This is a discussion on Public transport passengers treats pregnant lady invisible within the General Pregnancy Discussion forum, part of the Pregnancy Forum category; Originally Posted by dramaqueen Originally Posted by ilurve In my 18th weeks (4 months plus), the very first person who ...
during my 1st trims, i just transfer to new branch, so took straight bus to work place. there was this aunt who is pinoy in her 40s ( from her look) always fake preggy to ask for seat. i give her seat before, no thank you from her. as weeks passed, my bump had grow bigger, her tummy still the same size... that when i realise she is fake!! she ask seat from me again, so i just told her i preggy n this is not fatty bump like her. so everytime she saw me in same bus she will walk very far behind.. lol
i been ask to give up seat before by a 50plus aunty also, when i say i am preggy, she give me look and say in malay which i dont understand as if i am underage shootgun mummy!! WTF !! yes i look young even in my early 30s. but i dont think she got the rite to say that so loud in bus... think she forget about this accident as i dont really makeup nowadays, she dont recognize me, will seat beside me sometime also.
I was preggy 2 times, and 2 times, i did just that. And i make sure i Thank you the person loudly.
and when i am not pregnant, i DID give up my seats to (elderly, young children or disabled) even if i am not seating at the Reserved seating areas.
To be honest, there are certain times i missed giving up the seats bcos i really fell asleep or i simply can't tell whether that lady is preggy or just plain with a fat tummy..
My point is, if you need the seat, Speak up!
Most people are nice or polite enough to give up the seats if you ask them to...whether Singaporean or foreign talenet...
I'm 17wks preg now and so far, 2 ppl offered me to sit. The first one was a lady and another was a young guy. I felt so so grateful to them because even tho i'm in my second trisem alrd, i still feel slight giddiness and dizzy when i stand on train, sometimes i even feel breathless and cold sweat will be running from my body. I almost drop fainted 2x when i was on my first trisem (first tri sem was the most suffering time so far!!) and nobody offered me a seat then, but i didnt blame them because my tummy wasnt showing anyway.
The first person who offered me a seat probably see i keep on rubbing and touching my tummy (by then, the bump alrd showing a lil bit). But i sincerely didnt mean it to like "hinting her" that i am preg. I'm very very small size and petite, i just scared those people carrying big bags will bumped into me or my tummy. Everytime i board the train or walk into the train or walk out of the train, i will always cover my tummy with my hands just in case people rushing to get on/off train and bumped into me. But i think the lady noticed that i might be preg and offered me the seat anyway, to that, i'm really really grateful.
The lady must have been preggy herself before and so can interprete your actions.
Do take care.
i am big sized myself but i observed that most Petite people even if 8-9 mths preggy, we really can't see their baby bum bcos it's so small...
Precisely I dont understand... even if you are not feeling well, you shld still have basic courtesy... won't you feel even more grateful when ppl give up seat to you when you really need it? I dont expect anything bt I also dont expect to get black face as if I owe it to her...some ppl just take things for granted...Originally Posted by NingNingMummy:647010
Wow, it has come to snatching a seat with a pregnant lady already? Some people just do not have the heart.
Actually mummies got to learn to take care of yourself, if you are not well or on a long journey you should ask for a seat, I am sure someone will give up the seat to you. Priority seats are not a form of entitlement, if ppl give up seats for you, they are doing you a favor. I dont't think we shld complain if ppl dont't do us favors. If you need a seat dont't just there and feel sorry for yourself, do what's the best for you and your baby..ask for the seat !
Priority seats in other country like tw is left empty even if its on a crowded train.. No one will sit on it if you're not e person who need it.. you'll invite glares if you dont't deserve that seat bt was sitting on it.. I think such thing will never be seen on sg..
Hi, the theme is very topical cause all the time I see pregnant woman and the reaction of man I feel angry, fortunately I go by car and never had this problem but still...
If we approach them and ask them to give up their seat for us will like very paiseh sia. And especially they give those faces and stares. Wth... Anyway i am a teen mum, i dont dare to ask for seats.. But my bump small not very obvious also.. Sometimes no seats on buses or trains very xinku.. Dont dare to ask for seats! seriously dont understand why they so inconsiderate.
My worse encounter on the train was during my first pregnancy, this foreign lady with a 4-5 years old son, asked me to stand up and let his son have the seat! She says "the picture on reserved seats shows mother and son!", I was 4 months preg, I looked at her tell her "hello! I'm pregnant".
I thought i was alone! I felt so tired during my first trimester I always hoped I could sit.
I used to be very slim, so even now its not obvious at 14 wks (esp with loose clothes) :-(
I always see young kids watching movies on their iPhones in the priority seat and really feel like asking them to move but i usually only have a few stops so I dont't bother...
However, when i told my friend about these incidents she said its a very fine line... because she has seen many instances a guy offers his seat and the woman just glares - apparently she was just fat. so its a fine line btw being and idot and an idot. as she puts it, even sometimes she's very weary if the lady is pregnant or just fat and doesn't know what to do - there is no winning (even for the person sitting down!)
