This is a discussion on Need some advise pls within the Single Parents Support Group forum, part of the MummySG Special Group category; Hello all, im 24 yrs old this yr.. went for a check up yesterday and found out that im already ...
im 24 yrs old this yr.. went for a check up yesterday and found out that im already pregnant for like 7mth?? dear daughter : 17th Oct 2009.
My bf age 38 divorced, with 2 daughter age 13 & 14.
He sae he cant have the baby.. as it will affect his family.. and he dont know what to do now.. neither do i..i seriously wanna have this baby.. wun give up for adorption...
Any idea what shld i do... am very very lost now !!!
since you are very sure that you want the baby with you, leave your boyfriend and bring up your baby on your own. it will be very tough but i'm sure your family will give you the necessary support.
Hi Huiping, sorry can I ask how come you never suspect that you are pregnant for the past 7mths??
Now, you can only be brave to be a single parent. Since you only have 2 mos left, have you made the necessary preparations? It's time to break the news to yr parents and prepare for your bundle of joy
yeah..is like so late then you realise??7mth lehs...omg...well..nthin can be done..bt as what above mention...leave e guy...raise e baby by yourself...this is what i'm doin too....no point kepin him by urside...since he said so....
My elder sis had gone thru almost the same thing as you Huiping when she's only 18... Except that she's about 5 to 6 mths pregnant when it's discovered and had already broken up with the bf then... Also wondered how come the 2 of you dont't suspect a single thing much earlier... sigh... Anyway, my family accepted the fact and had considered few options like give the baby up for adoption etc... Finally we decided to keep the baby with my eldest sis who's planning to get married. Initially all of us have to cook up a story during gatherings even with relatives' suspision but after a few years it just became naturally accepted... It was definately a very difficult phrase in the beginning but trust me the love for the baby will help you live everyday bravely as a single parent... dont know about your bf but I'll respect you if you do have the courage in deciding to bring up your baby yourself eventually... Hope you are able to seek your family's understanding and assistance... Jia You!
it won't be easy for you to be a single mom. the saying goes there is a will there is a way. good luck. Right now i think the baby is more important than your bf.
like what the other mummies have said, your bf must pay for you and the baby whether or not he wants the baby.
Now that it's past 24 weeks, it's illegal to abort the baby. Tell your bf that.
Do join a support group cos the following months will be emotionally tough on you. Take care!
my dear, you r already 8 mths preg not 7mths.
your EDD is base on 40 weeks.
meaning, in another 1 month plus time, you would be full term already.
but very curious, how can you not suspect you were pregnant??
anyways, as mentioned, since you want to keep the baby, then you gotta be strong n try to learn as much as you can to be a mother.
your guy, he wont be arnd to help you since he mentioned he cant have the baby.
another irresponsible asshole.
but do let him know that you do expect him to PAY for the expenses of the baby, cos he cant run away from the LAW.
have you let your family know? parents?
very impt, cos they r the only ones who will help you go thru this.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
YES, ask that stupid guy to PAY FOR HIS MISTAKE
well, if he doesn't want the baby, then ask him PAY FOR EVERYTHING !!
jiayou sist! i will support you all the way!!
we will be there!
agreed with the mummies here, rmb to make him pay. cos from giving birth, gynae fee, hospital fees, pediatrician's fees, after birth mummy and baby's check up ALL NEED MONEY $$$$$$$$$
yes, keep all receipts for your visits to gynar, hospital bills, baby's expenses, then when baby is born, go to court n request maintenance fee.
if he petition against it, court will request to do DNA test, if tested he is the father, he have to pay for the DNA test fees n baby's maintenance.
wow.. thx all the mummies here... really really very appreciate it... ya.. i've just told my mum about it... well, initially of coz she cant tk it..
now she also helping me.
i did not realise at first whn i was preg.. coz ok i had an abortion last dec 1st 2008.
then on january 2009, i did self test myself, bt it was negative.. following march 2009 i tested again.. NEGATIVE !!! then after that i feel there is this "something" inside my tummy moving. At first i thought i was sick or smth .
