i heard from some friends who used CL that some CLs can also be very domineering and manipulative, esp if their clients are first-time mummies with no experience. i even heard of a CL who scolded my friend's wife during her confinement! so CLs may not necessary be a better option, if this is of any consolation to you. I had my first confinement done by my mom and got very depressed too, perhaps partly due to post-natal blues (post-pregnancy hormones going haywire) coupled by what i felt was lack of encouragement towards my breastfeeding efforts. in the end, i shortened my confinement period. i wasn't really afraid of having to take care of my newborn myself then, although i was also a first-time mummy at that time. Instead I felt that if I had a more positive frame of mind, I could actually learn the ropes faster and be in a better state to take care of both myself and my newborn without breaking down into tears every so often. I guess I also felt confident because I had the strong support of my husband, who is a very hands-on husband and daddy.
i am not suggesting that you shorten your confinement or 'fire' your mum. after all, she is not just any CL, but family. as a start, you could perhaps try telling her how you are feeling, and ask for her support and encouragement. if the situation improves, your stress will be relieved and you won't have to worry about offending your mum more. however, if the situation doesn't improve, the best person to make the assessment of the situation you are going through and make a judgement call as to what is the next best course of action is yourself. do what you think is best for you and your baby. And dont't be afraid of taking care of your baby yourself, if you really have to. Parents, even non-first-timers, make mistakes all the time. It's a never-ending learning journey.
Stay strong!!! =D