This is a discussion on Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation within the Single Parents Support Group forum, part of the MummySG Special Group category; Originally Posted by confuselostsoul Hi all.. im currently asking for separation from his too but he doesnt want to agree ...
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
I old already loh. Cannot party loh. But seriouly I need to get my life settle down first before I could think of any other things.
Hi Ting, thanks for the encouragement.
Now what is in my mind will be how to get settle down with my new life. Financial planning like housing loan, daily expenses of me and my girl etc. And also how to bring up my girl and make her grow up happily with mummy only.
I can tell you I am a clueless mum. Many many worries about my girl.
We r not cruel just planning d best for her... The reality always cruel that we do not have choice but to plan accordingly... Who do not want our kids to grow up in complete family but just our luck married someone like tis. We cant blame anyone but faith or karma... Is a test, whether we can pass or fail? Easier to say to let go but when come to doing it will be difficult. I rather to live a life without him than live a life which everyday quarrel, it will impact more on our kid in long term...
Hi. Happy to see this thread going on. Hope to get some advice from all of you.
I'd consulted a lawyer last wk, and he gave me some instructions on what to start preparing...my grounds for divorce, list of expenses etc. He said that he'll email me about our discussion, but up till now, I have not't seen his email. dont't know whether I understood wrongly, but just wondering whether this will be a good lawyer for me if he doesn't do good follow up. Hmm. Another thing is that he seems to be one of those who prefer to "settle". Cld be because that is obviously the cheapest and fastest way out, but I feel that my soon-to-be ex is going to fight me for the flat and money, so dont't know whether my lawyer is "fierce" enough. Another question is how much going to court will cost me if I were to fight my ex. Sigh.
Damn sian that he's the one who wants to get a divorce but doesn't want to file, so I have to end up paying more than him in fees?
Also, one last qn. For your mummies, how did you settle the issue about your house/flat? In my case, he paid for the majority through his CPF. I read online that unless the court orders him to transfer his share to me, and postpone the refund of his CPF funds, the only way for me to continue staying in my flat is for him to sell me his share, but I'll have to repay all his CPF. I do have some cash savings, but I need all the money I have for the days going forward.
Appreciate your advice..... Sigh. Thanks.
Hope this will help you also.
I feel that engaging a good lawyer is very important especially when we will be going to court. If you have no confidence in the lawyer or you feel unsure, maybe you can go look around for more choices.. See which lawyer you prefer.. Usually after meeting the lawyer, they will send you an email to update you about the meeting and points discussed. Thats what my lawyer will send to me. In any case, going to court will surely cost a lot of money probably 10k or more.. depending how long the case drags. For me, i hire a good lawyer from those big company. Of course will be very expensive but if im in good hands, i dont mind paying for the money. Im currently in a lawsuit too. Stay strong!
I think there should be good kind hearted lawyers who can do good favours for those unfortunate ones. If they win the case, they can recoup the fees from the other side?
How much is your lawyer charging you? For the basic divorce arrangements, and then subsequently per hour for the "fight"? Is yours a female or male lawyer?
Yes, I'm going for a second opinion. Getting another contact from another friend. The first one still hasn't emailed me anything yet, so I'm having big doubts.
Hmm...10K or so, I can still afford. Sigh. Guess I better mentally prepare myself for that. He has already indicated that he'll let me have custody. But I really need the flat, and it's going to be hard for me to refund his CPF monies, which will pretty much leave me with no $ left. Might even need to tk a bank loan.
Are you also trying to get your matrimonial home too? Any advice your lawyer gave you?
Oh... wondering whether anyone else might also be able to share their take on child maintainance. My lawyer said that the amt asked for, shld be based on current situation i.e. whatever we're spending on my child currently. In future, when the amt changes, we'll need to go back to court to request for more money. Is that the way typically? But each time, we want to change the sum, we have to go get a lawyer and go back to court?
Hi Poppy, are you staying in HDB and are you eligible to get hdb loan? If yes, then you can do hdb website to apply for HLE and take his share for the flat. No cash required only about $200 for the processing fee. The rest can deduct from your cpf. Unless the amt loaned you is lesser than what you have to pay him then you need top up cash.
dear all mummies, i m thinking of organizing a support group for single mummies / mummies with similar situations ... wondering whether will you all be interested just for a session of sharing? i m not a single mummy but also having prob with my hubby recently... am also considering divorce though no wish to end up this path, too...
If possible, would of course prefer to not be in debt. The amt he paid through CPF is rather significant. He doesn't need the money immediately, and he can always move back to his parents' house which will be his soon anyway. But if I were to have to "buy" over his share of our flat, I would be significantly in debt, which is a position I hope to try to be able to avoid, considering what lies ahead.
hi poppy, glad that you are open to it... seriously i dont really know how to organize it for the time being... shall i leave down my contact no here or what do you suggest? i have been thinking of moving out with my 20th month old toddler for the whole morning but feel that it may be very selfish of me coz for my boy coz he just get used to his playgroup and there are changes again... i have mixed feeling... sigh
Why do you want to defer payment to him? It incurs interest. As long he agree to transfer the flat to your name, just get it written on your divorce conditions. But provided you had full custody of the child. you can go to hdb branch to check your current flat outstanding and the loan you need to pay him. From there you can calculate your monthly payment based on 30yrs .
Hi im new here. Manage to chance upon this thread. Im currently going through a battle of Divorce for the past 2-3 years. It's been quite stifling for me and will appreciate if i can meet some people who are sharing the same experience as me so we can talk and help each other out.
Please let me know if there is a meeting organized. Will deeply appreciate it.
Ting, i really love your quote. It really makes good sense.
hi stifled, i m currently arranging with another 2 mummies who are interested to meet up... can you pm me your email add so that i can include you in our email discussion? thanks
Yes that will be great. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org
Looking forward to hearing from you soon.