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First time mom of 5 months old son

This is a discussion on First time mom of 5 months old son within the Newborn Baby and Infant Care (up to 12 months old) forum, part of the Growing Up & Parenting category; Currently, my hubby & I are working & we hired a nanny to take care of our baby on 24 ...

  1. #1
    Female Attendant
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    Oct 2011
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    Unhappy First time mom of 5 months old son

    Currently, my hubby & I are working & we hired a nanny to take care of our baby on 24 hours basics during weekdays then we will bring the baby back every weekends.

    I have been thinking a lot. Whether to keep my job or quit & take care of my boy like when he's around 6 months, getting ready for solid food & all. This nanny we hired is highly experience just that:
    1. I wanted her to help me quit my son's habit of sarong, she refused and said if we really want, we need to bring the baby back to take care by ourselves.

    2. Every time, after my son spilt out his pacifier or he's awake & she will leave the pacifier somewhere on the table or hang it on the sarong hook & during my son's next round of sleep, she won't wash the pacifier & let my son eat it again.

    3. She even feed my son honey because he can't poo or his poo is hard when we did give her fei zai shui so she can feed it to him if that happens. But yet, she feed him honey -.-

    4. My son is only 4 months plus & I caught her ignoring my son twice, leaving him on the stroller and walk /play by himself. I wonder in total, how many times did he ignored my son. & his still so young. She agreed not to let him sit for a long duration as his bones are all not developed well and strong yet. I know. But.. Sigh ~

    5. Whenever my son drip saliva or vomit milk, she will wipe his mouth using so much force. Baby's skin tends to be more tender and need to be taken well care of right? But why she's using so much force?

    6. When my son falls asleep in the sarong already, she got that automatic sarong rocker but it seems like she's always turning the force to rock quite fast.

    7. The husband always smokes in the house. There was once I went up to their house & son was sleeping inside their master bedroom & when I entered the room, it was filled with cigarette smell which pissed me off max. I asked the wife "Someone smoked inside the room ar" she diam diam, keep quiet. dont't want to reply me. SIGH. Seriously man..

    8. The husband, again. Smoked inside the house but now, in the other room. But, the wife carries my son to that room & they started chatting in both my husband & my presence.

    - We feel so paiseh to keep saying them over & over again & we dont even know how to even raise the topic as well.. That's why, I feel like quitting my job to be a stay at home mum but I am also someone who has no patience, frustrated easily etc. During the weekends when I take care of my boy alone, I sometimes cnt take it as its too stressful coz son is very difficult to coax to sleep, & also a temperamental baby like mummy too =( So called, a high need baby. He also likes to be carried often & also likes to be carried sitting up. Its tiring cause sometimes, I just wished to lie on the bed to rest my body but son just dont't allows.

    - I am earning on hourly basics & babysitter cost us = $800 a month.
    Hubby pays around $500-$600 & I pay around $200-$250 (Depends)
    I take home only around $800+ a month & hubby is around $1200+
    Very short and lack of cash also.
    If no babysitter, hubby still can save a lot & feed the both of us with no problems at all.

    - I wanna quit because:
    * For my own baby's good. Most importantly is his health as I dont wish that the second hand smoke will affect my young innocent son's health.
    * Saves money, a lot of money in fact.
    * Mother and son bonding.

    - I am worried & dont wish to quit my job because:
    * Sometimes, I cannot handle son's temper as he also got bad mood day.
    * I got no patience, attitude problem, stubborn ~ whatever bad character you can name, mostly, I have it.
    * Baby sleep, mummy should sleep too so that got energy to take care of son in the night. But, I am not those kind of people who can fall asleep very fast and not a deep sleeper. In fact, I am a super super light sleeper. Even a pin drops, I can hear. Very very sensitive ears.. Which I hate it so much

    Tell me, what should i do? I am seriously very very very very very lost.
    Definitely, If I choose to take care of son myself, no one will help me only hubby & me.
    Hubby needs to work so he's only free during his off days than that will be the only time he can help me out. Other than that, I am all alone.

    My baby's currently going 5 months on 15/11/2011.
    Can I know whether will baby behave better during their 6 months?
    He's waking up in the night every 3 hours too. (3-4 times every night)
    Maximum 5 hours that's the longest he can sleep but super seldom.
    He's waking up so many times in the night does it mean he's ready for solid?
    He can stick out his tongue now, head's strong, dripping a lot of saliva.
    Interested in food whenever he sees us eating at home & wants to grab our food!
    His next injection's coming soon, will seek nurse/doctor advice regarding this.
    Is it advisable to mixed follow-on 6 months formula milk to his current below 12 months formula milk? Currently he's on Enfalac.

    I really need very essential advice from experience 1st time/ mummies out there.
    I wished to take care of him on my own very much but need to know will he turn out to be better during his 6 months or still need to wait till older a bit?
    Though I strongly understand that every baby is different. But its okay for me. Just share it with me as I just need advice only..

    It will also be good if any stay at home mum are living in Yishun so maybe we can meet up too!
    I need advice to wean my baby off sarong too so bringing him out shopping/my mother's house will be a breeze ~

    I really appreciate the help from all the mummies out here. Thanks in advance!

