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Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

This is a discussion on Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation within the Single Parents Support Group forum, part of the MummySG Special Group category; Originally Posted by confuselostsoul Hi all.. im currently asking for separation from his too but he doesnt want to agree ...

  1. #26
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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Quote Originally Posted by confuselostsoul View Post
    Hi all.. im currently asking for separation from his too but he doesnt want to agree to anything and refuse to sign anything. He also say i am not capable of taking care of my 18months old girl whereby i have been doing it since birth till she is 14months and i come out to work. But now he tell me i am not going to take my baby with me (move out) .He say at least he have his parent to look after her but i dont have. what his parent do is play with her, feed her etc. I am very sure they cant give her what she wants neither he can. my bond with my baby is very strong. But he just want to take her away from me.

    can somebody tell me what i can do? I am very sad knowing that he doesnt allow me to take my baby. should i get a lawyer to do this? we married only for 2 years.
    you r the mother, no one can take your child away from you, even your husb. the judge would usually give the mother the child's custody(esp if the kid is under 4), unless the mother is deemed unfit to take care of the child. since you have a job now, and can bring your girl up with your ex husb giving you maintenance fee, shldnt be an issue.

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Quote Originally Posted by bluejustina75 View Post
    I'm paying my gal's infant care fees, milk powders, pampers...etc, he ever claimed "wouldn't pay me a single cents", now sometime he will give when he remember but most of d times I will rejected and only took a bit for electricity, property tax, town council & Starhub cable tv... My salary just enough to support myself n gal.. Will tis affect if I request for maintainence fees frm him when I file for divorce? Will d judge said I can manage myself then y I need to ask maintainence fees frm him? Can anyone advice me in tis?

    Most of d baby stuffs are paid by me he only paid few things but not his money as well cos is paid by his Aunty or d ang bao money frm his families...
    maintenance fee for the child MUST be given, whether he likes it or not. even you earning 10K a month and he earns only 1K, your husb still need to give you maintenance fee for your child. yes, the law protects the women, so the men have to suck it up!

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Quote Originally Posted by willows View Post
    Siling,

    Happy for you that you've found a good partner.

    I dont't have such luck. Furthermore I am currently finding my path and trying to settle down with my girl now. Just hope to see rainbow after the tunnel.

    Now I never think of having another partner at this moment. Now I just want to get over my ex and live happily with my girl.

    Btw, my ex is more eager to get a divorce then me. Seems like he had planned all these long time ago. The reason that he file for divorce are all craps and lies. I shall contest on his reason for divorce. He accuse me of many many unreasonable stuff. When my lawyer saw his reasons he was laughing off. I will fight all the way for my rights.
    dont be disheartened. somtimes fate plays a very impt role, and many times, it gets to you very unexpectedly. i never thought of finding another man whom i can settle down with after breaking up with my ex. i had bfs, but not so serious to that extent, more like just dating and gg out. then one fine day, i went out to party with my gfs and i met my current bf. well, never thought we will end up in a long n serious r/s.. and we are getting married next yr. so.. just let nature take its course !
    Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Ting,

    I old already loh. Cannot party loh. But seriouly I need to get my life settle down first before I could think of any other things.

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Quote Originally Posted by willows View Post
    Ting,

    I old already loh. Cannot party loh. But seriouly I need to get my life settle down first before I could think of any other things.
    haha no . im not asking you to party but what i mean is that, of ALL places i met my better half there.. haha!! many of my friends also quite surprised that he is a good man~ dont worry and think too much , fate always come unexpectedly! now just focus on stabalizing things.

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Hi Ting, thanks for the encouragement.

    Now what is in my mind will be how to get settle down with my new life. Financial planning like housing loan, daily expenses of me and my girl etc. And also how to bring up my girl and make her grow up happily with mummy only.

    I can tell you I am a clueless mum. Many many worries about my girl.

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    We r not cruel just planning d best for her... The reality always cruel that we do not have choice but to plan accordingly... Who do not want our kids to grow up in complete family but just our luck married someone like tis. We cant blame anyone but faith or karma... Is a test, whether we can pass or fail? Easier to say to let go but when come to doing it will be difficult. I rather to live a life without him than live a life which everyday quarrel, it will impact more on our kid in long term...