I am 31 wks pregnant n was sitting at e priority seat.. Thrs another pregnant women who gt on e train n standing in front of me.. i caught her glaring at me for not giving up e seat for her.. I dono if she cld see my tummy despite being that big.. Bt well i know how it was like standing with a big tummy, i ask e lady beside me to give her e seat.. E pregnant lady never even say thank you or express any form of gratitude..
I just feel that, if you get help frm ppl.. Atleast be grateful n say thank you.. dont't take things for granted.. Smtimes i also feels tts one of e reason y ppl dont't offer help.. coz sm ppl just dont have e most basic manner..
Last year..i was preggy 4 or 5 mths..i was walking like a penguin since im small built..was gg to mit hubby at bugis,frm bnlay.so the train arrived n i 'wobbled' in..aiyo no seat. -.-
Lets be dramatic abit ok
'Doors r closing tit tit tit tit'..a lady tapped me n pointed to someone at the next door aligning me.a malay guy was waving crazily at me n pointed to the seat infront of him.i think his gf was sitting n smilling at me.PAISEH like dat.I tried to go over bt hard since train was moving.
What moved me the most was..She got up,came to me n firmly hold on to my hand n lead me to her sit.And i was like,'Thank you so much..you shldnt have.' And of course i was blushing like hell..hahaa..Few stops ltr they alighted..
That really touched my heart..May god bless them
i agree.. there are still nice ppl around who will give up seats to preggy woman...
though at times.. you know ppl are just faking sleep..
Meet a nice guy today who ask the lady sitting at priority seat to give up his seat to me..
Although i know the lady saw me and close her eyes.. (not sure if she notice my tummy)...
but when she stand up and let me have the seat. i thank both the guy and lady..
Well.. i guess we should always thank ppl who give up seats to us.. basic courtesty..
cos they may be as tired as us and do hope to have a seat throughout the journey..
6th months pregnant now. baby bump considered small but i think can see a bit pop from clothes, if wear cotton on singlet then can see obvious.. But until now, no matter what i wear i always take bus back to my own house like got around 10 stops like that, nobody spare me seat and yet give me a super stare like as if they never see people pregnant like that! So pissed of when everytime they give me such stare.. Wtf
I just got off the train n it was amazing how these ppl treat pregnant lady. Not just that they dont offer me the reserved seats, but when i was approaching a normal empty seats, there were these prc women (not intended to be racist) who just ran n snatched the seats from me n laugh at me while one of them actually stepped my shoes!!!!!
And fyi, i'm 23 wks preg n there is no way ppl cant notice that i'm pregnant now unless they're blind.
As one of the previous posters mentioned, in other countries there are designated seats in the train for elderly, handicapped, pregnant etc and nobody wld touch these seats even with a packed train. In Seoul, each carriage had 8 seats clustered in the corner and designated as such and nobody touches them and usually I see elderly people sitting despite how packed the train can be.
What I dont't understand here is, it's basic moral values that you give up your seat to elderly, handicapped, pregnant etc -- REGARDLESS if you are sitting in the reserved seat or not. Often times, the people sitting on the non-reserve seat are just as guilty for not giving up their seat because they feel the person on the reserved seat should. But what if the reserved seat was truly occupied by someone elderly, handicapped, pregnant etc?
I've encountered kind people who give their seats up and some who pretend to sleep the moment I get in. As I live 4 stops to my office it's still bearable but there are times during peak hours I still get shoved despite my big belly. Once an elderly nun stood up on her reserved seat further up the carriage n waved frantically at me to take her seat but I signaled to her that I was alighting soon. Bless such people!
I couldnt agree more..
There was once too that i alighted a train and there was this guy who looks like he's around 50-60, but healthy just that hair all white already. he stood up and gave me his seat (reserved seat), but since i saw him like pretty old too, so i politely say "Thanks, but it's okay. You can sit." He smiled and thanked me back.
But then there were also these 2 teenage girls sitting right next to him, just looked at me and chit chatting by themselves.
I hope i can educate my lil one to be more well-mannered and have more sympathy towards others.
Another side track i'd like to share, not related to train. When i was waiting for lift in my block, there were this other lady and a lil boy (i think around pri 1 or even kindergaten) waiting together. Once the lift opened, this boy held up his hand to make the lift keep open and signalled us ladies to get in first. The other lady then said, "no boy, you get in first.." but he just keep standing there holding the lift open..
I feel so touched and i cant helped share a smile and conversation with the other lady. I hope when i have a boy, i can educate him the same way..
I totally agree, when I was pregnant it was very rare that someone would let me sit, and having to take two very busy trains per day it was no fun!
So after my son was born I tried to find a solution to help other mums-to-be.
I think there is a double problem, on one hand pregnant women might feel shy about asking for a seat, on the other sometimes itís not so easy to know if someone is actually pregnant or just a bit overweight, particularly at the beginning.
Thatís why I have created a collection of stylish but fun t-shirts and accessories designed to help women get a seat. They are also ideal to announce and celebrate a pregnancy.
Check out www.mammaonthemove.com
Hope this will help future mums-to-be to improve their travelling experience!