This is a discussion on Adding My Surname to Child's name within the General Pregnancy Discussion forum, part of the Pregnancy Forum category; Hi I like to add my surname to my child's name “Chen Ping Duan 陈品端“. Like to know if anyone ...
I like to add my surname to my child's name “Chen Ping Duan 陈品端“. Like to know if anyone has done that?
Say Chen Ping Duan 陈品端
Chen : Husband's surname
Lim : Wife's surname
Name of Baby : Ping Duan
How do I add the Lim into it? Hope someone could give me an answer..or experience in this.
feel like something i should do for my parents.
hmm but it's abit weird lehh... maybe i didnt came across of this before... cos i only know women who are married then got 2 surname..
Quite common in the West to have child carrying both parents last names. What with all the equality of the sexes! Problems do arise when the couple splits up though.
Yes, it should be Chen-Lim. Need to get a deed poll done - so see a lawyer. Also look up what ICA requires.
Its slightly different for my dotter's case. We dont't have surnames or family names. For our culture, we have the BIN/BINTE followed by Father's name.
I just changed my dotter's name 2 weeks ago. It was hubby's idea to include my name in her name. He doesn't like the idea of a mother's name (and ethnicity) being excluded from our child's birth information when its the mother who carried baby for 9 months. (something like that...he's reasoning was super long)
So from Misha Binte Mohamed Mirza, now its Misha Maryam-Mirza.
For race, we're going to put Malay-Sindhi, instead of just father's ethnicity which is Sindhi.
We went to see a lawyer for the deed poll and will be going to ICA next week to make necessary name and race changes to current documents. Gotta make a new passport for her too cos ICA said can't just chg the name on her current one.
We paid 90 bucks to the lawyer for the name change and a copy of the deed poll.
wow tika, you have a loving and considerate husband. indeed it was us who carried the baby in us for 9 months.
i remember now....one of his reasons is no matter how long a father takes care of the child, the mother had carried and cared for baby in her womb for 9 mths more than father. So mothers definitely deserve some recognition, especially in a child's birth information.
Is your hubby ok with your idea of including your surname to your child's name?
Last edited by tika; 04-09-2009 at 03:13 PM.
he's quite neutral about it. as for my parents in law..i'm not sure what their reaction would be.
but if both your hubby and you agree to it, then you dont have to 'seek' for inlaws' consent, just INFORM them... your child belongs to you and your hubby...
My in laws also dont know about the name chg. We think they have no say in it so no need to tell them. Even if they find out and kick up a fuss, my hubby say he will tell them off.
My 2nd baby will be born next week. Most likely they will ask whats her full name. Its going to be Mea Maryam-Mirza. I wonder how they'll react. Heeheee
i think most grandparents would disagree cos its not normal for Asians.
But if im not mistaken, for chinese, its quite a sensitive issue right?
i think its only polite to inform grandparents if they ask about it or if you think a situation warrants them to find out sooner than later. If they never ask then I probably won't call them just to tell. JMO.
my apologies if i sound offensive, you are the only child in your family?
hmmmm... that's interesting. but just a thought....
if its not worth it just cos paternal grandparents will be unhappy, then what about maternal grandparent's unhappiness? Shdn't their feelings be considered too?
Or is it just an Asian mindset that paternal grandparents' feelings are more important?
Singapore Deed Poll (Changing Names, Name Change or Change of Name in NRIC) | Singapore Lawyers @ LAW.com.sg : Loh Eben Ong & Partners - Singapore Law Firm, Solicitors, Advocates, Commissioner, Law Firms
i went to the above website to chg my dotter's name. Hope the link helps!
paternal means male side?
maternal means female side?
of coz, 2 side also must be happy..but if talking about this topic about surname is abit sensitive..esp if the husband is the only son
I understand that it is a sensitive issue. There is no easy way to discuss this openly, especially with the older generation. If their son is the only child, that brings me to ask, what if the mother is an only child too. The poor mother won't be able to do anything about it....?
JMHO, if we modern parents choose to adopt our parents and grandparents mindset, then we wont be able to move forward with our children. Our children will have their own mindset when they have their own families too. I always ask myself...when that happens, will we support them but with good caution or be a total hindrance?
hmm.. that i cant comment much.. heheh
maybe just diff ppl, diff belief and values..
i am those more traditional antique type...
yaa, agreed.. maybe as parents we think we are doing them well but in the end they find it unnecessary or worst nuisance.. hahahaha... but when they grow up they will understand.. hahaha.. this is what my mum always tell me...
Listening to parents and in-laws - in theory this is a good practice, as it shows respect, but problems arise when they expect you to follow their advice and not just listen. So its imporant (and very hard) to draw the balance between listening to them (and showing respect) as well as making your own decisions.
In our case, I was using my maiden name for a few years after marriage. It was easier and less of a hassle at work - that was exactly what I told my husb when he wanted me to take on his family name. But when he asked me a second time, I realised that it must be quite important for him so I immediately made arrangements to have the deed poll done and went to ICA to get my IC changed. Now I've taken on my husband's family name (my maiden name does not appear in my IC or passport at all). So when our baby was born, it was a simple case of her taking on the family name. My in-laws have no issues and if my parents are unhappy (we will speak politely and firmly to them explaining that there is no point in rocking the boat now)
I have students who have both mum & dad's surname on their I/C
So it's something like:
Chen Ling San Bo, Peter
Chen = Dad's surname
Ling = Mum's surname
San Bo = Child's Chinese name
Peter = Child's English name