This is a discussion on First reaction when you found out your expecting within the General Pregnancy Discussion forum, part of the Pregnancy Forum category; for me that i was single too... well it a mix feeling also as me n my hubby intend to ...
for me that i was single too... well it a mix feeling also as me n my hubby intend to keep the baby as we did discuss it before if accident.
Ha ha we were like dont know to laugh or to stress... finally everything is over (planning a wedding within 2mth), now we r enjoyinh the pregnancy....
I only ROMed at 7mths. Only my dad and a friend attended as witnesses. The whole pregnancy was an emotional nightmare. BF didn't like the idea of marriage as an solution to a problem but parents were giving me hell about not getting married. I was really close to running away just so I could be alone. Didn't help that I was not working at that point. My previous job wouldn't allow pregnancy anyway. We only held a small wedding the year after ROM date. My girl was 8mths by that time. Today everything is pretty wonderful.
i have been trying for 4 yrs...seeing many gynaes for help, and seeing a few traditional chinese medicine for help...nothing seemed to work for us then. I ws even considering ivf...but last nov, I found out i was pregnant...both hubby and I were like ..."are you sure". When it was confirmed by gynae at KK, I was like,"yes!"
Now that I am 15 weeks pregnant...I sometimes do have silly thoughts (what if the baby is not healthy, what if the baby dont do well, what if the baby is born pre-mature..., alot of wild thoughts.) Is that normal? I am a worried wort and plus I have been hearing not so nice stories in the past so it creates a fear in me.
But I do want this baby to come out happy and healthy.
I cried like crazy coz i was trying to concieve but didnt think that i'd strike the jackpot so quickly just after trying for 2 months.
afterwards i texted everyone who knew, flew back to sg and bought a digital test, took that and showed it to my parents who were speechless for 1/2 the day because i am single and am opted to be a single mum since day one of trying to concieve w/o their knowledge.
Now I'm a single mum, by choice - somewhat. But I can empathize what you mean by an emotional nightmare. I loathed it when people tell me to enjoy my pregnancy and love the baby bump, if only they could step in my shoes and look around for a minute at all the toxic relatives and disapproving mum who never held back a single minute to give me hell.
I'm grateful my son came out beautiful and cheerful, the exact opposite of what I was during that time, and now I wouldn't trade him for the world. Happy for you that things are wonderful on your end
Pipilili, Congratulations on your pregnancy!! It is very normal to be worried about the baby in all intensities, all mothers have wild thoughts accompanying the hormonal haywire. At the end of it when you finally see your child, you'll find that you've fretted too much and should have enjoyed pregnancy as much as you baby enjoyed growing and kicking from inside. Take it from the doctor, they say baby is fine, then, baby IS fine. Meanwhile love the bump and because I regret not enjoying mine; please enjoy your pregnancy because you'll miss it once it's over
I looked at the strip and asked god aloud, are you joking with me? Coz doc said it hard for us to conceive just 2 weeks ago and we were contemplating ivf.... Moreover, I just started a new job for less than a week....
And it was supposed to be too early to tell as I tested 3 weeks plus after my menses.... Coz I had an X-ray to do the next day for my job....
It was on Christmas of all days. My best friend thought I was acting really weird when we were having Christmas eve dinner together and I 'awwed' at a little girl who was bundled up in cute pink winter clothes when I never really liked kids. And I was emotional and cry for no reasons the weeks leading up to Christmas, so my best friend concluded I was pregnant or having some really weird PMS and since I missed my period, I bought the test kit.
My reaction was "OMFG!!" and yeah was crying, I dont't know I was happy or sad, or just crying from disbelief. And immediately ran out in the blizzard to get more test kits to be sure.
Told my bf and my parents and decided to keep it as I've always been against abortions and I think it's a gift. However, we've both decided to take 1 step at a time as I dont't believe in getting married just because of pregnancy. It makes no sense to me. But I'm glad my parents have been really supportive of me.