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    totally agree.

    Quote Originally Posted by bluejustina75 View Post
    We r not cruel just planning d best for her... The reality always cruel that we do not have choice but to plan accordingly... Who do not want our kids to grow up in complete family but just our luck married someone like tis. We cant blame anyone but faith or karma... Is a test, whether we can pass or fail? Easier to say to let go but when come to doing it will be difficult. I rather to live a life without him than live a life which everyday quarrel, it will impact more on our kid in long term...

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Hi. Happy to see this thread going on. Hope to get some advice from all of you.

    I'd consulted a lawyer last wk, and he gave me some instructions on what to start preparing...my grounds for divorce, list of expenses etc. He said that he'll email me about our discussion, but up till now, I have not't seen his email. dont't know whether I understood wrongly, but just wondering whether this will be a good lawyer for me if he doesn't do good follow up. Hmm. Another thing is that he seems to be one of those who prefer to "settle". Cld be because that is obviously the cheapest and fastest way out, but I feel that my soon-to-be ex is going to fight me for the flat and money, so dont't know whether my lawyer is "fierce" enough. Another question is how much going to court will cost me if I were to fight my ex. Sigh.

    Damn sian that he's the one who wants to get a divorce but doesn't want to file, so I have to end up paying more than him in fees?

    Also, one last qn. For your mummies, how did you settle the issue about your house/flat? In my case, he paid for the majority through his CPF. I read online that unless the court orders him to transfer his share to me, and postpone the refund of his CPF funds, the only way for me to continue staying in my flat is for him to sell me his share, but I'll have to repay all his CPF. I do have some cash savings, but I need all the money I have for the days going forward.

    Appreciate your advice..... Sigh. Thanks.

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation


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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Quote Originally Posted by mommytots View Post
    Thanks mommytots. Didn't know about this. Will try and go for the 14 Jul session. Appreciate it.

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Hi Poppy,

    I feel that engaging a good lawyer is very important especially when we will be going to court. If you have no confidence in the lawyer or you feel unsure, maybe you can go look around for more choices.. See which lawyer you prefer.. Usually after meeting the lawyer, they will send you an email to update you about the meeting and points discussed. Thats what my lawyer will send to me. In any case, going to court will surely cost a lot of money probably 10k or more.. depending how long the case drags. For me, i hire a good lawyer from those big company. Of course will be very expensive but if im in good hands, i dont mind paying for the money. Im currently in a lawsuit too. Stay strong!

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    I think there should be good kind hearted lawyers who can do good favours for those unfortunate ones. If they win the case, they can recoup the fees from the other side?

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Quote Originally Posted by willows View Post
    Hi Ting, thanks for the encouragement.

    Now what is in my mind will be how to get settle down with my new life. Financial planning like housing loan, daily expenses of me and my girl etc. And also how to bring up my girl and make her grow up happily with mummy only.

    I can tell you I am a clueless mum. Many many worries about my girl.
    dont worry so much, you'll do fine. we all learn as we go. the world is so vast, and many things just happen expectantly. take some time to adapt to the adjustment, your child will too. jiayou!

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Quote Originally Posted by Mandy Wong View Post
    Hi Poppy,

    I feel that engaging a good lawyer is very important especially when we will be going to court. If you have no confidence in the lawyer or you feel unsure, maybe you can go look around for more choices.. See which lawyer you prefer.. Usually after meeting the lawyer, they will send you an email to update you about the meeting and points discussed. Thats what my lawyer will send to me. In any case, going to court will surely cost a lot of money probably 10k or more.. depending how long the case drags. For me, i hire a good lawyer from those big company. Of course will be very expensive but if im in good hands, i dont mind paying for the money. Im currently in a lawsuit too. Stay strong!
    Thanks Mandy. Are you also at the start of proceedings? You sound very confident and prepared. For me, I seem very confident on the outside, but inside, a part of me wishes to dig a hole, bury myself in the ground, in the hope that somehow things will work themselves through. Sigh. But that's just defeatist.

    How much is your lawyer charging you? For the basic divorce arrangements, and then subsequently per hour for the "fight"? Is yours a female or male lawyer?

    Yes, I'm going for a second opinion. Getting another contact from another friend. The first one still hasn't emailed me anything yet, so I'm having big doubts.

