star70, you r not alone too.
I was like you also, still hestiating to step on to the point of no return too. Also got the other woman telling me to leave my husband and let him go since there were no love btw me and my husband. (all that happened two year ago in sept 2011 ) the next thing my life was on a roller-coaster too.. and now my husband himself chose to return back to me after he left the other woman last november 2012. and of cos after my husband patched back with me, the other woman also insisted that i should have filed for divorce in order to prevent him from returning back and she could still be with my husband by now(to me she is actually unstable and unsound in mental shrugz.)
like other marriages that broke down due to the husbands' affairs everywhere, frankly i also lost feelings for him and without my realising he also lost feelings for me average same period. but now he insisted he woke up and was very remorseful and blind to have such thoughts that the other woman was better than me in many ways but hello, the other woman was still married at the time she had on-going affair with my husband and at the same time he thought the other woman had only her husband n him(my husband) but he never dreamt that she was still flirting and sleeping around with other men too. as a result he regretted not trusting me and dumped me for her sake which was worse and it left my heart deeply scarred too even now.
Those other women will surely have their retribution somedays. Carry on what you deem fit and dont care about the other woman shouting or confronting you..
you dont have to stay in misery and carry on with your life without yr husband(not sure if you divorced already). Just focus on yourself and your kids and you will be happier one day. Have faith.
for now he said he still got feelings for me and i am still his love but to me it was his way of sweet talking me and of cos i dont feel anything anymore for him except doubts and my mindset that he is a liar and actor forever.