned MSN is a good way use for informal friendship but if the person is getting on your nerve, blocking the person might be a good solution.
Relax and take a deep breathe
wow. you mean ppl call you like a consultant?
im quite i supposed. but im glad i went thru the 'tough' period when my baby was born some 8 mths ago. i guess sometimes we forget this is a sharing forum.
*blush* i hope i did not piss anyone off with my repeated questions.
Yes, I believe in what you mentioned in bold font too coz I had great difficulties breastfeeding initially and there was a very nice forum member (sleepymama) who helped me tide through my problems then...
stonston, I've also learnt lots thru your posts! Thanks!
Hi StonSton mummy,
Really salute you for your great contributions and effort here. Ya, maybe the best thing is to tell those panicky mummies out there not to sms/call you for non-emergency questions. You are not their personal 24/7 pedi or mummy guide.