    Hmm...10K or so, I can still afford. Sigh. Guess I better mentally prepare myself for that. He has already indicated that he'll let me have custody. But I really need the flat, and it's going to be hard for me to refund his CPF monies, which will pretty much leave me with no $ left. Might even need to tk a bank loan.

    Are you also trying to get your matrimonial home too? Any advice your lawyer gave you?

    Oh... wondering whether anyone else might also be able to share their take on child maintainance. My lawyer said that the amt asked for, shld be based on current situation i.e. whatever we're spending on my child currently. In future, when the amt changes, we'll need to go back to court to request for more money. Is that the way typically? But each time, we want to change the sum, we have to go get a lawyer and go back to court?

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Hi Poppy, are you staying in HDB and are you eligible to get hdb loan? If yes, then you can do hdb website to apply for HLE and take his share for the flat. No cash required only about $200 for the processing fee. The rest can deduct from your cpf. Unless the amt loaned you is lesser than what you have to pay him then you need top up cash.

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    dear all mummies, i m thinking of organizing a support group for single mummies / mummies with similar situations ... wondering whether will you all be interested just for a session of sharing? i m not a single mummy but also having prob with my hubby recently... am also considering divorce though no wish to end up this path, too...
    Stifled likes this.

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Quote Originally Posted by Princekitty View Post
    Hi Poppy, are you staying in HDB and are you eligible to get hdb loan? If yes, then you can do hdb website to apply for HLE and take his share for the flat. No cash required only about $200 for the processing fee. The rest can deduct from your cpf. Unless the amt loaned you is lesser than what you have to pay him then you need top up cash.
    Hi Princekitty, thanks. I'm aware of the HDB loan, but was hoping for a possibility that I can defer repayment of his CPF. With the change in CPF regs, I know that's possible, but just not sure what it takes for the judge to mk such a decision. And approx how much legal $ I would need to incur before that can be done.

    If possible, would of course prefer to not be in debt. The amt he paid through CPF is rather significant. He doesn't need the money immediately, and he can always move back to his parents' house which will be his soon anyway. But if I were to have to "buy" over his share of our flat, I would be significantly in debt, which is a position I hope to try to be able to avoid, considering what lies ahead.

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Quote Originally Posted by karoru View Post
    dear all mummies, i m thinking of organizing a support group for single mummies / mummies with similar situations ... wondering whether will you all be interested just for a session of sharing? i m not a single mummy but also having prob with my hubby recently... am also considering divorce though no wish to end up this path, too...
    Hi Kaoru, I'm open to that. Would be good to be able to talk to pple in similar situations. Fortunately or unfortunately, most of my friends have never walked down this path before. Those who did, dont't have kids, so things were much simpler for them.
    Stifled likes this.

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    hi poppy, glad that you are open to it... seriously i dont really know how to organize it for the time being... shall i leave down my contact no here or what do you suggest? i have been thinking of moving out with my 20th month old toddler for the whole morning but feel that it may be very selfish of me coz for my boy coz he just get used to his playgroup and there are changes again... i have mixed feeling... sigh

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Why do you want to defer payment to him? It incurs interest. As long he agree to transfer the flat to your name, just get it written on your divorce conditions. But provided you had full custody of the child. you can go to hdb branch to check your current flat outstanding and the loan you need to pay him. From there you can calculate your monthly payment based on 30yrs .

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Hi im new here. Manage to chance upon this thread. Im currently going through a battle of Divorce for the past 2-3 years. It's been quite stifling for me and will appreciate if i can meet some people who are sharing the same experience as me so we can talk and help each other out.
    Please let me know if there is a meeting organized. Will deeply appreciate it.
    Thanks

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Ting, i really love your quote. It really makes good sense.

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    hi stifled, i m currently arranging with another 2 mummies who are interested to meet up... can you pm me your email add so that i can include you in our email discussion? thanks

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    Re: Any good & sincere Lawyer to recommend for divorce/separation

    Quote Originally Posted by karoru View Post
    hi stifled, i m currently arranging with another 2 mummies who are interested to meet up... can you pm me your email add so that i can include you in our email discussion? thanks
    Thanks Kaoru.
    Yes that will be great. My email is n2bhappy@gmail.com
    Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

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