Hey Carisella, dont feel so bad. dont't dwell on the past. Fill your mind with more positive thoughts!
Cannot say more about what a jerk that gynae was to criticise you and impose judgements on people. She has definitely no right to do that. But its not time to hate and think of revenge on her. Why not just let it go and focus on the important, like your health, your happiness, your family and your baby?
Why are you sad when you hear about NUH? Is it because you had the termination of preg there when you were 17? But actually NUH has some good gynaes. My friend gave birth to twins there and her gynae was highly recommended for multiple births and caesarean. When I visit her, the wards are nice and welcoming. But if you truly did not want NUH, maybe you can try Kandang Kerbau Hospital?
I guess now, you prob need to talk to a good friend who is supportive and positive or a counsellor whom you can relate everything to and cry your hearts out. These are ppl who can keep your secrets and not judge you.
I suggest you think and plan more of the future for your new baby. Like thinking of nice boy and girl names, thinking of how you can play/ teach your baby, where to go with hubby and baby after baby is born, where you can go as a small family to short trips or long holidays. You have a very sweet name - Carisella. dont worry too much, dont't let the past haunt you and be strong, ok?