sometimes kids need a smack
This is a discussion on I can't teach well my son within the General Parenting Discussion forum, part of the Growing Up & Parenting category; My newborn baby which is 2 month now N my elder son is 2.5 year old. His temper is very ...
My newborn baby which is 2 month now N my elder son is 2.5 year old. His temper is very bAd n very naughty . Teach n scold also no use , he dont scare of me. Yelling n screaming keep want me carry .
I been bf my newborn n I know I have less time with my son. All I can do is accompany him on weekend . But last few month he started to spit saliva when ppl say him or when he is angry ..
I really dont know what to do about him n my in law keep complain this n that when they bring him out. When I look after my elder son my in law look after my newborn. In law also say my newborn mafan, when carry then swaddle ..
I stress n effect my supply plus If conti like this I very scare I will go crazy ..
Im a small size mummy weight 37 kg my boy is 13 kg I can't carry him so long as my back is very aching..
Can mummies out there handle naughty kid teach me some way??
sometimes kids need a smack
Actually I've heard of the phrase "terrible two". I believe he is seeking attention and that is why he is doing all that. If he does anything wrong, try negative reinforcement meaning taking away his favourite toy or give him a time-out session. Ask him to sit in a corner and tell him not to move from that corner. After time-out, try explaining to him in a calm but firm voice. Make sure he makes eye contact with you. If you shout at him, chances are he might rebel instead of listening. At the same time, do give him praises or tokens if he does something good. Kids will mimic adults, in speech or actions. Maybe your son saw a scene on TV someone spitting at another person. So probably he thinks it's ok to spit at ppl he dont't like.
If your boy is having sibling rivalry, get him involved when you are bathing your NB or changing diapers. Hopefully this can help to make him closer to his younger sibling.
Lastly, take good care of yourself. dont't forget to have your own "me" time.
Ohhh I so know how you feel! I have difficult days with my 2 year old! My son also goes through the spitting phase. I find he is doing it to get attention, knowing he will be in trouble for it. I tell him that it is rude then ignore this behaviour until he has settled then have a talk with him and spend time with him if possible. In their toddler minds even getting into trouble gets your attention and some attention good or bad is better than none at all.
Sometimes when he became emotional or overwhelmed he just wanted me to carry him, I know he needed me so all I could do was carry him and the newborn together. It was tough when newborn wanted me to walk around so I had to carry both and walk around haha!
When he needs to have time out I send him to the corner or to his room for a minute or 2 then sit with him and explain to him firmly that his behaviour is not acceptable and he needs to apologise to his sister for pushing her or sitting on her or whatever...
Now it is a lot better and I try to have alone time with my son when baby is sleeping, with lots of cuddles and giggles and it really helps. We still have bad days but I have to remind myself (my mum constantly reminds me too) that he is only 2.
Try to get down to their level to see what they see and feel what they feel. At 2 years old they have not't mastered the ability to control their emotions or to work their way through them, they need us to guide them rather than shutting them up. It takes time and A LOT of patience.
I'm still learning to be patient and not resort to smacking as a quick-fix. It takes more effort to address the issue on their level and I'm sure it is worth it in the long run. Giving myself time out helps as well.
It does pass, I'm waiting for it to pass too hehe
Do you heard ABA before? They can help us teach our son behaviour. you can go to search ABA at CDU jurong west medical clinic.
Can your son talk? I think your son is having social skill problem, and also behaviour problem
creeni, I dont't think social/behavioural problem is the right term. It's more of their growing up phase. Like what ast0212 said, the phase will go away. It's too young to term toddlers like her son as having social/behavioural problem. If by primary 1, a kid has that issues, then it's time to get professionals to assess cause by then kids should know that spitting or screaming for attention is not right. And yes, dont't resort to smacking or caning too quickly unless its really necessary.
When my son is 16 month , he start to meltdown and very difficult to bring him shopping mall. Same with ling er son. But the end around 18 months i bring him to see doctor then refer to CDU. The result is my son is a autistic boy with behaviour problem. That is why i suggest ling er to cdu
ABA is a behaviour training for kids 18months to 4 years old. Please search more ABA function
I believe it is likely to be a 'terrible twos' thing. My sis-in-law has a son who started having terrible twos just before age of 2 and lasted a few years. Only at about 6 his behaviour has improved. I will not term this as social/behavioural problems and not so serious as a meltdown.
Kids at this age knows lots of words and are far more understandable than we think. Try to speak to him calmly and tell him what he did is incorrect. dont't just say 'dont't do it' or 'stop doing this'. Try to explain. Kids at this age seek attention all the times. And if you try to understand the toddler, s/he will be happier and a happy child is usually less agressive and reduce irritation.
dont't be too quick to send the child to see a doctor.
Btw, my 19.5 months old is going into terrible twos at the moment. At times, I find it really stressful and tiring but it's bearable. Just a little more patience and LISTEN to the little one - give them your time :-)
I think my son due to jealous that y he behave like that.. I check with his school teacher. He behave well in school just that he dont like to drink water. Everything was fine there. Cos of this little boy my supply drop n also effect my newborn. Plus I insist want tto give ebm not formula.. My son can talk. Sometime he is ok sometime not.. He that kind want ppl to accompany and only want me.. Sometime I bf my girl in room also cannot let him in , he will jump in the bed that make me more worth n cannot concentrate to feed.
Whne baby my girl or change diaper I also dont allow him to come room, same thing he will jump n jump ..
I do talk to him nicely n say y cannot like that.. I'm staying with in law, so my in law will punish him make him scream even louder n yell .. My Hubb is those kind dont like noisy sound. He will yell or angry when he heard that screaming sound..
Im really stress over this.. Whole house seem llike no one is there to help want...