This is a discussion on My 8yo Daughter is Still in Diapers within the General Parenting Discussion forum, part of the Growing Up & Parenting category; Originally Posted by Mum3 Have been slowly trying to get her off diapers for a while every day after school, ...
If she have accidents at home, make her clean it up herself. If her friends laugh at her in school when she have pee/poop without pampers, dont't help her! Let them laugh. She will become potty trained faster like this.
Last edited by katytan; 15-11-2012 at 10:35 AM.
How do you expect her to become potty trained if she always has pampers to catch her pee and poo?
There is no excuse for her to continue wearing pampers. She is just plain lazy. Make her do all the clean up and let her friends laugh at her so that she will finally decide that it is more convenient to use toilets instead of pampers. Tell her that she is a big girl now and throw away all of her pampers in front of her. Let her know that you are serious about no more pampers.
mum3 is trying some techniques ive discussed with her, to slowly start the process of re training. ive also gave her some phycso techniques that should be done during diaper changes to strengthen the lower body area
i certainly dont agree with letting her be humiliated in front of her friends or the aggressive strategy. it would kill her confidence and have a massive psychological affect on her
katytan, imagine wetting yourself in school. It would be a horrifying experience.
Also, I dont't think there are any 8 year olds who refuses to use the toilet and pee/poop themselves on purpose. There is obviously some problem that needs to be overcome before she will gain control of her bladder and bowels.
How about bringing your child to a children's psychiatrist?
think really a psychotherapist would be more usefull. to get her to do some excersises
My daughter is turning 4 soon, she recently had UTI. Luckily with medicines, she has recovered although she needs to go for a check up in 6 months time. Her doc says i need to give her lots of water and medicine to make her poo daily so that she won't have constipation, it causes her UTI. another thing is, sometimes, she controls her urine even though i tell her not too. I would bring her to the toilet even though she struggles. If lucky, she will pee. If not, she will refuse until it's her bath time than she will pee. Sometimes, she would pee alot in her diapers, other times, i have to tell her nicely to pee and not control, than she''ll cooperate.. she is starting school in jan, for a long time, i've already told her that if you need to pee or poo, you must let your teacher know. We even role play it a number of times. I'm just worried when she starts school, she will forget and start to control again. Should i let her wear or not wear diapers when she is at school? If she controls, her UTI will be back. On the other hand, if she wear diapers, will she learn to let the teacher knows that she needs to pee and poo?
My daughter is 5 this yrs and she only want poo in her diaper. i have tried all soft and hard methods to train and stop her but it all dont wrk. Talk softly or use cane and ask her clean her own shit all dont wrk. Doc say she not really and tell us to gv her more time.
Mum3, i can feel you cos i know watever things we do they just dont want to change.
Katytan, are you a mother? Not to feel offended but i have to say all kids are differ and the growing pace also differ. you can't say "she 8 years old already, confirm know how to use the toilet one." We as mother we all want our kids to be good and we also want them to be a better person. If your kid's friends laugh at them in school, hw you feel?
That is quite common. But you should try to wean her off the diapers soon. Mine was on diapers until around that age as well.
My eldest daughter had a bedwetting problem. Initially she wet the bed 1-2 times a week. After I brought those goodnights pampers for her to wear at night, she started wetting the bed every night! After 1 month, I got fed up and told her that she was a big girl and dont't need to wear pampers. No more pampers for her and I also made her clean up by herself. Her bedwetting stopped within 2 weeks...
This is why I say that in order to train your daughter, you must stop allowing her to wear pampers!
With pampers on and all your support in helping her to hide them, she can pee/poo without consequences. There is now no reason to use the toilet now is there? In fact, even I am tempted to wear them provided that they are totally undetectable on an adult.
Anyway, Mum3, any progress on getting your daughter potty trained? I think she is what? primary 4 now? Definitely way past time to stop wearing pampers.
staining and cleaning the bed / mattress can be an agonizing task. for mums who are in transition of training kids to stop bedwetting, i recommend the Protect-A-Bed mattress protector.
I bought it for my kids and my own bed not because of bedwetting problem but because it's waterproof and therefore it is anti-dustmite. my kids have sensitive airway so i try to keep the dustmites away. Since it is water proof, you need not have to worry about staining your mattress (bedwetting or vomiting).
I couldn't find this brand from Singapore so I bought Protect-A-Bed from Malaysia.
My son now is 8 yo. When he is 5 yo. He still wear diapers for whole day. Pee & poo also on diapers. After that my mum ask me go to chinese medical hall buy Medicine to boild for train kids urine. After i boild and let him drink. Then i stop using diapers. But still will wet pants for the 2 days. After 2 days he is ok without diapers.