  2. #2
    Pure Consort apollo's Avatar
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    Feb 2009
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    Re: First time mom of 5 months old son

    How about looking for another nanny or enrol your son to infant care (if finance is a problem)? Actually I feel that your bring home salary 800+ is just nice to cover the nanny fee and your still can survive. So even you stop wking for awhile, you are just stop bringing home whatever you have to pay the nanny. if you intend to continue wking, i think can start to source for infant care or nanny. But since you said you wish to be a stay at home mum to tc your son and is able to work out on the finance part, then I think shdnt be a pro. =)

    Every baby is different, not all will sleep thru at few mths old. mine sleep thru the night from 3 mths old onwards but I heard some only start to sleep thru at 6mths or 1yo.. It is recommended to introduce semi solid when the baby turns 6 mths old. Give him stage 2 formula only when he reach 6 month old, dont mix stage 1 and 2. you can just change it or replace stage 1 with 2 slowly.

    As for the sarong, it is good to wean him off now. I only wean my son off sarong when he was 11mth old. Though he only sleep in sarong during daytime but it was still quite difficult. what i did was: let him fall aslp in sarong 1st then carry him out and let him sleep on the bed/mattress.. after a few weeks, i started to pat him on our bed. At 1st he will cry very badly but as time goes by, the cries shorten and stopped. after awhile he will know his routine.

    Hope that helps =)

  3. #3
    Worthy Lady engel's Avatar
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    Nov 2010
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    Re: First time mom of 5 months old son

    I find you're something like me; I dont't have the patience nor tolerence...I can't stand being cooped up at home, and I'll need work as an 'escape' to keep me sane...

    a nanny at 800 a month is pretty steep, working moms have subsidies of up to 600 for infantcare if I'm not wrong, check with mcys...could ask for additional help if household income is below 1.8k...
    I had the luxury of getting my late mother in law and my mom to help me with my first girl when she was younger, had to put her in childcare now(18mths) as I've a younger girl at 3 mths now and my mom can't handle both at once....

    Both my girls r on enfalac...initially I mixed 3 scoops of enfalact 1 with 1 scoops of enfalac 2 gradually to 1 scoop of 1 and 3 scoops of 2... To purely 2...
    But switched straight to enfalac 3 without mixing as that has vanilla flavour...

    About sleeping through the night, you're right. Every baby is different. #1 sleeps through since 1st month...#2 yet to though she's 3 mths now...they will grow out of it soon... Just that some takes longer than others

    can't help with the sarong bit as didn't use it...both my mom and mother in law against it....

    Btw, the nanny you're with; I suggest you dump her... Firstly she doesn't listen to how you want your baby to be brought up; using the sarong, honey.. Etc etc... Ultimately the one who would suffer would b both you and ure hubby as baby needs to b rocked constantly...
    And smoking? Ciggy smoke is bad for young babies. Higher risk for sudden infant death!...I know, I WAS a heavy smoker... Gave it up for my bubs...:/

    dont't stress.... Hope you'll b able to settle your issues soon....

  4. #4
    Female Attendant Jingjun's Avatar
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    Sep 2011
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    Re: First time mom of 5 months old son


    I quit my job after my maternity leave. At first, I'm not quite willing to quit as I'm in a very good company and been working for about 2years.. It's hard for me to part my job and my colleagues.. My husband is also working.. Both our mothers are working.. We wanted to hire a maid or nanny.. But there are many conquences to bare with.. If we are to hire maid or nanny, we can't know what they might do to our baby as we can't get to see them while we work.. And the cost for hiring a maid and nanny is expensive.. We couldn't afford much too.. We'd been hearing a lot of bad experience about maids.. And it's terrifying us.. As for nanny, you never know if there's anyone smoking in the house or the nanny might be a gambler..

    Both me and my husband discuss and decided that I should quit the job as my salary is not high.. So why not take this 1 year to rest and bond with baby.. I myself is also a light sleeper.. Baby moves I wake up.. But as times goes by, you will eventually get use to it.. I'd a colic baby and I always tell myself I can do it.. It's for my baby.. Time pass very fast.. And I always count the months to her first Christmas, her first CNY an soon after you will realise that your baby already become so big..

    And by the time your baby about a year plus, you can put her to childcare and you can go back to work.. As working mummy get subsidise by government..

    I hope this help..

  5. #5
    Imperial Concubine
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    Apr 2011
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    Re: First time mom of 5 months old son

    yr nanny sounds like my mother in law... what i told her she dont listen want, well, only some she will listen.
    i ever thought of quitting my job too but my salary is consider high.. so very wasted.. and if i stay at home, i will slack want... now im not doing any other things exept looking after my baby , all hsework are done by my mother in law. i sticked to computer whole day except for feeding time... i know myself, i will be very lazy if i stay at home too long.... well, maybe if im staying by ourselves then maybe i will change , for sure i have to do all hsework .

    we decided to put our baby to infant care after my 3rd month maternity leave. im paying only $580. maybe you can consider too cuz in infant care, the care takers are trainned and they will read, tell story, sing to the babies want. down side is, babies will get sick easier but also means they can have the antibodies faster, babies will be indepentant too.

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