This is a discussion on No. 2 - To have or not to have? within the General Pregnancy Discussion forum, part of the Pregnancy Forum category; For those mummies who have only 1 child, have you ever considered having another one? Or have you already decided ...
For those mummies who have only 1 child, have you ever considered having another one? Or have you already decided to stick to just 1? What factors will you take into consideration?
i would want a #2.. if not becos my flat is coming, need a big amount of cash for reno, i dont mind to have #2 now.. but i think i shall wait for 2 more yrs =)
If it comes, it comes.... deliberate delays will be at certain level of disadvantage as ageing parents. Not mentioning the big age gap in-between siblings. Their understandings towards each other will not be closely link.
Children is the gift-of-life.
well, currently due to my wedding issues, have decided to hold on having #2.
would LOVE to have #2 now, but decided to trying to concieve 2-3 yrs later.
I wud love to have no.2 .. and wud like to have a baby boy this time .. My hubby thought that 1 kid is enough . But I dont't think so . I just think that having another one would be better . However , I'm glad that he accept my decision .. But I let nature takes it course ..
Well. if financially can afford why not. kids wants/needs companion.
My elder gal always look forward friends visiting us coz she got friends to play with. And also at times my gal will want to go to my sis's house, look for her cousin although the cousin are much more older (age 17 & 18) then her.
Yes, i love kids too and now expecting my #2. My boy now 19months and he likes to play around with other kids. So i think giving him a bro/sis will make his day more occupied. I agree if financially allows then i think having more kids is good. When me & hubby grow old, at least the kids also not alone.
Yes I would love to have #2 too.....now my son is 2yrs old, and we felt tht the age gap is just nice....so hopefully good news soon
I wouldn't want to have the age gap between dear daughter and her sibling to be too big if I intend to have no 2. I am also worried that if anything happens to me and hubby *choy* she will have no immediate family member.
My ex colleague's parents passed away in an accident but she and her sister were there for each other.
Having a sibling/companion is also good in a way that there's another person who shares your childhood and memories with you. Priceless.
Another thing is education which I feel that having a closer age gap will help you to be more familiar with the subject syllabus, too many years later who knows how much changes are there.
However, hubby doesn't seem keen or think that way because of our environment and our financial situation. However, dear daughter is growing up and I feel more "settled". It's not because I think it's a necessity and I love kids a lot, I just feel that proceeding to the next phrase where I fully focus on both kids instead of going through it again many years later.
I thought of stopping at 1 but I find it quite selfish towards my dear daughter. The only person I can rely on is my own parents and I feel guilty to trouble them.
I decide to stop at 1 in the delivery room . The moment i gave birth , on the spot tell my hubby "no more second one " . In fact my gynae is smiling there when i say that and offer me "preventive" measures when i went for check up after delivery ...
Now six month have passed , having second tots on it . Also my hubby kept to his promise and take care of my baby since she is born . He would want to have the second one as well as he say scare my baby will be lonely next time.
If my health permit , i think i just go for the second one . Now leave it to the fate .
$$$ wise , we are doing ok as we are not huge spenders and housing loan only left about 7 years so should be comfortable after that .
Will love to have no. 2 but afraid that we can't give both the best.
So we r comtemplating =(
i agree to this statement.
I am giving this one and only one the best of everything we can find & afford.
I would think that I have to compromise on #1 so as to have #2, be it financially or quality time etc.
Hence, #2 is still 'on hold' status.
I wish I can get pass this thinking.
Decided to have #2 when dear daughter was around 8-9months old, mainly to provide company for her & also I dont't like the idea of having too wide an age gap between my children. Plus if I go back to work, then I may drag #2 even longer & need to "interrupt" my career.
now with #2 & #3 I think after this no more. Scared. lol.
Isaac is 9th months now! Plan to give him another sibling 1 years later.
Although handle the new born is very tired but is fun and enjoy also.
Thank you from my supporting hubby....
me n hubby wants no.2 hopefully its a gal.... in my heart would like no.3 also.. but hubby disagree, he feels that our $$ can only give 2 kid stable life (average/ more than average) so he do not want No.3 , he is afraid not able to give equal love and attention... and not able to give all 3 comfortable life... only can give 2 comfortable life...
His mum has 3 kids, he always feel he is the neglected one so he insist no NO3.... so no one will be neglected...
see how it goes, No. 2 confirm have... no.3... haha
it really depends on you if you are going to have 2 or more children, you should consider if you're able to take care 2 or more kids, if you are able to give them a bright future.. Being responsible is enough to know how many kids you want to have..
How do mummies define 'giving yr child the best' or a bright future? What if the best is actually loving relationships incl siblings? Just thinking aloud...
Good question .
Truthfully , their future lies in their own hand and not mine .
Regarding the best -- Tought to define as I grow up in a poor family and have 3 other siblings . We grew up having each other company and parents just give us whatever they can afford and it is the best .. We are content and our family are close knitted ... I think this is the best ...
Because we have little luxury, we worked hard in school and succeeded in our own ways. Children who have too much might lose the inner motivation to strive for success.
My hubby and I agree to have more than 1 child:
- for them to have companion
- for them to share the load of taking care of aged parents in future (very hard on 1 child to take care of 2 parents, emotionally even if not financially)
- to make sure we cannot pamper them with too much luxuries
- for us not to rely emotionally on only 1 child (if he grows up unfilial or we outlive him, it'd be mega heartache)
Of course, couples need to communicate and plan finances carefully.
Planning for #2 to arrive next year, then think about more after that.
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Of cuz it wud be perfect to have 2.. but the factors that I take into consideration will be will i have enuff time and stamina to take care of 2.. Will i be able to give them my undivided attention or would I be too tired out becuz i do not have help at home..
But if you have someone helping you out.. Like a maid or a parent that is not working and you love kids.. then by all means have 2 or more.. =) I myself would consider having another one once I can get some xtra help..
Another thing would be financial stability I guess..
Good luck mummy =)