This is a discussion on Re: Gan Chiong Daddy To Be Required Pro Parents within the Newborn Baby and Infant Care (up to 12 months old) forum, part of the Growing Up & Parenting category; Hi all experience parents, As awaiting for my junior to be born, i hope to gather as many info as ...
Hi all experience parents,
As awaiting for my junior to be born, i hope to gather as many info as possible to be a good husband and daddy. Pls do spare me a few min of urs to throw me your experience especially "Do And Dont". Specially on the moment of birth onward. Thanks a lot.
- listen to your wife and encourage her no matter how 'silly' her complains may be
- keep your parents away from irritating your wife
- show your wife how great she is (if can afford, get her a present for giving bith to your lil darling for you, if not, a nice hand made card and a big fat kiss will do)
- learn how to handle baby (pls start READING! there's this book in library called pregnancy for dads, it's very good. can also try childcare for daddy)
- call home during lunch time to tell your wife you love her and you'll come back soon to help her
- sms your wife how much you miss HER & baby (remember, it's HER first)
- plan nice 'outings' for your wife (during confinement can sneak some outings when bring baby for check ups) cos it's very boring to be at home the whole day
- get her some magazine or books to read (good book to read during confinement/ML are parenting books "what to expect in the first year" and weaning books on starting solids www.superbabyfood.com
- give your wife a nice massage (feet & back)
- make unnecesary comments like "y so lil milk", "how come still so much flabs/fats?"
- sit around doing NOTHING or nua in front of the tv or be too concentrated on the laptop
Empty vessels make the most noise
first of all, I think by posting such a request, you are half way there. It shows your willingness to help out and do anything.
Here are some additional things I did when my boy came in april
1) Buy lots of DVDs to "entertain" her
2) pay for confinement lady. (dont save the money even if one of your in-laws is helping. Having someone who is paid gives your wife a little more authority in the house which she will be glad to have over any side's parent)
3) get a malay massage for her. It will help her relax a lot.
4) By the last week of confinement, make sure you learnt everything you need to know about taking care of the baby, how much milk every how many hours, change diapers, bathing etc.
5) Try to give full attention to your wife and baby to give her a peace of mind.
JUst nte, 5 in 1 women get the post-natal symdrone, some serious, some mild. But try not to let your wife be one of the five. Help her to relax and ensure her that she is capable of taking care of the kid, esp if this is your first baby,
1) Be there for your wife always - household chores and looking after baby
2) Help her in anyway you can - post pregnancy period is difficult for her coz shes tired, experiencing hormonal changes as well as vulnerable to post natal depression
3) Listen to her woes and rantings - enough to make her stay happy and she knows that you are listening to her
4) Tell her you love her the way she is - she will experience changes physically as well as mentally.
5) Most importantly is to share responsibilities so that your wife will know that you are taking up the new parental role actively.
Its very challenging and very tiring but end of the day, you would have realised that you have built a strong foundation of marriage with your partner as well as realising and accepting the fact that both of you are parents and life will never be the same before, and this strong foundation will last a lifetime throughout the entire journey of marriage and parenthood.
Perks and Surprises : Once in a while bring her out without the baby. Couple bonding after childbirth is very important.
Also surprise her with a gift or flower once in a while to brighten up her monotonous life. Life after childbirth is very different from married without children. You would be surprised that you may also receive a gift in return.
1) Avoid parenthood and leave everything to the wife, examples are hanging out with friends till late night and leaving all the chores to the wife.
2) Quarrel - avoid quarreling over parental roles and responsibities. Its not worth it end of the day.
3) Arguments about how to handle babies etc etc - give and take, if shes thinks its right let her do the feeding/bathing etc etc.
And lastly, handling relationships with in-laws are pretty important as well. Because they will also contribute ideas/advices actively after childbirth to your wife as well.
Last edited by CanCanMum; 05-07-2009 at 11:26 PM.
Make sure you are with her on that labour ward. Talk to her about happy times n memories. And here you are at the finale.
Support her throughout the delivery.
When the baby is out, try not go straight to see the baby. Ask her is she ok? and Thanks her for all this for the past 9 months she had done. After that tell her you wanna check the baby is he/she ok.
Remember your wife first bro, then the baby. hehehehe
If can buy flower for her or get something special after that............
these info are great! i make sure mr khoo read this tonite!
ha.. agree with all the mummies.. think the point here is show your wife you still love her the way she is before marriage. we women likes the feeling of being love and pamper as though still on dating stage..
mr khoo read it. hahahaha.. he took a friday off and bring me for car rides. just like when we are park tor-ing. and weekends he did the house chores.
be the 'white knight saving the damsel' especially if relatives give negative remarks over your parenting choices. Your wife won't be in the right emotional state/mindset to shoot back.
Mother your wife... let her mother the baby.
One key memory I have with my first baby was growing so frustrated over the constant crying even though I had done my absolute best to comfort. Hubby arrived home to find me and baby crying on the bed. He picked baby up and put him in his cot in the other room (still cryin). Then came back to sayang me. Only after I had been comforted did he go back to deal with baby. Although I kept telling him to deal with baby first, I do think it was the best and most loving thing he could have done. Cos after that, I was able to deal with dear son again.
hope this sharing helps.
Im lazy to do chorus... but i try to learn. I learn to love and apprieciate my wife more each very day. Dating can be sweet, why not married and parenthood life be too. That's my believe. Guys, be more responsible. dont't forget the "enjoyment" you had and totally forget your wife suffer for you for 40weeks of pregency and 1mth cannot wash hair.