I think you should bring your daughter to see chinese sinseh. It will help her to get ready faster
I dont't think is your daughter purposely do so. Because when i am 15 yo i still wet my bed at night, 3 times a week. This is due to my stress during exam. I never do it purposely. Who will know what i dream during i wet my bed? I always dreaming to toilet. My mum bring me to chinese doctor and drink chinese medicine. After 6 months i am ok. Please dont't blame the kid first. We must find out why and solve. The kids also dont't want to wet pant
Every child is different. You removed the diaper from your daughter, she manage to overcome bedwetting in 2 weeks. Similarly, try the same thing before - remove all her diaper. Unlike your daughter, she could not train herself to use the toilet. Please keep in mind that this is not merely passing urine on the bed at night. She could not control both during the day and night. Furthermore, after failing on repeated attempts on training and possibility of incontinence, can you imagine how demoralised she is? Do you think letting her wet and soil herself again and again would magically help her gain control? No, I dont't think so. It will only increase the emotional burden on her.
Also, no 9 year old child will happily 'pee/poo themself without consequences'.
She is primary 4 now, and still require diaper, but so what? Even if she have to wear diaper, it does not mean she is less of a person. She has relatively good grades, has good friends, and is respectful towards others. That's much, much more than what I expect from my daughter.
Hmm, I'm wondering if it might be helpful to just slowly increase the amount of time she goes without diapers (or maybe she could wear a pad?). The point is to work through a hierarchy of increasingly challenging situations. For instance, perhaps she could try going without diapers for 20 mins at home for this week. For every day she does that successfully, give her a reward. It could be a sticker on a chart, or something visual. When she collects enough stickers, she could redeem a big reward. This would help keep her motivated, and show her that you're supportive of her through her difficulties. When she is successful with 20 mins, slowly increase the interval that she is also comfortable with. Or perhaps decrease the size of the diapers (just brainstorming here - unsure if there are many sizes to choose from!). I think it's important to start small, so that her self-esteem can be boosted from the little successes. She would really benefit from the encouragement.
Didn't you say in the first post that the doctors ruled out any physical problem?
So, the only way to gain control is to get rid of her pampers and make her practice....
So, no pampers at home. Make her go to the toilet once every hour or something.
Personally, i think you are very irresponsible to not force her to stop using pampers...
Up to you.... You daughter will blame you in the future for not helping her to gain control.
hi mum3, it's been a couple of months since you first post. how are things? any improvement on your daughter? hope you're copping well too....
himum3, i stumble across this guide that will help your daughter to do away with the diapers. after all these years for you, i'm sure it's worth trying out this high success rate guide. View Start Potty Training. All the best!
i agree with kaytan, you need to stop her from wearing diapers, not only at home but especially outside and in school.
she's 9years old, doctor also said that there's no problems with her. probably she's being too used to pee and poo in diapers already.
she might be embarrassed in school or public, but you need to think further.
she need to start somewhere, you cant possibly hope that one day she will magically know how to pee and poo in the toilet without having to go thru the bad times right? the older she gets, the bigger the problem is. you dont want her to start learning really the hard way when she's at high school or beyond that.
it has to start somewhere.. with no turning back, try not go back to diapers because she cant cope emotionally. she's totally a normal healthy child let her go thru this.
the older she gets, it will hit her harder.
Yes, i agreed with other mommies. In the long run, she is going to suffer in terms of emotionally. Will other kids laugh at her? How will she feel? Yes you have to let her learn it the hard way... Thats why when young you dont train, when they grow up its even harder.
Mum3, you are too soft on her.
Potty training need to practice. How to practice if she always have a pamper there to catch everything?
She is primary 6 now.. Definitely wayyyyyy past time to be potty trained...
Dont tell me you will be sending her to secondary school in pampers?
What next? Marry wearing pampers????
When my girl is 4 she's still in diapers but sometimes she would alert us that she wants to go pee or poo. She's already in Nursery 2. And 1 fine day she suddenly told me, mummy I dont't want pampers. Yes she does soil once a while pee but I always make sure bring extra pants out and plastic bags.
Every kid is different, some can potty trained early some can't, some are more smart than others, some are cuter than others, and some can use soft approach while some you just have to do it the old traditional way.
My point is, whatever above kind your kid is, end of the day, it's your kid.
I do feel you are trying to help your daughter, but probably you need to try a bit harder. dont't find or give excuses for both you and your daughter. Like scared she soil the sofa or bed or floor. Soil then clean up. How hard can it be. Got poop on floor just use toilet paper pick up and mop it. Ask yourself which is more important? Your daughter well being or cleanliness of your furniture?
Wish you luck and may your daughter and you both succeed.