Well after confirmin with 1 of my friend whom also ave birth before, told me ya i was pregnant. And my younger sis too... then i went straight to womens clinic for a scann. Then realise was 8mths pregnant.. Now what can i do.. I wun give out this baby that is for sure... coz i have lost 1 already.. this time round i know its gonna be very hard life ahead.. But i feel sad, baby is gonna have no dad.. isnt it unfair to the baby? Now i told my Bf again and again that he cant be so heartless as to just leave me and baby alone.. He too has kids.. But all he told me was.. abortion is the only way out for him. But i told him im 8mths preg not 8daes or 8 weeks.. he sae tts what he meant,, 8mth then tell him what can he do.. he really cant accpet.. no 1 will =.=
im very lost now...
hi all mummies.. thx for all your support... well i've just break the news to my mum.. initially of coz she was shock and cant tk it..bt right now i guess she slowly calm down.. and is also helping me with all the baby stuff.. and my sis too.. Thx sis.. really sorry and appreciate..
Well as for why i did not realise im pregnant is becoz , last dec 1st 2008 i had an abortion before... then on january 2009, i did a self check once it was negative. then on March 2009 i did another self check again, negative. After few mths ltr i can feel there is "something" moving inside my tummy. I thought i was sick or smth, smth growin inside my tummy. Then after confirmin with 1 of my girlfriend, ( she gave birth before) met up with her, see my tummy, and feel baby moving inside.. And my younger sis too.. then i went for check up on Monday at this Women's Clinic. Surprising, the gyane said dear daughter : 17 Ot =.= me and my sis was like OMG!!!! i was too stunt to sae anything.
Yesterday i told my bf again.. there must be a way out. He told me abortion is the only way out for him.. then i scold him crazy? im 8mths preg not 8daes or 8weeks.. then he said tts what he meant.. 8mths then tel him, what can he do? i told him no choice bt have to accept it. he said cant accept it, no 1 will. I truly dont understand.. He also gt 2 kids himself.. How can he be so self fish.. this is also his child..
Im really very sad right now.. lots of thing to think.. But 1 thing i wun give up the baby tts for sure.. I know its gonna be very hard.. Is it unfair to my baby? No daddy for her??
Btw its a baby Girl =)
Last edited by huiping85; 26-08-2009 at 03:50 PM.
congrats on your baby girl.
baby girls r lovely. (not saying baby boys arent ok!)
to a certain pt of view, of cos it is not fair to your child that she doesnt have a daddy since many kids do.
but now is her daddy doesnt want her, you already did your best to convince him.
if can, keep evidence of him asking you to abort, saying he dont want the baby.
then in future, if you ask for maintenance from him, n he wants custody of baby, at least, you have evidence that he doesnt want the baby from day 1~
be strong, its not an easy journey, but a fulfilling one.
you have ppl to help you, so dont worry so much. enjoy the rest of your pregnancy~
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
your boyfriend is very selfish. he only think of himself! you're alrdy 8mth preg and he still got the nerve to mention ABORTION??? it will not only kill your baby and will also put your life in danger!
from my point of view, i think if you your baby has such daddy with her, then it's call UNFAIR... since her daddy is so heartless, might as well dont want this kind of daddy...
you're lucky that your mum and sis are being supportive... no worries, being a single mummy is not the end of world... many single mummies here survive well and much more better than anyone of us... They can bring up their babies, giving them the best, the love, so can you! JIAYOU!!
anyway i had also been thru the stage as single mum before... preg at 17 and still taking Os... but everything is over and i'm happily married with 2 more kids..
be strong for the sake of your gal and with your mum helping you...
take care and your baby will be here soon!!
Now i feel im a burden... Everything needs money..
I call him and he dont pick up the phone.. I sms him saying about everything nids money now.. Also no reply... i dont come from a rich family.. worst of all.. i've been a idiot whom have not been working for very long.. i gt no savings too.. now things happen then i start to worried...
ok now i have receive his reply.. he said he cant have another baby or family. even if i have told him few mths earlier. y am i doin this to him =.= he will bear all the expenses for abortion if makeknown few mths bak. he is angry and confuse. he cant have anything to do with the baby and he dont believe that im 8mths pregnant.. nwhe is blamin me for doin all this to him... it will destroy what he have worked for all these yrs.. now he is blaming me for god sake.. now become its my fault.