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My Life Story

This is a discussion on My Life Story within the Single Parents Support Group forum, part of the MummySG Special Group category; I would like to share my life story which has not come to an end but the journey along the ...

  1. #1
    Female Attendant
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
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    My Life Story

    I would like to share my life story which has not come to an end but the journey along the way is full with hurt and pain..

    I got to know my husband in 1997 in school, those days he was courting after me very hard but our relationship only lasted for 1/2 a year as i felt that we have not seen enough and initiate to go our separate ways. He was badly hurt and soon after he was with a kind-hearted lady who loves him deeply for long time.

    Along the time, we still contacted each other on and off till one day, his gf found out that he was still contacting me and reuqested him to stop. He had make a decision and told me that he will not call me again. I accepted it as i felt im the one who gave up him in the 1st place.

    Two years later, we met again and this time round, nothing seem to stop us, within a month, we are together and he has abandoned his gf because of me. Though we both felt very bad at heart but nevertheless never really think of how the other will feel as we are both young and impulsive..

    Time flies, we ROM in the year 2003 and got customary marriage in 2004, gave birth to a beautiful daughter in that year too. Everything seems fine, a simple and yet happy family. What else can i ask for?

    But due to our sturbborn character, we fight a lot in the last 2 years. Our marriage was not as smooth sailing but me being so naive, always thought that "HE" will never leave me, never leave this family as i always believe in fate, after seaparted for two years in our young days and we can still get back together, its really fate.

    Im just too naive!! Last year december, after a confrontation as i saw some pics with him and one lady in his facebook, he told me that he want to divorce. I must admit i have ever mentioned the word "D" in the past but i have never meant it in my heart and this time round, i can sense the seriousness. Somthing is not right somewhere as i felt his persistence in pursuing the "D"..

    I spent one whole month talking to him when there's a chance (everything especially our daughter) but nothing seems to hit him. He felt that im very naggy and use this as an excuse for not coming back home. Initially was everyday out but will come back home, slowly it become once a week and he will stay the night outside, till now sometimes can hit twice a week..He has forced in a way to cut all communications with me, deleted me off from his facebook, stop talking to me only when necessary, outcast me from his friends. We are now living in our own world though under one roof. He is seldom home and sad to say both my gal and myself can only see him when the sky gets dark everyday. He will usually comes home in the middle of the night. Towards my gal, he has somehow distant himself from her too which my gal can sense it too.

    Though i know by instinct that he is having an affair outside but i chose to keep mum about it as i want to keep this family, i want my gal to have a complete family just like the other kids. I just pray and hope for miracle, hope that one day, he will realised and return to this family which belong to him. Now that i have stop communicating with him, just dont know what to tok due to the hurt, and he did not mentioned about the "D"..but no one knows what exactly on his mind and what is he thinking about?

    This is a very tough journey for me and my daughter and many times i will fall off-track due to the hurt he has given us...but God is still good to me in some ways, i have a good boss and a few supportive colics and friends who are always there for me when i fall....they will comfort and give me advises, most imptly, they lend me their listening ears which pick me up again and walk thru the journey.

    My vision is not clear, i dont know what's my direction and i dont know where am i heading to? Where is my destination? Will i see sunshine after the rain? Too many uncertainties but right now as im not willing to give up my 13yrs relationship/marriage just because of a few months affair as i felt that its not worth to let go just like that. On the other hand, i think of my gal and i think he too is thinking of her.

    So sorry, guess my story is too long to share but i just need to let go by writing...

  2. #2
    Worthy Lady
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    Re: My Life Story

    Sorry to hear. Stay strong for yourself and your gal..*hugs*

  3. #3
    Worthy Lady mag_huiling's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
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    Re: My Life Story

    Continue to do what you think is right to keep this family and marriage. If he still doesn't turn back to this family, that will be his lost. He lost a good and loving wife, a daughter, a happy family that he was supposed to have.

  4. #4
    Imperial Concubine
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Geylang Bahru
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    Re: My Life Story

    Plan your moves properly, if cannot keep the man, at least, try to keep some of his cash.

    Remember, if he trying to be cool and nasty to you, to force you to leave him, dont let him get what he wants. You and your girl's needs and future should come first. Even if he try to trick you into thinking that he will still take care of you after the divorce, dont't believe him, even if he wants to, his future partner may not agree to it.

    It is just like resigning from a job, take whatever you want, before you throw in the letter, not after, cos everyone will be very wary of your movement.
    Are you working now, you should seroiusly starts to consider some long term plan for yourself and your girl. Rightly now, if you think that situation is really quite bad, you may want to have a "stocktake" of the assets first.

    Plan for the worst scenario, $ is more important, if later on he changed his mind about the D, then ok, if not, at least you still got $ for you and your girl's future.

    Be strong, dont't give up, your girl need you.

  5. #5
    Worthy Lady
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    Re: My Life Story

    I agreed to what MsKoh1973 had said. Now your top piriority should be on your girl and both hers and your future. I cun say men cannot be trusted, but it's always good to just plan for yourself first.

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