Why do you need to get approval from them?
This is a discussion on SAHMs-Face any disapproval from people? within the Stay at Home or Work at Home Mum Club forum, part of the MummySG Lifestyle category; Hi all, I am a new stay at home mom. Hubs & I actually made this decision, for me to ...
I am a new stay at home mom. Hubs & I actually made this decision, for me to stay at home when I was pregnant. But facing quite a bit of disapproval from friends; both his & mine. Feeling really down, as there doesn't seem to be that support I need. Most, in fact all my close friends are single or married without kids, so nobody understands either. Does anyone face alot of disapproval too?
Why do you need to get approval from them?
I'm a new stay at home mum too. Even worse, I quit my job on 1st March with intention to take a short break before finding new job after holiday in May. End March I found out I was pregnant. So I was unmarried, pregnant & jobless. After much trials & tribulations we finally registered in Sept. I know my husband doesn't like the idea of stay at home mum coz he feels we need to be a dual income family to have the standard of living he prefers. Whenever he talks to me about his problems, he will mention about this. Sometimes it's demoralising to meet his female colleagues whom he constantly stress are working moms. But my dear daughter is only 2mths. I dont't like the idea of her being raised by the maid or the childcare centre. My husband holds a high position in his company & brings home a 5 figure salary. (I'm just guessing coz he never wants to tell me his income.) Why can't we make it work when other families survive on a lower budget? My biggest critic is my own husband.
Sounds tough...I feel that it boils down to family planning... not just "you say I do" thingy... cos' it's going to be long journey ahead...
$$ plays a big part... alot of families quarrel and split over this.
Extravagant lifestyle and kids dont't mix :P
Tougher if you dont have parents/mother in law to help take care the kids... I see those maids bringing kids to sch.... dont know how much love the kid gets... but of cos' I dont think parents would want to leave the kids with the maid if they have a choice.
My dear husband n me is fine with me been a stay at home mum but it is my mother in law who isnt very happy that i am a stay at home mum~ Mayb bcoz she dote on my dear husband alot so dont want my dear husband b the only 1 earning $$ BUT with my dear husband's salary it is more than enuff for us~
It is so sickening to hear sum "hint hint" ya to go back wrk every now n then WHEN i am actually preg now~
I am a full time working mum. But not by choice though. dear husband wanted me to stay home and look after dear son. My mum insisted I must work. After much deliberation, 'brainstorming' and lectures during my ML, I returned back to work.
There just isnt enuff $ if I do not work. Both my parents and his parents have retired and dear husband salary is enuff only to cover his own expenses....
I really admire ladies who are able to make it and stay at home with their kids. Jia You!
stay at home mum really have lots of pressures and some from own family and some from outsiders. Sometimes stay at home mum also think that no contribution to the family income and this is also kind of stress. The most important is to get support from hubby!
For me, the ideal is to become a Mompreneur! I call myself Mompreneur which I'm a mom that have own home business. Home biz is a good way to have our own income while have time with the kids..
I got a website about Mompreneur so that to share more with moms and if you like to know more about home biz, visit Mompreneur Asia
This is a free website and just for sharing ~~ =)
Remember that your friends have never been in your situation so it's difficult for them to understand your choices. Prior to being a mother I could never imagine not having a career, but motherhood really changed my priorities.
Just not sure why this is so... When we are pregnant with first child and wanted to become a stay at home mum, ppls will not say , " ya , you should stay at home, relax and enjoy the pregnancy". But if your hubby approved and both of you had worked out that it will be best for you to stay at home then WHY NOT? Why worry about what others got to say. On the other hand, i guess they envied you. Not everyone has this privilege to become a stay at home mum.
hi baby mittens,
I'm a stay at home mum too but fortunately our family, relatives and friends are very supportive so far.
Most important is that you & hubby have agreed and decided on this and you both have each other's support. What matters are the precious moments that only you can savour with your child, that joy will surpass any hurtful remarks.
Shut your ears to "cold water" from other people, maybe they're jealous or lack understanding of what it involves since most your friends are single or without kids (*thinking you've a good life, no need to work, just stay at home...).
If I were in your position, I would stay focus on why I want to be a stay at home mum, devote my energy to my child and enjoy my motherhood journey rather than fretting over the mindless remarks.
Befriend other SAHMs e.g. in this forum for support!
Thank you all for your replies...
I know it's all worth it. Whenever I see her smile at me, every trouble is forgotten. But it's really frustrating. I hate it when they keep saying stay at home will nuah & all that crap.Because I didn't do this to nuah. If anything, I feel so so tired sometimes. Clock runs around hers so hardly any time to do much, let alone rest. Other people gets off days, leave, I dont't. Hell, I dont't even get paid. Haha. I'm glad I have hubs support. But been having alot of problems with him too. Feel like we love each other but can't seem to communicate. & worse, I am feeling so insecure bout my looks & everything. Sigh...
Why you insecure bout looks? stay at home mum looks the same as full time working mum bah, minus the office clothes.
My husband in honesty told me if I ever let myself go & start looking like those fat sloppy aunties, dont't blame him for losing his attraction for me. I told him if he starts to grow hair everywhere else but the top of his head, develop a gut the size of a 7mth old preggie & have a comb over hairdo, I'll have to find myself a younger man.
It can be quite lonely being a stay at home mum. Especially when baby still a hatchling.
some of my friends also do not understand why i chose to be stay at home mum (even thou a few of them are mums themselves)... to them, it was impt that they had their own career... but to me, i rather spend time at home with my kids than handle office politics/endless office work... so i choose to ignore them...
Same same. My dear daughter born on 30 Nov 08.
boy or girl? I went out with my dear daughter yesterday & found it really tough to juggle a baby & a pram when alone. Going out is no longer the same, what with the diaper change & the feeding & trying to find the most pram friendly routes. I find people to be so noisy as well. Mayb I just need time to get use to it all.
Being a stay home mom is a personal choice, your way of living the life YOU want. You do not have to answer to anybody.
As long as you are happy and not straining the finance of the home, why not?
you can give all the attention to your husband and babies!