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This is a discussion on Confused within the Introduce Yourself forum, part of the Community Lounge category; Hi everyone I am 27 year old and about 12-13 weeks pregnant. I am Malaysian and my partner (or maybe ...

  1. #1
    Female Attendant
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Rep Power

    Question Confused

    Hi everyone
    I am 27 year old and about 12-13 weeks pregnant. I am Malaysian and my partner (or maybe boyfriend) is a Singaporean.
    I know him about 2 years ago and we are in some kinda funny relationship. I mean, attached but always quarrel and break up.
    The problem is I do not know what's my feeling now. My boyfriend or maybe ex-boyfriend ready all the way to be responsible.
    I dont know if I still love him, or got any feeling for him. What I know is, every time we are together, I always want to scold him, always
    gets angry over small things and he's not a man that can tolerate with such anger.

    He is someone who is very family man, loves him friends, religious, but very bad tempered.. as well as me.
    Over the year, we always quarrel, many times he will chase me out of his house because he said its really my fault, but eventually,
    surprisingly, we will catch up again, over, and over again...

    Many times, if we quarrel, he wants to break up, block all our connection, and chase me. So I called him BBC (Break, Block, Chase).
    I've talked to my family about this, and my older sister who have hot tempered husband suggested me not to marry him.
    My parents asked me to go home and stay with them, they will take care of me and everything.
    But I am thinking about the baby future. I am wonder if I could be a single mother. What will happen to my baby if I deliver him/her without father?
    Or to be more specific, without Marriage Certificate. Will government take him/her away?There's a lot in my mind. And I couldn't bear it anymore.

    His mother who I thought be to so nice and religious person suggested that if I could take the risk and bear it, choose the abortion and carefree.
    She said, that is the only option that both parties won't have any problem, either with MOM (Ministry Of Manpower) or SG-MY government. But I
    really cannot imagine myself killing my own blood n healthily grow in me. OMG! Luckily, her son doesn't agree, as well as me.

    I dont know if I am happy or sad about this pregnancy because this is my very first time to experience this. But then even if I am not ready or maybe dilemma, I dont want my baby to be taken away. I want my baby. I am just not ready with this situation, what more with someone that I am not really into...

    While he so excited waiting for the approval of marriage from MOM, he even named the baby, arrange an appointment for me, accompany me to hospital, remind me to take all the medicine accordingly, cook for me, but...Really none of this could change me. Or am I really born to be a creature that has no heart??

    please guide and teach me...
    thank you very much for helping and supporting.

    p.s : He's the one who introduced this forum to me :P - And I didn't even make any research for pregnancy. He did himself >.<
    Last edited by Fyn Lim; 30-06-2014 at 09:59 AM.

  2. #2
    Female Attendant
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Rep Power

    Re: Confused

    Hi Fyn,

    How's things with your boyfriend now? Hope the situation is better..

    Why is it that when you're with him, you always want to scold him, and get angry over small things? Have you reflected on that before?

    From what you said about what he has done for you and the baby, it sounds like he's willing to try to work this out. So if you said it's a problem of bad temper, perhaps both of you can go for some sort of counselling?


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