I respect you for the decision you made. Most people would have caved in to negative people around them. My parents and most of extended family are excited for me, except for an Aunt who always cast me the evil look...but whatever. I'm sure everything will pan out well for you, people get over it after a while.
Asians are still conservative when it comes to these issues. But if planning to get married in the near future, then its fine.
How are you coping with everything? And yes, you're right. For us females, maternal instinct comes naturally to us and guys can't relate to that since they aren't physically bonded to the child. How your baby's daddy reacted initially? My bf said he wasn't ready and he thinks he's too old.... But he's slowly opening to it.
So will you be continuing your studies meanwhile? Actually, with regards to parents helping out, believe me, you will need all the help you can get. I thought I could do this on my own, work, look after my son, support him etc; i was quite wrong. In fact, I am glad I didn't eventually shift out on my own. Even though my mum gave me a hard time during my pregnancy, she was doing it because she was shocked, and scared - for me. Now, she loves my son, takes care of him when I'm at work and helps me out a great deal. Especially with all the financial difficulty I face, sometimes little gestures like getting diapers when she sees it on sale, and not wanting me to return her the money, it makes single parenthood easier. It could be easier for you because you have your partner to co-support the child, but getting all the help from parents who more than willingly offer is truly god-sent. I would never have been able to get through the initial stages without them helping me out.
I'm coping well; a little struggle here and there but I take it as it comes, asking for help when I need it. I may not be financially strong enough to shower my son with expensive enrichment classes and expensive toys, but I spend all my non-working waking hours with him. As for dealing with the father of my son, I'm still in the midst of trying to keep my son away from him permanently.
My son's father and I had broken up before I found out about my pregnancy, but being traditional, he told me to get married anyway. It didn't work out, the wedding was canceled and he disappeared for the rest of the pregnancy. Now, he wants to be part of my son's life; in which I see, is like a HK drama - he only appears after all the drama is over to claim credit. It could be part of me being sour or just protective, but I'm very adamant about not letting him have any part of my son. He wasn't particularly happy or ready, all he said after the wedding was canceled was "no wedding, no baby - go abort".
I'm not young, I have been married before (not to baby's father), and I come to know the importance of marriage and the problems that come along with it. I'm fearful of marriage, but I know it can be a good thing too, just when it's with someone compatible. No point having a good guy who is not compatible in character. Just end up being divorced but still amicable.
Good that your bf is opening up to the idea of baby, just remember to protect yourself and baby.
I thought I had gastric problems and even expected my GP to prescribe me gastric medicine even though he suspected me pregnant and ask me to go for a urine test. I was a bit surprised cos I always thought I'm someone who can't conceive easily plus I wasn't married at that time. A bit confused cos I also had a change of job and already plan what to do with my boyfriend for that year... Never expected to get married and have baby so early LOL... But all thanks to his encouragement, I got the determination to have our baby!
i was scared, shocked and yet happy. i had an abortion 2 years ago and i regret it till this day. was 20 and my bf(now ex) and family insisted i get an abortion, though i was 17 weeks preg. i was living with them and i had to go through the persuasion everyday. how gross. i did it out of anger,confusion and fear. after the incident i cursed that they will have no grandchildren as retribution and i swore that i will never go through another abortion again, unless the baby has physical defects.
my current bf is very understading and caring. the last scan was the first time we saw our baby moving his tiny hands and legs. my bf was so excited and kept looking at the scan when we got home. he doesnt let me do any chores at home and treat me like im handicap. damn gan jiong. lol. planning to ROM but wedding will be prob 2 years later. we are really looking forward to our baby and family.
For my 1st one, I felt unbelievable that I was gonna be a mummy but definitely happy. Tested a few times just to be super sure, and my hubby jumped in joy too. We were similarly happy when we had #2, but my reaction to #3 was very different. It was unexpected and I remembered my first reaction was fear and uncertainty on how I would cope with 3! Hubby was still happy but it took me some time before I came to terms with my pregnancy.
first reaction : i was both happy and sad at the same time. Happy that i have to quit my job. Sad that I have to leave my job and be jobless!
it is a love-hate relationship pertaining to my previous job!